ndp

Today, It was National Day Preview. I managed to get four tickets from my sister since her school was invovled in NDP. I called Bee Lan to go with me but Hui Hui and Hung Yong could not make it. I still did not know who to ask since so many people rejected my offer. Until Medallyn called that she and Denyse were interested to go.I was so thrilled. I met them at 4pm at Bugis MRT station. I started to wear red singlet and bermuda as my friend told me that it was be very hot and stuffy.

I took a bus from my home and i saw the bus-stop was filled with people in red attires. No wrong guess that they would be going for NDP preview.I was kinda of freak out to see so many red attires. Worse, I wore a red shoes to complement my attire.I hope I won't be caught by fashion police.I took a bus from Boon Lay to prevent myself being caught embarrased with other enthuasistic Singaporeans. I was late because the traffic at city hall was horrendous. It was very slow paced. I was regretted for not taking MRT, just to save face.I should be proud of being sinagporean.Yeah right.

I met them at 4.15pm,we quickly bought some food ranging from fritters, buns,bread,laksa and gado-gado.It was my first time attending such event and It was also my first time attending such event with them.I guessed we ( especially me and beelan who had enormous appetite, I just forgone my detox diet ) bought so much food there. We decided to take MRt there because I feared of the slow traffic outside.When we reached Kallang Station and once we just stepped out of the train, we saw so many singaporeans donned in red . Especially outside, everywhere i saw red. The feelings was awesome. Bee Lan even tricked Medallyn about being stopped at the entrance for not wearing red.She wore pink top. We took a shuttle bus opposite the MRT station to the stadium.

The stadium was very crowded. We quickly rushed inside to take our fun pack. Bee lan was more than eager to have those freebies but for me, i had to reserve my Fun Pack to my sis's colleague's child.Then we quickly rushed inside to get good place. The party was just warmed up with jean, haikel and gurmit even though we managed to get the seat at 5.45pm. We explored the goodies in the fun pack bag. The fun was different today. Somehow I remembered me as Singaporeans and felt patriotic. I am proud being Sinagporean. Denyse made so many noise whereas people around are eithier living dead or dumb. We filled in to the wrong crowd but despite that, we created our own silly fun.

The feeling of watching NDP on TV and on live were totally different. The experience was priceless when watching live, especially with other singaporeans.It was like we 're nation, one people, one Singapore. Truly. Bee lan helped me with fake tattoo - singapore flag on my deltiod while I put tattoo of other design on her arm. JJ lin sang Home with his own version - a bit techno, catered to young crowd. Then march started and we sing song from Indian, Malay, Chinese to English. I totally forgot most of the songs. I remembered singing them during secondary days. Speaker of the parliament, Mr Abdullah Tarmugi was there. The rest was ebing simulated. The performances were so-so. I was waiting to sing those songs, together with good friends. I did not mind the embarassment. I just felt so Singaporean.But of course, I was waiting for fireworks. They were so splendid, beautiful and just colourful. I could just reached for the sky. The happiest moment in time. Finale was Kit Chan singing Home. I was totally full of happy emotions.

The happiness was really short-lived. We had to undergo the crowd when we were about to get out of stadium. I hate human jams. We did see some unsightly events , old lady drop dead, uncle fell down, blah blah. Will I care when I was totally pissed , pespired bad and hot. We managed to get out of Kallang and went to City hall Long John Silver to have dinner. After that we went back home. I felt good today. Thanks Medallyn, Denyse and Bee Lan for the company. It was priceless.

[ picture coming soon ]

I woke up damn early just to book the auto-lab, but to realise that the slot i wish to book was being occupied by the researcher students. I just book on Tuesday slot because I had tutorials on other weekdays except thursday and saturday. I went to library to update my blog. I went to meet all the subject coordinator while waiting for hung yong. Then we had lunch at canteen when I bumped into my ex-roomie, ridz. He joined us and we did a lot of catching up.All of us walked around the carnival ( we stopped at Lincoln's booth ) to see around. Then we went to the ECA fair for a while. Ridz and I got freebies from Christian Crusade Society. I was hoping for more but I was a bit old to do the begging.

Mountaineering, waterpolo-canoeing, Wakeboarding, Lindy-hop and Rugby were among the activities I wished to join, until I came to the sense that I am in final year not first year. I met several people again.But nothing compared to Hung Yong, he seemed to say hi to people in every booth.Boo! He is more popular than me. He is angela nd I am bastard, that made a big difference in social circle.We met up with Kailing.

Time's up. Ridz and I went to the prayer nearby. He drove and the car was so fantastic........ to be continued with picture ,.... time to go back home

Esjay, Hung Yong and Ridz at ECA fair

Hung Yong and kailing

Today I went to the lab at 10am to continue my lab.Somehow I managed to get positive results, until I got call from Lincoln that he would be coming to NTU to sell pets. The welcome carnival was here again, organised by NTUSU. It was situated at level 1 of the whole north spine NTU.It lasted for two days. I thought I would give a miss since I may be going with darling Medallyn. But then he needed my help. I met him outside MPE entrance and we went to B4 to collect more goods to teh carnival. I was supposed to do my project and I helping out my friend. He owed me a meal.I walked around awhile seeing what's in store in the carnival. It was my first time attending such event for 4 years of university. I had never supported such student union events, even though I was a pro-SU.

I met up with Lincoln again at 2pm for lunch at canteen A. I just left my project unattended and I knew I might not get to finish it on time today.I called Terence to join us for lunch after his lectures.After that, we just hanged out at his booth. Actually, he was helping his friend to sell the pets - hamsters, rabbits and fighting fish. He really impressed me with his vast knowledge on these creatures - the origin, the name, the hygience, the living habitat blah blah. He made me into shame for neglecting my cat.The people just came and took a look and asked thsoe questions I did not even know at all. It was not ignorance but lack of expertise.I could not bullshit to them because mostly those who came to our booth kept rabbit and hamsters.

hermes: welcome carnival

I met up with many people; Kailing, Anton, Cheryl, lincoln's cousin to name few.Actually there was one more booth which also sell Pets and other accessories.But Lincoln told that the owners were not that friendly and just wanted tos ee the pets as business.But the lady boss,whom Lincoln was helping out was not so keen in selling the pets anyhow. She made sure the pets would be in good hands of the owners. Talking about being passionate and pet-lovers. I guessed woman can be very personalized in selling such delicate living things. Morever, she was very up close and personal with the customers who bought the hamsters like giving advice and how-tos when keeping pets. I guessed that may be a marketing strategy to make business survive.

the drawf rabbit ( $120 )

Today is NTUSU flag day. I was so silly to take a bus to Boon Lay interchange and faced those undergraduates in red tee begging for donation. Maybe I was just being harsh with word. They would doing some charity drive for the NTU funds with mere ece points of 3.The 3 points was only secured if one's tin was half-filled with coins. They would use the satay stick as the gauge.I seemed to be expert in this because i was 'volunteered' during my first year after the union camp.The seniors said it was fun to do the begging. I remembered that time, i was with hung yong, hui ting and Julia ( if I was not wrong )were situated at the bus stop beside the somerset MRT station. Bee lan and Hui Hui went to Bedok.I did not go chasing around asking for donation from the passer-by. I just stood there and whoever like my face , would be voluntarily dropped their coin into my tin.

I did my final year project for the whole day. I was just disappointed when the result was always negative. It can be so demoralising. I just did what I supposed to do.I called Terence to have lunch with me at Canteen B, as usual. He went to try out the Beijing Dim Sum at new store;10 dumplings for $3.Then I just chilled out at Canteen A again with Terence before he went to NIE gym for work out and I continued doing my project.I was approached by auntie who worked at McDonalds restaurant and said, " Long time no see.". I gasped. Is it someone I paid for sex? * jokingly* . She was the one who worked at McDonalds Rst at Gek Poh Ville and she still recognised me after two month of not having my breakfast there. I usually did my revision there during exam period.Now, She pestered me to buy those sinful deserts.I told her that I just had my lunch and I did not think I could fill another fattening stuff into my stomach now. Actually, I just tried not to eat such stuffs. I guessed I better stayed away from canteen A

Since I did not have lecture notes, I did not attend ant today. There was so much people q-ing at photocopy room to purchase their ordered notes. I skipped the queue and wnet to meet darling medallyn around 2.30pm. She was still queueing for her first year common engineering notes. But she told me that she would meet me soon as she was asking her friend to buy for her. I met her outside McDonalds with her friend. I guided her to the campus bookstore at the NIE. The queue was quite long but Medallyn managed to buy her textbooks. While waiting, I bumped into the girl who did the survey about tea at NUS. I told her that I was from Nus duing the interview and bragging about how much I know NUS ( well, it is true I know NUS as much as NTU ). World can be so small that I managed to see her at bookstore. She asked why I was doing here when I was the NUS undergraduate.I just smiled and told her that I accompanied my friend. It was a really lame answer from me.Lesson learnt was never lie even though thr truth could be so ugly or embarassing at certain situation. The world , especially in singapore which consist of 3 millions population only, can be very small.

After that , I showed Medallyn the Computing Lab so that she can print last minute tutorials or notes as the lab at south spine closed at 12am.She proceed to meet her friend while I headed home for a rest. Kinda of tired, especially my eyes gave me trouble again due to dirty lens but I did not have supply anymore.

In evening, I went for a run at NTU non-stop. It was kinda of small achievement because i can do that without listening to music which was alway been my motivation for long run. Somehow, I tried to think that the the road represent my journey and the the bustop, represent the month. One should know that there are several slopes along the NTU campus. So when I came across the high slopes, i said to myself that i can handle such difficulties with my perseverance and i Should not give up halfway for just minor setback. Life is always up and down, like the slopes in NTU campus

Wearing a yellow polo and desert camoflauged bermudas, I went to school library and tried to bought some notes. Apparent there were so many queues: Q for matriculation card, Q for food, Q for FIR , Q for freebies, Q for buying notes, Q for toilet and Q for taking bus. I just cannot stand the crowd fro first day.I could not get a empty computer terminal. I already missed my lecture when I try to wait for the 179 bus at Jurong West Extension instead of Interchange. Bad moves.I just walked towards the south spine and bought my lunch at usual stall. BUt today, the price of the meal increased to 30c.I met with darling medallyn at canteen B. Sweet surpise. Nice to see someone familar and all smiling. Anyway, seems that these fresh undergraduates were better dressed. I better start to strategize my style that can outshine everyone.Time to go lecture now.

Bangkok trip: Unreleased

I quickly rushed down to the Lecture Lt1 to attend M144 ( Principle of Law ) until I decided to meet Medallyn at canteen B. She needed some help regarding the subjects and some important tips for NTU survival. I should write something himbo's guide to survival in NTU. hmm! Anyway I enjoyed her company. She was so sweet to treat me ice milo. She should not have to.I was going to meet her again.

I went to Clementi McDonalds to meet Juliana regarding the picture so that I can burn cd for the rest of the girls. I also did some catching up with her after her graduation. I wished her luck for finding her ideal job.That is most important criteria.Then I rushed down to the Holland Village Burger King to meet Hung Yong to give me the pictures. I had Whopper meal at $3.90 while waiting. Then we both browsed the picture from UOC 2001 till now. How much changes we could observe about us and our friends. I guessed the most drastic change over years would be Hui Hui. Let me compiled the picture and I would do Before and after during the University years.

Today was really an idle day for me.Maybe it was last day of school break.I went to Sim Lim square to buy some blank CD in bulk at 3pm. I bumped into Dane. A friend of mine whom people said that we both look alike. I really wondered that my face can really morphed everytime. Somehow I have ASIAN face.I can look like chinese, Indonesian, Indian, Thai, Filipinon, Malaysian but never Singaporean. It all depends on my skin colour, hairstyle and Dressing sense. Uniquely Me.

Then I had my lunch at McDonalds at King Albert Park and do some things-to-do lists for this week.

Things needed to be Done
1. Get the CD ( Pictures from bangkok trip ) from Juliana and burn CD for 5
2. Make a black framed spectacle at President Optical shop
3. Finish the FYP experiements
4. Print the CD cover and some notes
5. Buy Lecture notes
6. 3 Days detox fruit fast
7. Look for part time job
8. Get the picture or maybe M403 and M411 notes from Hung yong
9. Pay debts to Bee lan, Kien and terence
10. Settle the Prescribed Elective subject.

I was quite excited for tomorrow. Somehow I would be a total stranger again where all those familar, mostly were not be around anymore.I said to myself that I would make use of school facilities fully, make more friends and be rebel with cause ( attention seeker as usual ). Of course attend all the lectures, most importantly. I knew It would be a rough journey for thsie 4 months. I hope I could make it then. Ciao. Time to watch Sex and the city at HBO.

I went to town at 2pm, apparently to kill time till the time's up. I stopped at HMV and went to the Gents to realise that my shirt was torn somewhere near the armpit. Am I getting bigger? So I looked around for the some similar shirt. Everything was so expensive. I walked to the CK tangs and found quite nice dirty pink tee-shirt embodied with initial SJ. SJ stands for Seed Jeans. So I bought it for 50% of $23. Good Bargain. Actually, I went to the Far East Plaza first to browse for more tops. I came to realise that I like that one at CK Tangs. I walked back and bought it.

I took a bus to Bugis and walked towards Tekka Mall, feeling quite hungry. I had a bite at Burger King at basement of Tekka Mall. It was quite a quiet but very cold place. I checked my time: 6.45pm. I decided to walk to the Farrer Park LRT station along the Little India. I always fascinated by the colourful and amazing scene along the shophouse. But of course, I could be turned off by their strong incense smell. I reached there at 7.15pm.Waiting.

Hung Yong called me to meet at control Station. I saw him and Hui Ting , and they were both wearing green clothes.Then Hui Hui and Bee Lan came a few minutes later. Somehow they wore similar but different coloured attire.They were just back from plaza Singapura. We walked to the Muthu Samy restaurant near Race Course Road.It was my virgin trip to such a posh Indian restaurant. It has a very beautiful decor, felt like I was in Maharajah Palace.We took a while to order the food. We,except Hui Hui and Bee Lan were not familiar with the food here. We managed to get Fish head Curry, Tandoori chicken, Curry Squid, Curry Mix vegetable and lime juice. The fish head curry was very appertizing and delicious but not other dishes. Somemore I was surpised that I had small appetite today. Could it be my Detox programme or I just did not like the curry? Or maybe those nasi Bryani and Spices made me full earlier? Bee Lan and Hung Yong had bigger appetite tonight.I myself was surpised with Bee Lan's unusual enormous appetite. We had fun again. I was just happy whenever they were with me. Some kind of therapy :Those laughter, fun and food. Bee Lan paid $50 for the meal while the rest of us paid $10 each. Total cost was $96.50.

The logo, Dishes and us

The fabulous five and infamous fish head curry

King Fisher beer : made in Bombay

We all walked to the Mustafa Center. Along the way, Bee Lan and I saw the sign board that said that the accident occured at this site, so ant witness please inform the police. Bee Lan made this racist jokes:

Bee Lan: It must be happened at night, the driver cannot the see the people here.
Esjay ( looking at the sign board again) : But it happened at 11.35AM.
Bee Lan: Then the victime must be chinese.
We both laughed at her corny jokes. We both loved making corning jokes and even laughed at each other jokes if they were deemed funny.

It was their virgin trip there. It was very crowded at Mustafa Center. Hui Hui bought headphone and Bee lan bought some vitamins for her father. I managed to check some toiteries' prices. They were cheaper than those at Watsons.We took a train to Dhoby Ghaut to chill out at the Pablum cafe but Hui Ting went back because she was quite tired. She just back from work when she met us.I bumped into Diana and Linus

Fabulous Five again

I ordered Kiwi/Calamnsi Smoothies, Hui Hui:mango smoothie, Hung Yong:raspberry Milkshake and Bee lan: Passionfruit Tea. We dicussed about cycling trip at Ubin, Wakeboarding trip and Redand Trip. They always surpised me with different trip. For today, I never knew they were quite sporting about going for some kind of sports. I would be more than thrilled to join the expenditure. Hung Yong was in dilemma about his decision to go to China. He was going to work ( sort of ) at Shanghai for 4 years. he liked the Job scope but he was not confident about sudden changes in environment, if he could adapt to it or working with strangers. For me, it was really a good opprtunity to get away from Singapore and gain very fruitful experience. When one come back from China, the prospect of getting the job will be better.Somemore the pay wise was quite high and talking about expenditure in Shanghai was not that big and he can come back richer. Maybe the time fram was too long ( 4 years ) but he can came back to Singapore at certain period like Chine New year.

If he go, I definitely miss him around. But Bee lan was more than encouraged him to take the offer. So when next time if we or maybe Bee lan wanted to go for Shanghai trip. At least we/she caould save on the accomodation wise. We just wish him best and hope he make a good decision about the job offers. After that, we went back home and I managed to get the last bus home.

We, with new hairstyle, new look and new life but friends forever

Something about the DETOXIFCATION PROCESS

Headaches may occur at the beginning; fever and/or colds may also appear; the skin may break out; there may be a short interval of bowel sluggishness, occasional diarrhea, feelings of tiredness and weakness, disinclination to exercise, nervousness, irritability, negativity or mental depression, frequent urination, etc. However, the great majority of people find their reactions tolerable and are encouraged to bear with them because of the many improvements which have already occurred and are becoming more evident with each day. This acts as an inspirational force to them.

The symptoms will vary according to the materials being discarded, the conditions of the organs involved in the elimination, and the amount of energy you have available. The more you rest and sleep when symptoms are present, the milder they are and the more quickly they are terminated.

Be happy you are having symptoms. Realize deeply that your body is becoming younger and healthier every day because you are throwing off more and more wastes which would eventually have brought pain, disease, and much suffering. Those who have the worst symptom-reactions and follow through to their successful termination are thus avoiding some of the worst diseases which would eventually have developed had they continued their careless eating habits.

Don't expect to go on an ascending scale of quality, that improving your diet will make you feel better and better each day until you reach perfection. The body is cyclical in nature, and health returns in a series of gradually-diminishing cycles. For example, you start a better diet and for a while you feel much better. After some time, a symptom occurs--you feel nauseous for a day and have diarrhea with a foul-smelling stool. After a day, you feel even better than before and all goes fine for awhile. Then you suddenly develop a cold, feel chills and lose your appetite. After about two or three days (assuming you don't take drugs or do anything else about it), you suddenly recover and feel better than you did for years.

Let us say this well-being continues for two months, when you suddenly develop an itch or rash. You don't take anything special for it. This rash flares up, gets worse and continues for ten days, and suddenly subsides, immediately after this you find that your hepatitis is gone and your energy has increased more than ever before. The rash became an outlet for the poisons in the liver which produced the hepatitis.

This is how recovery occurs--like the cycles in the Dow-Jones Average at the beginning of a bull market recovery. You feel better, a reaction occurs and you don't feel as well for a short while. You recover and go even higher. Then another reaction occurs, milder than the last. You recover and go even higher. And so it goes, each reaction milder than the last as the body becomes pure--each becoming shorter in duration and being followed by a longer period of feeling better than ever before, until you reach a level plateau of vibrant health. Here you become relatively disease-free.

We must learn to obey the laws of Nature. We must learn to eat simple, pure, and natural foods, properly prepared and combined, and our bodies in return will cast off all the poisons we have taken in during our lives. The mysteries of the body, the operations of nature, the vital forces working in nature are far beyond what our minds are prepared to understand at present. Every great physician or scientist who ever lived marvelled in awe and humility at the wonders of nature. Yes--we are "fearfully and wonderfully made!"


this article really made aspired to continue my detox diet for another week. Today, i cheated myself by eating my favorite food, chocolate. Gee! I did not why my father bought such things. So many tempting sinful food while staying at home. I went to tan at Clementi Pool for 1 hr to get myself perspired and as well as get my tannline. Then I went home and rest again. Sometimes, you really wish to give up your diet when you faced with symptoms, especially weakness and headaches. But when I read the article. I guess I am getting younger and newer as times goes by. And that is very hopeful. No more meat! No more processed food ! No more Gym!

I just felt so tired to wake up. My whole body ached and I should listen to my body and slept again.I woke up at 11am, feeling really weak and tired. Third day of detoxifying my body making me feel so weak and sick. I smell bad, I perspired a lot, my tongue is full of whitish layer, I got the most excruciating headache, I shit smelly shits, I urinated with the most yellowish pee. I am undergoing the whole body cleansing process. Those ugly things were toxins that had been staying in my body for years was being gotten rid through detox diet. Anyway I really need to lose my weight ( fat ).

abstract from Mean Girls:
Regina: I need to lose 3 pound
Karen and Gretchen gasps at her.
Karen: You look so skinny
Gretchen: Yeah
Regina: Shut up


I went to school at 2pm, to eat something. I cannot take it. I NEED some CARBO for energy or else I will be sleeping whole day.

I got slammed for being truthful in my blog, Am I supposed to write sweet things about me or gain self-confidence or self-esteem by writing how sweet and innocent I am.Gosh, That is so Not Me. If I am, then I am.Why becoming wannabe. Whether I am jerk, bastard, ass hole, bitch or whatever names, if you did not know me well, you have no right to judge me by the words written. Some people love to write good things about themselves when we know that there is balance in the life.Some good and some bad.That's goes with our characters.

To those wannabes, it is depressing to be someone else ( but it is ok to follow and learn other people's good character ). I can relate that, because i was once a wannabe. Wannabe Aaron Kwok, I change my name to aaron.So amused.Recently i wished to be and look like Jonathan pang.But I realise we both are just two unque people. I could never be like him.Ever.

I woke up damn early to do my fyp which was been pending for 1 week.Spending my whole day in the lab, trying to finish up whatever I left behind.As usual, My day will never be 'beautiful' without being scolded by the researcher students. This time, I left Nafion solution on the table which cause the smell so strong that it can fill the whole lab. I got scolded worse not only by researcher but the professor for my negliengce. Nafion is a poisonous organic compound which will vaporise to the air and kill us. They were such paranoid idiots. My life is much valuable than them. They could not even spoke a simple english. Scary.I just told them that it was my first time handling the solution and I would never do the damn mistake again.Luckily I got hold of my project and understood what I was doing now. At least I got positive results through my own research and RS Qing Lin was so super nice to help me without even me asking him for help. He just took initiative, unlike other research students who gave me those blank faces when we bumped into each other.Plus, he knows my name.Honoured.

I went back home, had a dinner with fruit juice at 8pm. While watching sitcom 'Oh!Dad', I fell asleep with my contact lens on. I woke up at 12am and took off my lenses and went back to sleep. I guessed my detox diet took its effect already.

1 week to go for exam. School, especially library was crowded with fresh undergraduates. I did not even go to lab to do my experiments. I just hated working on Mondays. Worse, the loud cheer and claps from freshmen orientation camp from hall seemed to be everywhere. When i heard that this UOC turnout was very good. In each group, there would be 20 freshies but they had problems with seniors. Most enthuasistic seniors came from my batch and this week were their convocation week.

I did not even attend the last day of Union Orientation camp at Sentosa because I knew I was not welcomed at all. Going to such camp, especially Union Camp is a jinx.
1st Camp 2000 ( When I was freshie ) - I had big problem with this bastard in my group
2nd camp 2001 ( When i was chairman ) - I lost my handphone during the foam party
3rd camp 2002 - I got car accident at hall 3 when I wanted to meet felicia's group
4th camp 2003 - I lost my digital camera in the sea when I wnat to help them during the building a tower session.
I did not think I would wish to come down and support them anymore. They did not know who I am.

I spent most of my afternoon at library reading up my FYP as well as chatting with Lily. I got message from denyse that Medallyn would be going to stay at hall 11.Now they were cleaning up the room. Some day, i would be going to visit her hostel and her of course when the school started. last time, I did get residence at hall 11 but I rejected the offer because there is no point at all. The distance from hall 11 to South Spine was equal to the distance from my block to the school. Only after secon round, I managed to stay at hall 14, which give me so many sweet memoirs. Kinda of miss hall life.Maybe I try to psycho my mum for letting me stay in hall for last time.

Today I am alone, again. I am not complaining. I rather be by myself than hang out with wrong crowd, worst still lame crowd.

I receive a virtual letter from a friend ( the one who I shut him up for not apologize what he said to me without thinking other people's feelings including me)

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Dear Egoy
You are lucky to have friends considering how rude you are to people, if i had my way u'd rot alone. you have problems. personality problems. take a hint, swallow your pride and just say sorry once in a while. ive known you for 5 years, and not once have i heard you appologise for being wrong. you just storm off, or hang up the fone when i call.dont give me that crap about you being never wrong, cos u are. i know your problem. you are spoilt, and dont deserve friends as good as us. spend ur friday nites in alone, see if we care. dont come bitching to us cos you never go out to any parties. go jerk off you whale. loser loser loser loser loser YOU ARE NO HIGHER THAN US!!! THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE HIGER THAN US IS YOUR BODY FAT PERCENTAGE. SO DONT YOU ARE LOOK DOWN UR HUGE NOSE AT US. LIKE WERE CRAP. COS YOUR ARROGANT. what makes you so special?

WE, YOUR FRIENDS, DEMAND RESPECT FROM NOW ON, OR YOU CAN KISS OUR ASSES GOODBYE.

Your long-suffering friend
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I was totally shocked, I actually write this letter for myself. Worrying, huh. They make me sound like Regina George in Means Girls. I was not even a Queen Bee at all. Bleah! I am more into Karen Smith, the dumb big-eyed Rose McGowan look-alike blonde.Guess not, I m Regina prototype. Should I be proud or disgusted with my inner character. Hey I invented Plastic like you guys.Bleah!

Anyway, I watched Mean Girls like about 10 times; It was like I could memorise the whole scripts.It was the most bitchy, plastic and non-complex movie that need no special effect to put the message across.Anyway I can related to those characters, not because I was one of them ( I am lying ) but i was involved in bitching industry.

At least, to some people whom I know, would prefer to hang out with underdogs ( ugly people) so that he would stand out among and within the group.I was like DUH! For me, I would prefer to hang out with any kinds of people EXCEPT ugly and self-centered bitches ( Applied to guys only ). But for girls, even if you are rude, mean or even high-class bitches, there are so many ways to handle them. Either Fart or Burp in front of their face.

Talking about having beautiful friends.I have plenty of them. And I am not choosy. Most beautiful people are either shallow or empty. I did say MOST. Some even turned me into hollow vessel, you know, the one who make the loudest and uneccessary noise.

The Rules are:
- Never wear the same things twice
- Pink On Wednesdays
- Colored Shoes on Mondays
- No patterns or designs with jeans
- Jeans on Fridays only
- No boots or strappy shoes with mini skirts
- Np all solids, or clashing patterns
- Tuesday shirts with slogans
- Designs on tops must colow match skirts
- shoes(not boots) must color match skirts
- No black skirts Mondays or Tuesday
OR else Dun sit with us if u break the rules

"Esjay, you know why people keep stealing their glance at you ? Because you are beautiful. Girls, guys and even gays look at you!" said my friend, rekcufrehtom

I felt like poking his eyes with my long, thick middle finger. Wait a minute! Me, beautiful? You can not describe a guy beautiful It is just not politically right. Let us define the word beautiful

Beautiful - delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or emotional admiration < http://www.the freedictinary.com >
Beautiful - aesthetically pleasing

Am I that exciting your intellectual or emotional admiration. For layman term, Did you feel electrifyings ensation when you look at me? Definitely no, right? Plus, I did not even fit into gorgoues category. Gorgeous is above beautiful in hierachy.I told him off and yet it is not wrong to say guy are beautiful. what the motherF***er! I would have say that the attractive is the poltically right and good word to describe the look of the guy. Like this," hey that guy looks so attractive!" rather than "hey that guy looks so beautiful!" And the guy I am talking about here is not a drag, sissy or even wore a dress. Just a man like your father or brother or even your boyfriend.

attractive - pleasing to the eye or mind especially through beauty or charm; "a remarkably attractive young man"; "an attractive personality"; "attractive clothes"; "a book with attractive illustrations"

But of course , there is no wrong with men going to beauty salon to look good, but not with the intention of beautifying their face.There is something changing in our civilization, or more it is a notion that is growing larger and larger beneath our unexamined desire for beauty at any expense.  The notion is that beauty is self justifying.  Becoming more aware of our looks is a good enough reason to do anything.  No one really would think twice about whether or not that is actually an objective improvement.A man that goes to salons, attends to his skin and cuticles, wears designer clothes and appears to be a male model are almost everywhere. They can be narcissistic and his purpose is exhibitionism.  He loves himself and he is in love with himself.Who does not want to look charming, (BUT not beautful). But then, why I make such a hoo haa over the statement.There is not big deal,right? There are pretty boys around in Singapore. Asian Men, especially thai and eurasian generally beautiful. Next time, if any Idiot tell me this

" Esjay , You look beautiful tonight "
I said, " Thank you, which part of me is beautiful?"
" hmm, your eyes."
I said," Absolutely. Thank you again. It will be nice if you say I look beautiful like your father or else he won'r pass bad genes to you" * shrug my fucking broad shoulder *

Pretty boy : aaron Kwok

Dear Crew Team of Extreme Makeover

I wish to participate in your reality show, Extreme Makeover. I am self-described nerd who feel that my looks have prevented me from gaining the respect of my peers, and I want this makeover desperately in order to look like a grown up professional.I also feel tha my looks have attributed to my solitary life, my stalled career and my shyness.In society where look is still the criteria, I had been rejected infinitely during job interviews and thousands of failed courtship.I really need to improve my self-esteem.

I believe I deserve your attention because I am fat, bald , blotched face, buckled teeth, extreme case of eye bags and look older than I am. Please accept me to be part of your team. Thank you

Regards
Mr Panda Danial

Attached below is my present picture

name: panda danial

Dear Mr Panda Danial
Congratulations for being selected in our reality show, Extreme Makeover.You are too ugly...i mean too good for us to reject your application. We will help to fulfil your dream with our professional helps. the process may take about 6 weeks and some of the procedures are rhinoplasty, chin implant, supplemental liposuction and extensive dental work, and Zoom whitening.But of course, we wish you to come down to Sentosa Hospital at Sentosa Island to undergo our interview as well as evaluation for selected operations personally.You will be added to our losers ( I mean patients ) data files for the show. Thank you for joining us.

regards
Presidents
Vainathan Goodiman / Hand Sum yian Dao
Extreme makover

I was so happy to receive the letter. I am going for the extreme makeover before the school start. Too bad I could meet anyone during six weeks but just wait for me. Wait a minute, how come they did not mention what time for the appointment tommorow?Give them a call.......hmm.....where is the telephone number?

I woke up late and terrible.My head was so heavy and I developed a sore throat and cold. I decide to make a trip to Polyclinic at Jurong East. I quickly rushed down , with hope that I won't be joining the peak crowd or my waiting time would be extended after noon.I got my queue number and patiently waited for my turn. My queue number was 2425, nice combination! I thought of requesting two days MC but then he was raising the voice at the nurse regarding the patient ( which I vaguely remembered ).Hence i just skipped the request and got one day MC then. I still had to queue up for the medicine and tha pharmacy was so crowded. I paid $13.60 for consultation fee and medicine.

I met Terence for lunch at same place: My Kampung eating house.I had chicken rice again and the banana fritters. Then I went to Jurong Regional library to borrow some books before I went back home.After consuming medicines, I took a long nap.

Feeling as though I was in a pressure cooker or in intense energy; feeling stress.There is a lot going on inside of me!A feeling of disorientation; not knowing where I was; a loss of a sense of place. I moved or in the process of moving into the higher realms. Heightened sensitivities to your surroundings. Crowds, noise, foods, TV, other human voices and various other stimulations are barely tolerable. I got overwhelmed very easily and become easily overstimulated.Sooner, I was going to burst.

I felt so un well. I didn't feel like doing anything.My body knows what it needs.I absolutely could not do certain things anymore. When I try to do your usual routine and activities, it feels downright awful.Letharguc.Weak.My system is also on overload.I could not bear to stand longer than 10 minutes in MRT.Worse, i caught in the rain today. I felt so sick.But I tried to regain my composure and just move on.

I received a sms from my cousin:

U're still the best in my books!Chin up.It does not matter what strangers think about u or may not think;to those people close to you, u 're the best!

So sweet message which I could not help smiling and feeling uplifting.

hi

I went to school at 9am, bumped into Yee Kuan in bus 179. It was crowded as today it was the first day of convocation and I heard the President would be coming down. I did my project at lab , realising that it was really total of tiome doing things that might not work. Even My researcher was not around. I ended going back home early to avoid some familiar faces. After buying my lunch, i just took bus home.On the way there, Terence smsed that today was Kien's Convocation day ( CEE ). Well, he did not even invited me for his graduation day, why must I make a first move to ask him to meet me today.Anyway, It was his Big Day and I did not think I would like to spoil the party.

I just too a long nap, My body was getting lazier and lazier especially when the weather was very nice and cool these days.I was going to meet terence at Burger King at Holland Village later as I need his cable for the camera. When i reached there, i saw Nick and Ridza there too. I was shocked to see them. It was unexpected meeting. I just ordered my meal. They left earlier than me because i need to do myreading on my FYP. But ended up editing my pictures. Worse they switched off the airconditioner in BK, making the whole place stuffy and warm.So I just left early.Such a wasteful day today.

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Sex Appeal
In a survival situation, you:	Outsmart your attacker
Your hidden talent is:	Seeing the best in others
Your gift is:	Genius
In groups, you:	Perfer to act as security
Your best quality is:	Your sensuality
Your weakness is:	Your overbearing nature
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

hiu

Saturday 10th 2004

I woke up at 10am, knowing that I would be late for meeting with them, Rid and Abd.I bumped into Rid in MRT. Then we met Abd at Bugis and walked to Bridal Shop for our make-up. We met up with most of the girls.While waiting, the guys started to come down. I was only close to few girls only. Most people said that Rid and I were brothers as we looked alike. And I was proud to have him as my younger brother. I was much closer to him and Abd than any other guys. Then we all had our lunch at Zam Zam restaurant.I ordered Chicken Bryani and It sucks. After that, most guys and two girls went to take MRT to Suntec. I went to buy Smart card and batteried for the digicam cost me $65.I realised that It did not fit into my N-gage plus Terence's Camera was quite lousy to take picture under dim light. Total waste of time. I reached there and chilled out with other group at nearest foodcourt. Then we settled down outside with the rest while waiting for the management to come down to open the door. We had so much and laughter while waiting. These bunch of people were such a fun people.

Then we had rehearsal on the actual stage plus all the celebrities involved this time. The instructor whispered to me that I better walked properly, don't purposely walked like duck as if I got big manhood. This time, I told him off that I usually walked that way since young and it does not matter whether I have big thang. Bleah! We spent more time waiting.Then we changed into our sponsor clothes ( Ugly ) and did our hairtstyle before we did our last full rehearsal. The event started at 8.30 pm as the damn big fuck came late due to circumstance ( Yeah right) the auditorium was not illed up and was quite empty. Behind the stage, I managed to see celebrity face to face. Most of us were very hungry but were not allowed to go out since there was a queue outside already. We just filled out stomach with sponsored distilled mineral water.We made several trip to toilets.

Due to my lousy camera, i did not take any pictures. Most of the girls wanted to take picture with Abd , making me their photographer. I did not mind not being taken with them but being their photgrapher. Hullo. Am I that unattractive? or Am I that old? Well, I did not give a damn actually. I just hanged out with the few guys inside the room. I rather be frozen in death in the cold room than being a desperate idiot whose face saying 'please take picture with me because I'm worth it'. These implies to those guys outside. Being anti-social and shy, I did not try hard to praise or getting closer to those I considered ugly and bitchy. Like I mentioned, I was close to those who were pretty and demure only. Bitches was fine But not those who apparently touched most guys and asked what they wear beneath the jeans. Bleah!

Sadly, I did not win the award, but to a friend who has persoanlity, can walk well and have celebrity friends. So unfair. Do I ahve to mingle more with celebrities. I really cannot accept such results.Sorry for those who vote for me.I was truly grateful and appreciated. I guess I was really a lousy guy. Sighs! From that moment, i felt ashamed and looked down upon by society. We changed back and sat behind to watch the show to see who the winner was. After being announced, I say hi to my family and relatives before I proceeded to the Reception to eat. I did manage to take pictures with some celebrities whom I adored using Ifa's digicam. It was quite eventful event. Should I forget my dream and pursue other else. I went home with two girls.One the way home, I had a fruitful conversation with the taxi driver. He even gave a discounted rate for our cab fare. How sweet!

Quote from him : It does not matter if you fell down so many time, But it does matter if you know how to stand up again after a fell

It means in layman term, Life is always ups and downs, if you faced with failure somewhere in your life, take it as a lesson and learnt from it positive because people will respect for ur effort , determination and motivation.What he said ,was relevant to what events happened to me previously. I should not take it seriously and just move on.After I wnet back home, I smsed my brother, Rid and Abd and Suzanna to thank them for the company during the short event. Definitely, I would contact with them.Good Nites Glamour and Hullo Ordinary


Sunday 11th 2004

I woke up very late at 1pm. I just went to school to do my project. When I reached there at 3pm, I halted a while, thinking about what I should do in my lab since I did not make any plan yet. So I went to Canteen B, just clear up the stuff. Nothing much to do at all.lazing around.Waste time just like that.

I forgot to book the equipment and surely I got scolded on monday again.I really hated school.

It is my first time going to the hair salon and I was very excited. I went to the Jurong point trying to choose which salon should I go: Jean Yip or Jantzen? Jean Yip was very crowded , with their staff than customers and the place was very small. Hence I ended up joining Jantzen.Being a first-timer, I ask the girl at the counter regarding the haircur, highlighter and the price. Maybe I should just gor a haircut for $18. She led me to my seat.I read some magazine while I waited for the hairstylist. I was introduced to thei female hairstylist named Yuki, a very pretty lady.She has hair FRINGE ( I just like girls with fringe ).I told her what kind of hairstyle I want by showing the Shawn Yue picture in Men Uno I brought, in case She did not understand my english.Plus, She suggest to do some highlighting in my hair. I just agreed without any consideration even though I knew I might regret for my decision.She was surpised that this was my first time visiting a hair salon. Usually I did my own haircut and I did not really like my hair texture plus an obvious grey hair which make me feel ashamed to visit the hair salon.I was just being conscious.

I spent about 2 hours in Jantzen because the highlight colour did not show well. I should choose blonde colour since Asian hair is very dark. When i look at myself, I felt good and looked good, minus not so obvious brown hairlight.I just could not wait to go to town and showed off * thick-skinned* I spent $74 on my hair and it was really quite heart-breaking experience.I definitely knew that I would not need to highlight my hair AGAIN.

I went home, called the screenbox about the availability of the tickets since my aunties were interested to watch the show. I headed to the office at chinatown and bought the ticket, make me ended up having no money at all. I still met Lily at Somerset , just that I won't
spend any money. We had dinner at Orchard Emerald.She treated me drink.We chatted while dining.Then we went to the Coffee Club Express at the Paragon to chill out a while. She ordered brownie for me because She knows I LOVE brownies. The coffee Club Express was so happening. So many gorgoues people there. Such an eye candies. I am one of them too. Gosh I felt so proud tonight.Lily and I just did some catching up with each other.

After that, I went to meet Terence, Nick and Chris at Borders. We hang out at Coffee Beans a while. Then we went to club for ahile before heading home since Nick was tired and sleepy.Plus I had long day tommorow plus I did not sleep whole night yesterday.

tiured

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of lifeand this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

I really satisfied with answer while doing these kinds of quiz. They always give me almost accurate answer or prediction.

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	10
your best quality is	people love to be around you
your worst quality is	you get depressed sometimes
this is because	its genetic
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

this version enter my original name - and it was quite true regarding the answer given.Go and give a try

I woke up late, as usual. Where is my discipline? I met Terence again for lunch near his house since I really company. I had Chicken Rice cost about $3 and of course Terence treated banana fritters. The banana fritters aka Goreng Pisang at My Kampung Coffee house was the most cheap and tasty in Jurong west. I always come here to buy their delicacies. We walked to the Lakeside MRT station.I took a train to Bedok Station and went to the McDonalds to kill time doing some reading while waiting for my friend but it was crowded.Worse,My hair was getting flatter , making me look like Jim Carey in DUMB and DUMBER movie. Since I could find any cap in Bedok neighbourhood, I took train to Tampines Station. I did manage to get a red trucker cap at Metro that cost $6.50.Good Bargain. So I hang out at McDonalds restaurant for an hour reading my Literary reviews, before heading to Bedok MRT station again. I waited for Abd. for almost 45 minutes,making me more restless. I wondered he remembered the meeting or something cropped up or just lost my handphone.Well, I decided to wait till he reached the station at 5.45pm.

We had dinner at Nearby hawker center. We chatted a while which made me know more about him. Somehow we did have something in common.Maybe good looking people do share same points of view on life.What shocked me that he was married with 5month old child. He was only 22 year old and now serving his national service. Somehow, his resposibility, hard work and determination really impressed me. I was 27 year old and yet I did not think about responsibility as a son to my parents, friend to others. Life is always full of surpise.

We walked to to the place and meet another guy, Rid. We waited for another 30mins before we started our rehearsal. I was so happy that most of the management remember my name. I felt good . There were some celebritied coming down for the reherasal.It ended at 10pm and Abd, Rid and I went back home.Rid and I took train while Abd took a bus home to woodlands. Durin the journey, I got to know this guy again. Why did these people stop impressing me with their success in life and dreams. He looked like Micheal Wong plus he was a national player in SIlat. What impressed me about him was his big dream.

Been a long day today, I reached home at 11pm.Met up with Shiqi and had a chat with him. He look and behaved so different now.Guess age was catching up with us and I did not allow this nature take its toils against me.

Since today the lab was being used by the researcher.No point for me going there wasting time doing nothing. So I was going to NUS to meet david's colleague to ask about my project since he was very familar and expertise in my fuel cell plus he is also a researcher doing master degree. I met up with Terence first for lunch at Jurong West near his house. He passed me the blank CD and a connection to my N-gage ( Total cost= $6). When he saw me, he commented that, in sarcastic way, from far, he thought I was my sister ( I lookedlike my sister ) due to my long hair. I was like....whoooo! Hold on! I did not look like Wang Lee Hom?But look like my sister.Get the facts right, Terence. Worse, He say I looked pretty. I took his criticism contructively and put in to one side.More to that, He came to meet me so late.I did not know he live in 40th storey which need 15 minutes to reach to ground level. I was totally pissed off. I came all the way to meet him and yet he took 15 minutes to reach. I hated LATECOMERS.

I just skipped the lunch date and straightaway took 198 bus to NUS.I did not want to be late for the appointment with David later. I had my lunch at Science Canteen. The food cost $2.60 and was not up to my expectation. Heck care! Very angry and hungry.I sat at LT 26 to sort my notes when the orientation group came to the the station ( the bench in front of me) to meet the station master. I was so shocked to see the group consist of more than 10 freshmen.It was much bigger than those in NTU. No wonder NUS was much more exciting and happening University compared to NTU. Why am I in NTU, for wrong reason?

David fetched me at LT 23 and we walked to his temporary lab. I was introduced to his colleague.He was very friendly and helpful.It takes no effort for me to warm up and ask him questions. During the 1hr (or less)session, I learnt quite a lot from him. I was very grateful and appreciated his help. At least I understand his accent of English.I went To YMCA Orchard to do some reading up before i went to Yio Chu Kang stadium for my running session. Today I was proud of myself. I ran around the track for 8 rounds non-stop. Yes, NON-stop.Maybe I need music to stay motivated.

I went back home, start to sms and icq everyone to vote for me, desperately.Somehow, I managed to keep up with old friends.Somehoww I missed them.I never realised that they can be so helpful and supportive, leaving me touched and almost in tears ( I just exagerrating ).Evarn, Ellie, Cheryl, Ming wei, ricky, sinwei and others are few need mentioning. These people who painted parts of my life with colours, positive ones.Life seems getting better.

i decided to stay late to watch closing ceremony of Euro cup and of course much anticipated final match: Portugal and Greece. Nelly Furtado was singing Euro theme song.Not impressive.Frankly, I did not even watch soccer match at all because I found it waste of time watching 22 men chasing one ball.People said that they could pick some skills from their beloved players to be implemented on the field.BullShit! Whether you can dribble, tackle, snatch and kick the ball well, it depends on your team player and individualistic stamina.I played soccer too, usually became goalie.I hated that position because it was a stressful position.Too bad,or good, I was the tallest.They use my height to their advantage.Hey, I could run faster too.

Somehow I lost interest watching those men in jersey.Nothing appeals and I just waited for the score and replays.I bet for Portugal.Suddenly when I started to get dozed off, Greece scored one.It was quite a good heading though.I could bear anymore, but ended up sleeping. I read the news, informing that Greece won the Euro Cup against Portugal, the host. It means I did not miss anything at all.:P

I went to school early today, although it was really torturous to wake up that early since I slept at 4am.My researcher was surpised to see me come early.I did my stuff and something problem with my project again.he went back to office and told me if i have any problem, just email him.I had lunch at canteen B as usual.I always ordered the same things - potatoes, hotdogs and egg. Then I just chilled out at canteen B awhile with my ibook. After I continued my lab experiment and asked for David's help regarding my project since he also doing similar project for his Masters. My researcher ask me about my progress and I told him about my problems.I started suggesting what can be done about improving or even getting the solution.

I went to the toilet and bumped into Hung Yong.I was quite surpised to see him here. So many things to catch up with him. After I switched off my auto-lab, He and I went to Admin Annex, for me to inform him about my extension of stay in NTU and he collected the yearbook.We went to the Canteen A to chit-chat a while. He just back from overseas again.No wonder Bee lan could get hold of him.I always the bad guy whenever I was with him.bad guy can be attractive right. Today, there was so many Orientation activities around the campus.I quickly rushed to the lab, packed up and went back home with Hung Yong. Somehow, he was also felt pressurized regarding his future.

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	7
your best quality is	your style
your worst quality is	you think people judge you
this is because	Of the people you hang around
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

I went to the YMCA Orchard, ordered Spicy Chicken meal that cost me $6.30. Did some reading up about my project since my Professor would be coming to NTU this week and sure there would be session which I was not really wanted to attend.Worries aside.I went to HMV,looking for soul and jazz album.

My Playlist
1. Amel Larrieux
2. Gladys Knight
3. Destiny's Child
4. Whitney Houston
5. Kelly Clarkson
6. Christina Aguilera

These singers had displayed their own styles of soul in the music.

I went to jelita, passed the Tamyra Gray CD to him and went back home.Not a fruitful Sunday, though.

Somewhere Barbara Streisand
Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
Will find a way of forgiving
Somewhere...
There's a place for us
Somewhere a place for us
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere
There's a time for us
Someday there'll be a time for us
Time together and time to spare
Time to learn, time to care
Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
Will find there's a way of forgiving
Somewhere... Somewhere... Somewhere...
There's a place for us
A time and a place for us
Hold my hand and we're half way there
hold my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow...
Someday, somewhere..

Your soul is WILLFUL. You are determined and a
little reckless, and you do whatever you want
to do. You have strong opinions and are not
easily swayed, and your headstrong resolve is
not easily countered. You have few regrets.
People find your refusal to go down without a
fight formidable, and they respect you for it.
You are a proud and content soul.


What Is Your Soul's Trait?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was quite excited today because I was going to meet beautiful strangers later.I tried to curl my long hair up for an hour before I headed to Chinatown around 5pm.It was quite early so I had my early dinner at Burger King at Pearl Centre.I kept talking to Terence on phone while munching my whopper meal that cost only $3.90.I was quite nervous though.I purposely came later, 15 mins later;Still chatting with Terence when I bumped into the chosen ones.Oh my God! They looked at me like one kind. I reached there with beads of sweat as if I ran there.I was late! I managed to mingle with the management before joining the rest of the guys.At least I knew one of them.The guys were much better looking than they were in picture, so well-built, good looking and stylish.I felt so threatened. i thought I was the better looking reject.I was wrong.So competitive!

Then after selecting the clothes that would be worn on that day ( guess the colour of the tee ), we went to the nearby coffee stall to have a light dinner for those who did not eat yet and for me, just a green tea.The guys and i warmed up a bit by talking about my N-gage.Bleah!Anyway, they were so friendly and never put on airs. We went to Oriental Plaza for the practise.The rehearsal was situated at 5678 dance studio.We saw those selected ones there.I felt so despised and rejected.They did not even look good, compared to those not being selected.Worse, they gave there kind of attitude that tell everyone that they were the hottest dudes and babes around.PUKES!!There were barriers between us and them. Politics still play in any pageants and yet i still not learnt my lesson.I seriously did not know why I must go for this session since I was not being selected.Terence even told me that it was definite waste of time going there, since I would not get any recognization.He even anticipated that some would not come today.It was true. Four guys and three girls were not turned up. For me, I was just being sporting and had positive attitude towards the failure.Anyway, i got to know good looking crowd. I got close with the two tall guys, one of them look like me ( according to Terence).True, we were the only three guys who were tall.Proud, maybe.

Then we waited for the selected ones finish their parts which took like more NG takes.Stupid or what or the instructor (Shukur) was just being perfectionist.Then our turn and I was not even excited because i was afraid of the instructor.My tall friend and I were positioned behind and later changed to be in front of the selected ones.It means I had to be at best because I would be facing the crowd, hopefully not being blocked by those jerks.I hated when the instructor say I walked like a duck and slouch like hunchback of notre dame,Everyone was laughing.EVERYONE.Why he picked on me?I was always got bitched anywhere. Gosh! Stop observing me, faggot. Should I blamed myself for being charming? *PUKES* Anyway such contructive comments, I took it with positive attitude and learnt the mistake.Actually I want to tell him that, since young I always walked with my foot pointed outward as if like a duck;Not beacuse I had big thang,just a habit.Now you know why i cannot make it to runaway. Worse, he asked one guy to do demonstration on how to walk properly. YAWN! Esjay, No bitching please.

The thingy ended early, so some of us decided to go to city hall BK to eat , but it closed at 10pm. So we went to the Long John Silver at Capitol, but it was closed too at 10pm.My tall friend, one guy and I walked to S11 , BUT it was closed for renovation.We ended up at le Meriden open space near Old Chang Kee to have supper.I was very happy to chill out with them.They were so fun and funny.I just felt so at ease, being myself.We all had Fried Kway Teow with oyster and it sucked. We chatted a while.Around 1, I went back home with this Nanyang Polytechnic Undergrad girl by taxi.She insisted on giving me a treat for cab fare but I insisted on sharing the afre which i would pay her later on wednesday.Today is such a beautiful day because I hanged out with beautiful people. I hope I could keep the friendships from there.God Bless!

You are an SECL--Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a politician. You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy.

At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda--including time to yourself.

You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting.

You are very difficult to dislike.

Try this

I just did not feel like going to school today.I really needed a break from the lab but then I need to book the equipment or else I could not get to do my project.I took a taxi to NTU and rushed to Lab, realising that my supervisor booked the equipment.I was quite unsure whether he booked for me or him.I combed the whole place, did not find him too.So I just went to the canteen B , by a long way so as to avoid those stretch of vendors promoting the graduation album and plague, outside Nanyang Auditorium. I received an sms from someone.

Yeah, the sms from a very special friend.It was Bee Lan.Words can be very self-healing when they were used properly.She was sweet enough to sms me about my well-being when she read my blog.Somehow , I could easily smile.Of course beside Denyse who message through the tagboard.I began to accept whatever past i had been undergone.

I went to YMCA McDonald to do some planning for the month of july.I just had a large ice lemon tea and medium fries.After finish my planning and reading up.I went to the north for a run. Yeah! I looked quite unkempt and tired.Seriously, I could not be bothered with my appearance.Why must I put on a mask whenever i went out?Why I must please everyone on the street?Why Must I be not myself when I was out of the house?I changed into my running attire when i bumped into a friend who also went for a jog.

Today I felt so happy as I accomplished one hard task ( for me).I jogged for 8 rounds on the track almost on-stop.I did some crunch before i end my session.When I put down and unpacked my stuff, I heard someone called me.I turned my head and saw my friend waved at me NAKED.He just stepped out of shower, probably.He asked me to come over while he dried himself with towel.Funny situation.Wasn't it awkward to see him when he had shared private side of himself to me?How can I handle myself.I even couldnot help myself looking at him.Admiration.Envy.Sleazy?Never.It seems no big deal to him.But of course, I just excuse myself not to go over there until he was putting on the clothes.Of course, I did shower naked, even with friends during national service where there was no choices at all.But when we were back to civilisation ( I mean after national service) We were given a privacy , somehow a privilege not to expose ourself to the public unless you love voyuerism or you were exhibitionist.

I went back home at 9pm.Had my dinner and i felt a little better.Not because I saw my friend's big dick but because there are friends like Bee lan, Denyse , Kai Ling and Lily or even Alex and terence show some concern about me.

Smile By Nat Cole
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Brand New Month and I hope it is getting better.And there wasn't a damned thing I could do.Just another thing to chalk up on the list of reasons the universe owes me one. I'm not playing the victim card or anything like that, but there are some events that happen in a person's life that require that someone somewhere give an answer why.

I'm living my life one day at a time