Sunday, October 31, 2004

Happy HaloWeen

Halloween is an annual celebration, but just what is it actually a celebration of? And how did this peculiar custom originate? Is it, as some claim, a kind of demon worship? Or is it just a harmless vestige of some ancient pagan ritual?

The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31. The holiday was called Samhain (sow-en), the Celtic New year.

One story says that, on that day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the preceding year would come back in search of living bodies to possess for the next year. It was believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believed all laws of space and time were suspended during this time, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with the living.

Naturally, the still-living did not want to be possessed. So on the night of October 31, villagers would extinguish the fires in their homes, to make them cold and undesirable. They would then dress up in all manner of ghoulish costumes and noisily paraded around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible in order to frighten away spirits looking for bodies to possess.

Probably a better explanation of why the Celts extinguished their fires was not to discourage spirit possession, but so that all the Celtic tribes could relight their fires from a common source, the Druidic fire that was kept burning in the Middle of Ireland, at Usinach.

Some accounts tell of how the Celts would burn someone at the stake who was thought to have already been possessed, as sort of a lesson to the spirits. Other accounts of Celtic history debunk these stories as myth.

The Romans adopted the Celtic practices as their own. But in the first century AD, Samhain was assimilated into celebrations of some of the other Roman traditions that took place in October, such as their day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple, which might explain the origin of our modern tradition of bobbing for apples on Halloween.

The thrust of the practices also changed over time to become more ritualized. As belief in spirit possession waned, the practice of dressing up like hobgoblins, ghosts, and witches took on a more ceremonial role.

The custom of Halloween was brought to America in the 1840's by Irish immigrants fleeing their country's potato famine. At that time, the favorite pranks in New England included tipping over outhouses and unhinging fence gates.

The custom of trick-or-treating is thought to have originated not with the Irish Celts, but with a ninth-century European custom called souling. On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes," made out of square pieces of bread with currants. The more soul cakes the beggars would receive, the more prayers they would promise to say on behalf of the dead relatives of the donors. At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in limbo for a time after death, and that prayer, even by strangers, could expedite a soul's passage to heaven.

The Jack-o-lantern custom probably comes from Irish folklore. As the tale is told, a man named Jack, who was notorious as a drunkard and trickster, tricked Satan into climbing a tree. Jack then carved an image of a cross in the tree's trunk, trapping the devil up the tree. Jack made a deal with the devil that, if he would never tempt him again, he would promise to let him down the tree.

According to the folk tale, after Jack died, he was denied entrance to Heaven because of his evil ways, but he was also denied access to Hell because he had tricked the devil. Instead, the devil gave him a single ember to light his way through the frigid darkness. The ember was placed inside a hollowed-out turnip to keep it glowing longer.

The Irish used turnips as their "Jack's lanterns" originally. But when the immigrants came to America, they found that pumpkins were far more plentiful than turnips. So the Jack-O-Lantern in America was a hollowed-out pumpkin, lit with an ember.

So, although some cults may have adopted Halloween as their favorite "holiday," the day itself did not grow out of evil practices. It grew out of the rituals of Celts celebrating a new year, and out of Medieval prayer rituals of Europeans. And today, even many churches have Halloween parties or pumpkin carving events for the kids. After all, the day itself is only as evil as one cares to make it.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Born to try

Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love

All that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture


And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

All that you see is me
All I truly believe
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try

I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try





You Are a Snarky Blogger!



You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!


Friday, October 29, 2004

Under Attack By Queen

Yes, I was under attack again by queenies, no.... by one silly queen. No (fake )names were being mentioned. Yes, My blog would not be smeared with dirty words or rather some fool(s) who abuse the beauty of then words/names. I seriously did not mind a foreign blogger came and visit and made such ridiculous remarks about me by just reading my entries. At the moment, I still not yet encountered one but of course I was not anticipate to come across such people. But someone from Singapore( can tell from the broadband with big S )came and make grand entrance a queen of the night, read my blog line by line and then amused ITself by writing nonsense. Yawns!

Now, I was a bit sensible enough not to close down my blog for one queen. I had been reading other people's journal ( livejournal to xanga to blogspot to upsaid ) and they did encounter the same experience as me, being assualted by anonymous fools. The only two methods of retaliation were 1) to counter-assualt them with intellgence because we have rights to fight against fools. 2) just make a online certificate dedicated to these people as token of appreciation for being faithful dogs..i mean visitors. I would choose former because I had no time to make mushy webpage for them. Maybe only to this queen.Welcome aboard.

And if the assault was being continued by one stalker made from hell, I would treat this case as online harassment and bring upon the authorities to settle. This time, I wont delete any comments. I guessed everyone would look forward to see this 'fan' of mine, including me. Yes ! Yes ! Yes! Thanks again for showing interest in me. I shouldn't be complaining.

[to Queen] I've got a big ANIMAL crush on you! Suck on THAT! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!




Dedicated to the only fan made from hell



Thursday, October 28, 2004

Busy, boring, ugly me

This morning, it was raining and I was half-dead actually. After being awaken by my mum, I would sleepwalked to my parents bedroom and continue my sleep there. I did not have nice bed in my room,just a flat mattress to sleep on. The watch showed 8.30am and I had only 15 minutes for my lab session. It was tough to wake up when the weather was such a cool and beautiful. I wore the horrible tee , concealed with my ugliest sweater and took bus to school. I managed to finish my experiment which of course took about 3 hour to get few graphs. I went to the library, printed some ten years series.

I bumped into Ridz who also printed some ten years series notes for himself. Actually I was really very tired and sleepy. I ahd not been sleeping regualrly for three days. Frankly, I ha donly 2 hour sleep. The rest of time spent on revision, FYP and worries. I need a little break, hence I went back home earlier today. I walked to the bus -stp near Ridz's Hostel. Yes, He stayed in hall 2.Lucky guy. On the way there, I seemed to be so talkative and just had a long converstaion with him under any topic from stale curry puff to whoever mentioned. It was like a relaxation therapy for me because I had never long, happy conversation with anyone since Saturday. Ridz was such sincere guy, the only one who can really listen to my bullshit. yes, LISTEN to my bullshit. I went back home and slept.

After watching Singapore Idol, I drove back to NTU to continue my FYP report, which I thought was not that productive at all. I guessed I needed to email to my supervisor to delay my submission to monday, just like my other friends.And I also wore the sweater bought by my mum, And it was green in colour. Coincidentally, it was my favourite colour. It was thick enough to act as insulator against Library air con at full blast. Ain't she so sweet to understand me, coincidentally?




A bit big for me but heck care, i am gonna wear the love from my mum




I went to canteen B to continue my task. This time , the canteen B was really full0house, almost. I saw someone who really spolit my mood to study there. I really need anyone, someone to do revision together , serious. At 1245pm, excercise cut. I drove back home , listening to my Alicia Keyes songs. I saw Ming Hui jogging at along the road. But of course I was not that lame to stop and say hi. I just continue driving home.

Too bad, there was not empty lot hence I needed to park at Mulitistorey carpark. I did some reading after putting the Clinique emergency cleansing mask. Yes, I was a vain guy ..... vain and stingy guy. I secrectly use that mask which cost like $45 belong to my sis. I mean those expensive product worked wonders, always. I felt that my face felt so refreshing and less tense. ok, whatever. I still need to take care of my appearance and bods . Talking about the Bod, I slacked like no business. No time. Argh. I did not want to look like Panda Bear - fat and had a extreme, incurable black eye circle.




preparation for halloween party.







Gross looking Panda



Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Boredom




We were at the pizza restaurant where most of the WAITERS were very pretty




I MISS BANGKOK



Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

January
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking andproductive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.

Everything is SO true except the one I striked off.I 'm lousy with money saving

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Lonely

I went to school to study, and now canteen B was filled with more students mugging for exam less than 1 week from now. I still had not finish my project and I was getting worried. However, it could be therapautic to drive at night, a silent night actually with your favourite sentimental songs playing on air. Peaceful, quiet and feeling of being loneliness can be so intense actually at night. Am I seeking for love now? Anyway It did un-stress me on the way home.

And everytime I went back at 4am, I sure got one parking lot near my block. I found it strange but blessed as I did not need to drive again and park the car nearby. Usually, if I came back from school around 2- 3am , I sure could not find any empty lot. So i had to park my car at multiple-storey carpark which was a quite a distance from my block. It was just 4am that I would get one lot. Anyway, I just back from Petrol kiosk. I found myself new skill - pump petrol into my car. Yeah! Actually that skill was already imparted to me during my secondary school vacation, long time ago when I was a pump attendant. Just a vacation job. Now I was like some idiot, standing there waiting for non-existent pump attendant to pump petrol. I gave up and approached this Indian man to help me do the job. I am not Damsel nor in distress. I was just being goondu to really forget to pump petrol. And I was surpised that it was so easy. Damn!

I went back home, happily. I was more happier to be welcomed by my cat which give a stroke at my leg and gave a most beautiful purr.Time to sleep

Monday, October 25, 2004

Hard Day long

I woke up damn early to go to material lab to do my XRD analysis.I was patiently waited for the analysi to end until I was being interupted by sweet-looking girl. She asked for my permission to access the computer to retrieve some data, sayinng that it would not disrupt my experiment. Being ignorant, I just could not say no to the girl who wear Hello Kitty sweater. I waited long enough, till i sensed something wrong. She left and brought Mr Liang, the technician. yes, the analysis was halted and I wasted so much time waiting for him to do some amendments as well as helped that pitiful girl who forgot her file names . Gosh! I just smiled and smiled like some mr nice guy. Yes, Mr Liang said I was such a nice guy to let her do the stuff. I was actually cursed her like hell. I need to have that datas for my FYP. Once settled, she asked me what I might finish my project. Being mr nice guy, I said 12.45pm, according to the book. See you.

Then I spent whole afternoon, trying to figure out what the contents of my FYP report should be. I still had not done the results and discussion. I seriously lagged behind my revision, despite I had 6 subjects, which were not engineering-related but need so much memorizing. I still need to finish this report by wednesday to show it to my resercaher student. He know best on this subject.Yes I had only 1 week to first paper. I was going crazy and ugly

I went back to school at 8pm by car, to continue my fyp project at the library. The library was extremely cold at night and iw as shivering like hell. I drove to canteen 2, bought Nasi Lemak , drove back to canteen B, ate my supper and did some revision till 2am when i could not make it to stay any longer . My eyes just wanted to shut every seconds. On the way home, I was stopped by police at police stop near City Harvest Church. Yes, Police stop at Jurong West and at 2.45am. I gave that nsf policeman a what-you-want-and-check-faster-because-i-was-damn-tired look. He let me off.




Guess Who







Here are the clues




Try yourself and be an ICON

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Study, Study, Study

I study all night, I study all day, to clear the subjects I have to take
Ain't it sad
And still there never seems to be a single life left for me
That's too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a holiday
I wouldn't have to study at all, I'd fool around and have a ball

Study, study, study
Must be boring
In the student's world
Study, Study, Study
Always cloudy
In the student's world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could not do
If I had to study
It's a student's world

My Version of Money, money,money by ABBA.


Saturday, October 23, 2004

Creepes and Cream

I went back to school on weekend to rush up for my fyp draft. I was really clueless about doing it. I was worried since the due date was on 30th Oct. I even received a reply email from my supervisor to have a presentation between 15th to 17th Nov, still despite i had exam on last two days since 15th was holiday. I was damn pissed off.

I received a call from Lily whether I was free to meet up. I was a bit reluctant to travel far since I had so many things to do.But what the heck, I rushed back home, changed into proper attire and met Lily at City Link. Bee lan was at Bakerzine@Orchard with Hui Hui. Lily and I had a wide spread meal at Crepes and Creams, since she had $20 voucher. We ordered so much yet it cost about $17+ total.I enjoyed the calamri and the mango crepes with little bits of brownies.Bee Lan and Hui hui came and joined us. I introduced all of them with one another. We had good, hearty and funny conversation. I afraid lily might find it weird , I guessed she did enjoy herself too, hopefully.

Then we went to Market Place to buy drink.Instead, Bee Lan went to buy some flower teas for healt reasons, and Lily also bough a packet of Marigold tea. I wanted to buy one but I knew it was very expensive to buy such high-claas tea leaves.We walked to Esplanade. I bumped into Seong Wei and Bart one the way there. We did enjoyed few minutes of outdoor concert and watched a couple did some lindy hop. Nice moves! It started to get drizzling.Hence we decided to go back home. Lily caught a flu, then. It was a short meet-up but I enjoyed the company.

After that, I drove to school to do some revision ( stayed till 4am).




Me and three babes




Now, Bee Lan poked fun at me for having a BIG pimple on my face. I used to poked fun at her ...well... acne-proned face.But look at her, Not only all her scar and pimple were gone, she looked much younger than before. I mean she look like 21year old. Gosh! It must be SK2 she had been using.She was the spokewoman for SK2. I wondered if SK2 had same good effect on men. Argh! I must buy SK2 product! I looked like 35 year old now.

Friday, October 22, 2004

album




Me and three babes




I found a good inspiration.Pressure did motivate me to write something.I was actually writing about how all of these things affected me, or how I would like a reader out there somewhere to interpret my feelings. Time to polish my other talent in artistic view.I am good at potrait sketching too. Surpised?

TITLE: FIGHTER
1) Beautiful friend
2) Fighter
3) Nothing Special
4) Angel
5) Diary of Who
6) Sugar-coated
7) I ain't mean
8) In this life
9) Silent Night
10) Dark Brownie
11) Sunshine
12) Rise

I just did the new layout for Pheobe, and she liked it very much. I felt so talented in web-designing. of course I tried to master flash programming yet.I felt good to see my work display on her blog anyway. Thank you for appreaciation.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Reinvention

Reinvented


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Changes

Notice that my entries were short because I was so busy preparing for exam. I needed so much time to catch up whatever i lag behind. Plus to those friends of mine who were mugging for exam. Good luck! we would catch after that. And those who could not contact me through this blog because i closed the tagboard and comments, you can contact me through email or handphone. This was to prevent some irresponsible anonymous idiots from sabotaging my blog. So sorry.

Plus I had just create a blog meant for friends only. So i would create this blog as ghostly journal.

Those in NTU like Kailing, Ridz,Dave, Medallyn, Elaine, Bao, Nam, Collin, Shuyin, Imran, and those who know me; May you wish success for coming exam,

I felt like pressure cooker at high temp point.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Changes

Yes, I had been doing revision only at night from 10pm to 4am at canteen B. It did change my biological clock and body system. Hope I could adapt better. Canteen B been so crowded nowadays. Just one month and I could endure any further, with hope.

DREAMS

I WANT to be drama scripwriter
I WANT to musician , make music and beautiful lyrics
I WANT to be dancer
I WANT to be an actor
I WANT to spread love and happiness through my life experience
I WANT to be me..................................

Inspired!

Monday, October 18, 2004

weak as I feel

STRESS


Sunday, October 17, 2004

I never thought that people still won't let me off until they finally managed to push me off the cliff. I really begged..yes ..i am begging...just let me off and erase me TOTALLY in your life ( to whom it concerned ) and made a really total new zest of your life . I had already done that and I hope they SHOULD done that. Oh God, This really tested my faith.I am seriously disappointed.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Suddenly, I got this feeling of loneliness.And It is Saturday.Mixed feeling about being alone.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Sighs

People out there to ruin my reputation. I wasnot sure if my writeup was about him.I guessed he feels the tinge.Hope he would be more open minded as no name was being mentioned in the blog. Hope he show some respect for me, seriously I did put my trust in him all my secret and now he tried to publicise my secret in my blog. This is hurting. Would anyone would want to know such person. I guessed I might closed down my blog for a while or I just migrated to new one.




General Elective presentation and my group



Wednesday, October 13, 2004

People Just don't get it

I spent whole morning doing SEM, when I realised I did not set the imaging proper. I wasted one hour saving blurr images for my reports. After that, I spent my time updating my presentation plus doing some rough draft for FYP. I skipped almost every lecture just to finish up whatever backlog.I did not even go to gym today for a session withn Ming Hui. I was really damn pressurized.Luckily today, my GE tutor indirectly gave us some tips on which area to focus. At least one subject could be cleared. After that, I ahd hearty session with the guys to do trial run on the slide show.initially, I supposed to go to library to study but I gave up the idea and went back home

I went to my blog to see any latest updates. Yes! I did get several nasty comments again. To whoever or whatever,please, move on. Stop being a stalker who kept bothering me consistently. You're not worth my fan at all. Go and reflect on your shameless and childish actions. Does that hurt to see yourself on the mirror? Stop showing your ugliness on me. I was totally disgusted. On softer note, thank for keeping updated on my life. I am fine. Please get over me.Seriously,I had to put my tagboard on hold and plus keep deleting these cowards comments. Now my friends could not even messaged me through my blog due to irresponsible fools.

I could handle such criticism easily.if I could not handle these minor , lame criticism well, how would i manage to handle much tougher and meanest criticism in the future , especially in the corporate world. It' s jungle out there. Just a slight pinch, hurt a little and then carry on with life as I knew I had good friends, good family and myself around.

Plus, I heard from my friend that someone really said mean , real mean things about me from someone's blog. I guessed I knew who. He was really empathised with me for having such friends who really talked back behind me.I said it's ok. That made me noble enough as someone. Even people with big names such as Mandela, Mother Theresa, Jesus, Prophet Mohammad and Buddha had his/her own bitterness of life which they just swallowed with grace. At least, I knew they read my blog. I was such an aspiration for their verbal abuse. Creative huh. For me, I did not read such trashy blogs. Seriously, would anyone would read blogs/dailies whereby one was feeling so happy and full of praise of himself EVERYDAY but solely write craps about other poeple.Kudos to those people who were still not letting me go and used me as their punching abg for their self-esteem. Worse, mention people name and identity.Well-done. I could sue that person for slander. Maybe it is about time to call Martin who work under prestigious law firm in Singapore regarding the issue. Thanks for informing me about how ugly they can be to make themselve feel good.I WON't still read the trash. Phoebe, at last there are people who visit your blog out of curiosity.I felt good to make you famous like Vivian Hsu.

Anyway, I was not born yesterday. And I was not going to play detective to find these losers. Accept them with grace. Good Night.

Monday, October 11, 2004

What a fragile life

One of the obvious but often overlooked facts about life is that, at some point, we can likely expect to experience a significant loss. These losses are many and varied. My auntie just lost her son to cancer. I was sleeping at the hall, when i heard the phone ring twice. Vaguely, I heard my father picked up the phone and conversation was very tense. I realised My cousin had passed away.

Good men died young, according to my mum.My cousin was very devoted, filial son with a good wife and two young children who love God.Somehow,He just left life that.I think that's why the good are meant to go early - it's to teach us to cherish what we have and to cultivate the good in ourselves.I knew it must be hard for my auntie to accept the loss but being a religious lady and educated teacher, she believed this is just part and parcel of life. For sure, she would miss him very much. Mother's love.Pure.Beautiful.Endless.

This life is only a test or trial for everyone to show our own true nature it is only natural that we would accept death as not so much an ending to everything but more as a beginning of the final and lasting life in the Hereafter.

Those who are in search of truth, having open minds and hearts will recognize this as a message in truth and sincerity. Open our heart and our mind now and ask the Almighty to guide us now to His True Way. And then be ready to accept your true purpose in life. Hence, whoever sabotaged me through my blog should go and find his/her purpose in life rather than humiliated other people just to feel good.Make yourself worth and meaningful in otehr healthy activities.One never know when it would be your turn to meet the angel of death.

Today, monday blues seemed to be escalating when time went by. So busy. Studying whole morning for quiz later, ended up handing piece of paper with my name written ONLY. Then , I went to tutorial then I had my late lunch at 2.30pm before I started to go to material lab A to do SEM for less than two days. Then I met up with Collin and rest of guys for trial run of presentation ( GE ). Seriously, i did not prepare any script for the presentation.I was totally screwed up.I was the worst among the rest. Imran did very well. I rushed back home for tuition. Nothing to eat at home because my parent would be busy in the funeral. Life! When I can achieve my purpose?

"Superman" actor Christopher Reeves died Sunday of complications from an infection caused by a bedsore.He's only 52year old. Hence, there was no such thing named superman.


Sunday, October 10, 2004

Loser

I should thank people who stumbled upon my blog and read my dailies. But that does not mean one could really made the most nasty and mean comments about what and how I write. So what my english sucks big time! If you did not understand, DON'T READ IT. Just move on and carry one with life. Why kept abusing my blog again and again without leaving your identity.I was really pissed off. Those comment options were meant for people who can related to my daily event and wrote down how ther felt and maybe adviced and encouraged me.Definitely for some LOSER who just being beyond reason.

Hence I tend to delete all those bad karma because this is my blog and I had rights to bring positive sunshine in my blog.Stop acting as if you do know everything. but apparently not so.Gosh, there were so many people around this world.I would not feel vulnerable about it because I just could not satisfy the whole world.Yeah, I am such a guy of substance.

I felt bad when my kitty's blog was under attack by some loser or maybe one loser. It is bcause the way he commented was so similar to idiot who commented on my blog. Plus he apparently knew who she was by giving my blog link in the comments. 3-Dimensional Loser.Now he tried to make nasty comments on her other angel.This was so ridiculous. Plus it involved me.I just take out her blog from my links to prevent that 3D loser from abusing her. Mind you, she is very strong girl in character.

Anyway, I went to Tampines with my parents as they need to contribute the wedding cards to distant relatives. After round and round the Tampines area plus Pasir Ris area. I got to know Tampine roads very well. So those who lived somewhere, I could fetch them to go clubbing with me. During the visit, I got to know that my father had so many relative which I did not even aware of their existence. Too bad, I did not make a good expression because I was too tired.

Then we went to Tan Tock Seng Hospital to visit my cousin who was in critical condition. He really looked beyond recognization because he was really in bad shape.We were not that close but seeing my auntie hugging my mum who consoled her, was really made me moved to tears. Seriously, what happened if I was the one lying there. My mum would feel the same as her, I guessed all mum would feel the same. Plus, seeing her wife looking so tired and sad really made me think that life is really too short. He was just only a few years difference than me. I did not know how to console them. At least i made my presence there. I started thinking of death and my worth as a human before the Creator. I was such a sinful person who loved chasing the worldy possesion in this temporary World. May God bless him, and me! And May God bless my parents too.


Saturday, October 09, 2004

Cafe-hope

I went to school first to do some revision or else I would felt guilty later.Around 6pm, Bee lan called me the location and time to meet up but told her I might be late to wait for my sis so I could use the car. I left school at 6.30pm and waited for my sis until I realised she would be back before 10. I was pissed off because I should have stay at school longer to do my revision. I just watched TV while waiting for my sister to come back. Even Bee Lan wished to cancel the meeting as hung yong could only meet us late night while Hui hui was very tired. I was so dissapointed but still asked her to just hold on.

I managed to get the car at 9.50pm, I drove at 140km/h through PIE, exit to Steven Road and went a long way to reached to esplanade. I could not get the park as the esplanade park cost $4 ( so expensive). I called Bee lan to meet me outside the raffles City taxi stand. There were a concert by Tiger Beer at Padang, hence it was very difficult for me to find parking space.
I picked them up and decided to chill out t Boat Quay while waiting for Hung Yong.

I parked my car at Golden Shoe park and walked to TCC cafe beside McDonalds. The place was very nice and reminded me of some Art gallery. Plus so many gorgoues people hanged out here.Eventually all of us love dthis place and would make this place our meeting place. We went up to second storey, being welcomed by nice people, got a good spot and also a good bean bags to sit on. Coincidently, the colors of the bean bags matched our top. I order TCC capuccino, Hui Hui ordered tea while Bee lan ordered decaffeinetted Coffee, She just being discharged from hospital last week and she could not order those of high acidity. She also ordered some salad and of course I would not missed ordering BROWNIES. I love brownies. While waiting, they were getting bored.




TCC






McCafe




Hence, Hung Yong managed to reach here at 1230am when the upper storey was closing. We walked to the Golden Shoe Carpark and we went to East Coast Park to chill out. Yes, East coast park.Anyway, It was something new an different. How much i love to chill out at pub/club, I accept the new experience.Surpisingly, there was a major trafiic jam at PIE before paya Lebar rd exit at 1am. WASTE OF TIME. We managed to reach ECP and found the carpark space. We walked a bit towards the cafes. We walked around to find the good place to chill out after a visti to 7-eleven. At last, we settled for McCafe. It was my first time visit to cafe. We ordered some drinks and fries. We talked about UOC recap. We had so much laugh and fun while trying to recalled the past.
Sweet memories.There were students studying here. Then we walked by the beach and tried to think of new things to do

1) Rollerblading
2) Barbequeing
3) A visit to Chek JAwa at Pulau Ubin
4) Wakeboarding
5) Overseas trip
6) Hui hui's m,ini birthday bash




TCC




How much tired we were, we did not want to ean out meeting early. We decided to go to Changi Village to check out the transexual and the changi beach. Along the way, Bee lan told me about her friend's ghostly experience near Bedok camp.I decided to drive there and hoped to experience the ghost sighting. Well the place was quite deserted and dark but due to the time and most of us were tired. BEing a driver, I was quite tired too plus my contact lense giving me trouble. I missed the exit to Changi Village and ended up at Changi Airport. We reached there at 4am, parked my car at terminal 2.




McCafe





It was quite hilarious there as the path to the terminal 2 viewing mall was closed for contruction. We ended up walking , a very long path - quiet and errie - to the terminal 1. It was not that fun for me because I was very very tired. Then we took a rest a while at the foodcourt before going back to the carpark. This time, we walked outside the airport. But then we managed to get to spot terminal 2. Hence we walked there and found the place very familar.I told Bee lan that this spot was where we first meet up before going to Bangkok. Plus, seeinbg student staying late in BK to study, made me more guilty about my revision. Maybe I came here to study.Or perhaps not.




Changi Airport Scenes



I went to send my beloved girls back home, then Hung yong and managed to reach home at 6am. luckily my parents still aslept. What a day to enjoy with close friends and this time for cafe-hop, not club-hop




Friends Forever



Friday, October 08, 2004

Happy birthday, Kailing

Today, I met Kailing at Jurong Point around 7pm to give her a birthday treat, a belated one actually. Last year, I gave her a bouquet of flower but now, it would be nice if two of us to sit down and have a hearty conversation.Yes we did.I let her choose the location to have a dinner: Pizza Hut or Siam Kitchen. Well, I decided to choose Siam kitchen as I loved thai food.
I suggested the mee curry for her while I had thai char kuay tiao with gravy, squid salad plus we got a big deal that two dessert plus two ice lemon tea cost only $3.99.

We had so much things to say, including the comments made in my blog. From her, I gathered some information, interesting ones.Something fishy. Especially when some bugger made similar yet nasty comments on my friend's blog.I started becoming detective on who the cuprit. From I had known, these girls named Betty, Lindsey, DJ could either one person or some friends of some person. Worse, it had to be a guy. Such a coward to pretend to use girl name to hide his self-esteem and abuse me in words. No such girls who ever do that to bitch me directly.Kailing said that girl usually bitch behind people back, not directly. I laughed. I believed that girl usually did not make nasty comments at first visit to my blog. It must be a guy or even gay who apparently pissed of with my good worth as a person and then impose ur beliefs and values on me.But If u are not happy wif what u know, see, read and perceive - u still had no right to sabotage my personal blog.

Secondly, I gathered that it could be someone who know me as well as my friend. Those trashing aimed at me personal weakness which only certain people knew about it plus it was all in the past when I was still learning to attain a life. Seriously, these person/people really need to loosen themslves up or tried to make themselves less complicated.Luckily for me, I had real good friends who encouraged me to become someone I can respect and love myself.I was being defensive. Just dun got jealous of me for being bold and beautiful. I proud of myself being himbo,despite saying I was just too smart and good looking for that words. Unlike some cowards who did not even left their email add/personal homepage and stay being anonymous , that did not impress me much. Only real people who visit my blog would leave their form of contacts behind.

Anyway, thanks kailing for small investigation. We walked around the Jurong point to look for a stud but then my earlobe suddenly closed,too soon. Damn, It needed to be gunned again





Happy birthday Kailing




Then we took a bus 198 to accompany her during the journey home. We talked about UOC and hall 14 orientation camp plus the fun and companion. One question struck our mind, how we both know each other? I could not recall at all.Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAILING, MAY U SUCCEED IN EVERY VENTURE YOU TAKE.PS: Go and take QA as ur FYP as the lecturer saw ur potential and you should be proud of yourself.

I met Dennis later at Boat Quay, we had Indian Rojak as supper. Nice!


Thursday, October 07, 2004

Foolish Poeple

Let's get one thing straight: Forgiving is not something you do for someone else. It is not even something you do because you SHOULD, according to the standards of religious belief or human decency. Forgiving is something that you do for yourself. It is one way of becoming the person you were created to be--and fulfilling God's dream of you is the only way to true wholeness and happiness. You NEED to forgive so that you can move forward with life. An unforgiven injury binds you to a time and place someone else has chosen; it holds you trapped in a past moment and in old feelings. Apparently, there were people who just could not accept reality and then came to my blog and sabotaged it with nasty comments.

The guru said ear in and ear out and don't bother to defend yourself against those who did not know u well.It's hard to swallow at first when there were people who had problem with me.It's difficult to stay objective about these people. Sometimes I feel they're prick in balloon factory. But at the same time, they can also offer helpful suggestions. The most unaccepting task was learning to separate the good from the bad. The only consolation was that I learn a little more about myself in the process.Maybe, I also passed quick opinions on what other people do or say, but I was aghast to learn I was the butt of somebody else's criticism. However, those comments were not meant to help me improve myself, but aimed to destroy my integrity.

Eversince I had found inner peace within myself after getting rid of certain toxic people, somehow I receives so many weird and horrible comments and remarks from many strangers.They may say what ever they will, but I would not let their criticism deter me from writing my blog. I ONLY accept criticism only from people who had something to gain from his success as well as good friends.It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough through the blog, society will take full responsibility for me.I was pleased there are strangers who were curious about myself.For right now, that is my business, not theirs.Seriously, either these people had been jobless for a long time or those who take modules less than five had so much time to visit myself and being nasty. If they thought that their opinions needed to be heard and seen on my blogs, I also had right to protect myself from people who made themselves so small.

It was kind of irk , more than hurt actually because I had wrestled with my own conscience, after that I had consulted my own convictions, and after that I have made my decisions, hence their judgment will not matter much.An anonymous saying is, "If you don't want to be criticized, don't do anything, don't say anything and don't be anything. Don't be afraid of failing; it is the way you learn to do things right. Don't be afraid of falling down; just keep getting up. And don't wait for everybody to come along to get something done. It's always a few people who get things done and keep things going.

I won't never give up. I don't care how hard it gets, and it will get very hard sometimes.I would continued writing my blog, as it is my personal treasure.

Harriet Beecher Stowe said, "When you get into a tight place and you think that everything goes against you until it seems that you can't have another minute, never give up then, for that is just the place and the time when you will see the tide turn.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Nice feeling

I went to tan at Clementi pool.The weather was not that good even though I went there around 12.30pm. But i was really enjoyed my tan because time taken to get a golden tan is long and I did not have much time to stay idle at the pool.I left around 2pm, as the cloud started to group and blocked the sunlight. I wnet back to NTU for my gym session.Ming hui was there so I managed to get him to train and spot me in my gym session. His bod was getting better and bigger. He still managed to get toned.Envy! I left earlier than him because I need to attend my GE class.

After GE lesson, I went to canteen A to have my first McDonalds meal. The canteen was very packed with students. I stay late since the library closed at 11.30pm. Exam period!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Weird

Somehow today I realised I could not understand women's behaviour. It can be so frustrating and volatile. Women's brains process and interpret things and then feed the information back to the woman in the form of pure emotion.They still got issues, about me.

I am not grumble and whine about women being irrational and moody. I believed that many women will be so surprised that I bothered to ask( which I would not), that they'll forget their anger (or whatever) and tell you honestly. And if they don't, or if there wasn't a misunderstanding at all and she's just looney.Please, whoever idiot claimed that I am woman-hater, please be more open-minded rather than trusting your own judgement.

Often, the stronger a man feels about something, the more a woman wants to change it. It's a natural power thing. How much can she manipulate him and make him do what she wants him to do, or be what she wants him to be, all of which will - in her mind - give her what she wants to feel/believe/be for herself. This happened few days ago.I was powerless.Hence today the girl tend to very nice to me - eye contact, sweet conversation, smile and modesty. I found it very weird, unreal. It freaked me out in instant. Is this a strategy? It's human nature when one is being nice to you, eventually We cool down and started being nice to them back. Gosh! I felt so humane again. Damn it! I made a mistake for not being hot-headed and checked every details of the report especially that bitch's part of report. But then, I could not be bothered much anyway.I did my part with my best and let them settled report by themselves.Eventually, I would stated what would happen between m and them in my logbook. This is called indirect bitching.I would mention more those who spoke like they knew everything apparently.

HEnce, please don't use emotion to influence me as emotion is flawed and is often a inaccurate interpreter.

"We tend to judge others by their behaviors and ourselves by our intentions."
-- Stephen Covey

Monday, October 04, 2004

Stress Level up

Today, I woke up damn early , trying to finish up the presentation for GP09. Seriously I totally made myself busy, trying to make the presentation to almost perfection.Sometimes, I hated myself being perfectionist. Seriously it took most of my time and life eventually.

Yes, today I wore the new berm but suddenly the size was so big that I was constantly pull up the berm, worried that it might just drop down. I was not wearing any CK or BODS briefs morever. Nothing much interesting but slogging away doing all the stuff needed to be cleared.I had still not finished my logbook and FYP drafting. About four more weeks to exam,Fortunately, I had short hairstyle so I felt light-headed and the attack of the headache would be minimised.. I had my lunch at canteen B and then returned to library, waiting for the nasty girls to call me to meet up. I guessed no time to meet them and hence to cancel the appointment to tommorow,

I met Terence to return 3/4 of the debts and camera. Damn! I should not spend my money on that bermuda and paid him in full. Then I attended lecture which was really waste of time because I hatde that tutor's way of lecturing.He was like murmuring to himself. I felt so regret to attend his lecture as i could spend that time gymming. Worse, it slipped my mind to book the XRD equipment at material lab A.I realised I need my supervisor's authorized sign and can use the equipment in two weeks time. Stress level was up.





my ear stud,my bermudas, new hairstyle, tee bough during army open house, yellow ribbon and my horny cat




I loved the yellow ribbon which I got from lily. It was yellow ribbon project about giving support to ex-offender to have a second chance to society.But yet, i still did not wear it when i was outside. Perhaps tommorow.

Tie A Yellow Ribbon ('Round The Ole Oak Tree) -Tony Orlando & Dawn

I'm comin' home, I've done my time
Now I've got to know what is and isn't mine
If you received my letter telling you I'd soon be free
Then you'll know just what to do
If you still want me
If you still want me

Whoa, tie a yellow ribbon 'round the ole oak tree
It's been three long years
Do ya still want me (still want me)
If I don't see a ribbon 'round the ole oak tree
I'll stay on the bus
Forget about us
Put the blame on me
If I don't see a yellow ribbon 'round the ole oak tree

Bus driver, please look for me
'cause I couldn't bear to see what I might see
I'm really still in prison
And my love, she holds the key
A simple yellow ribbon's what I need to set me free
I wrote and told her please

Whoa, tie a yellow ribbon 'round the ole oak tree
It's been three long years
Do ya still want me (still want me)
If I don't see a ribbon 'round the ole oak tree
I'll stay on the bus
Forget about us
Put the blame on me
If I don't see a yellow ribbon 'round the ole oak tree

---- Instrumental Interlude ----

Now the whole damned bus is cheerin'
And I can't believe I see
A hundred yellow ribbons 'round the ole oak tree

I'm comin' home, mmm, mmm



Sunday, October 03, 2004

Rebel

I met Lily at lavender MRT station, and she was going to introduce her new netfriend, Alvin.A decent and quiet guy. We walked to the same place to buy our same stuff. Lily bought her commando black tee while Alvin bought army stuff. As for me, I tried ahrd to resist the temptation to buy more clothes. Thank God, the auntie remembered us. Seems like most the shop vendors knew us or rather lily. At last, I got myself floral bermuda cost $25.Lily said it looked on me. I seriously gave up and bought it.

After that, we went down to have a drink since the weather was really warm.Went to the same drink stall, but ordered different drinks. Alvin's been quiet again. Well, I was not surpised since it was his first time meeting us. Then I suggested to have early dinner or late lunch at bugis. But we saw the coffeeshop was closed hence we alighted at Orchard Rd when It started to pour. Lily spotted Douglas O at takashimaya. While waiting for lily, I managed to strike conversation with Alvin. He told me that he was usually very quiet, somehow introverted. He also tended to get nervous. I was just try to make him feel comfortable with me as well as Lily. We walked to the Far East Plaza and had our meal at Magic Wok restaurant. I ordered mee goreng, Alvin ordered pineapple rice whereas lily order pad tai ( thai noodle).We chatted much durinng the lunch.

We got to know Alvin more closer.About him being unusually quiet, not liking green vegetables and his personality. lily said that it might the lack of self-confidence that may caused lily to be very quiet or maybe anti-social. Project! if we were to change Alvin to better and more self-cofident, didn't that make us fairy godpeople?I was more willing to change someone for better as it does make one happy if u helped other happy.Maybe what Alvin lacked is social self-confidence.

Social self confidence can be difficult to find sometimes because it is unclear what you are 'supposed to do'. In this event, concentrate on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:

find out if you like the other people present
make others feel comfortable
find out some information
make business contacts
and so on...

People are often most comfortable with others when working towards a common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making friends, the exchange of mutually beneficial information, expanding your knowledge of different types of people... it could be whatever you want it to be! The key is to have an aim.Somehow, one should not dwell much from the past. Just because one have felt bad about oneself in the past doesn't mean one are always going to feel that way.Plus being confident is not built overnight. I used to be very introverted duing my school days. I hated myself, I did not even dare look at my own reflection. Hence , having comb is more like uneccesary item for me. I could not be bothered whether my hair was messy. But of course, there was period when I really need self-esteem and self-confidence to survive. I paid high price for being over-confident now.

Anyway, after Alvin left us to meet his freind hougang, I asked lily to accompany me to heeren to do ear-piercing. Yes, I decided to do my ear being pierced. It cost only $3.90 plus free stud. I chose green stud earring. It was very embarassing when the girl tried to gunned. I hate mutilation of body. But, the pain was not tat bad, but I only worried my decision would cause wrath to my mum. lily told me that the hole would close back fast if I did not wear the stud for many days.

The feeling of having something on my earlobe is very weird. Regret?Maybe. I did not know at the moment. I felt good about being firm and decisive to get what I want, no matter it was bad or good. The feeling was extraordinary.Then I took bus home , hopeful that I reached home on time for tuition.Yes I did. Had a quick bite and I'm off to tuition.Hopefully their parents were not around.

After tuition, i decided to tell my mum about my piercing. Gosh, I could see disappointment and anger on her face. She scolded and despised those who wore earring.Plus it was against the religion. She asked me if i was not feeling shameful about it and how I was going to face when I grew older as the hole would stay permanent. I told her not. After nagging, she just gave up hope on me. I looked like hooligan now. Aiyah, she was worried about people said about her more than me. It's my life and I had rights to be what I wanted to be.I was sensible enough to know what's wrong or right. I just wanted to try anything new and adventurous. At least I did not tattooed myself.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Pheobe and her new angel

I went for the haircut today . My mum did not want to give me enough to go to hairdresser salon to do my haircut.hence I decided to go to Malay Barber and had a decent haircut like army guy.Yawns! I looked more neat and manly.No more long fringe or messy look. Just neat and acceptable. Even the barber bitched me that why i decided not to ahve funky hairstyle , not once , not twice but thrice.Of course, the final answer was I was going for reservist soon. Enough to end the conversation.I felt good when I had new hairstyle, always.

I heard from Pheobe that she had her own journal.I was quite thrilled to go and vist her online journal.Pheobe just found a new angel,David. Now She had three angel - I was the first one named as sweet angel, CK as second angel named as hunky angel and third one was David named as hottie angel. Seriously, i felt out of place when I saw their pictures. I meant Who I was compared with those models with models with nice bod, nice smile and nice abds.When Pheobe told me that David suggest three of us to meet up. I got freaked out. I did have inferiority complex.But then, everyone was like preparing to work out before three of us really met. We are such so vain guys. Anyway I knew where I stood.

Maybe every angels have their own specialities to shine in Phoebe's life. I was not sure how much I was really anticipate the meeting with them.Time to take serious effort to look and feel good now.Should I hire personal trainer to help me buff up my bod?

Friday, October 01, 2004

Betty Poo

My sister's wedding was coming soon yet I had not come up with proper guest list for her grand wedding. Worse, my mum was so pissed off when her friends as well as aunties of mine asked me whether I found myself a girlfriend. if not, they were going to introduce someone ( their friends' daughter ) to me.My mum's close friend wanted to recommend this only daughter of her friend to my mum, Then my mum was really can anticipate future like who I was going to stay with : my parents or hers since she is the only child,by right I should stay with her and made my mum feel so lonely.I was like...gosh! I had not graduated yet and not even started my career yet.How was I going to feed their daughter.I told my mum that I was fated to marry late and i had my wish to bring my parents around the world first before I had bigger responsibility.Enjoy while it last

plus, I hoped not to stay in Singapore, no matter how I loved the country. Materialism and selfishness were lingering around. I admitted to have such sense of belonging ( Money is so important in Singapore ) but would I go far to achieve my dream , my ambition or even my needs to be satisfied here? My dream was to run a restaurant or cafe; to serve people with my smiles and hard work. Future was really not quite bright at the end of tunnel.I still behaving like childish guy who think that parents could still provide me financial security.I really disappointed in myself, sometimes for being lousy son. Back to topic about Kuala Lumpur, i just hope to have friend in KL so that I could go there on weekend. I miss KL.Maybe I was not so suppressed there.I can be myself in Kl or even bangkok but not Orchard Rd. I hate materialism.




I LOVE AND MISS KUALA LUMPUR





Betty Who
Betty Boo just doin the poo
and you are oh
and there's nothing you can do

I'm NOT sorry if I upset ya
To get the better of me I wouldn't let ya
Any time of the day i'm gonna get ya
you come running to me yes I bet ya
Ain't going out like a sucker
No need to huff and puffa
Cause Baby I am tougher
Than you think, so you just gotta suffer

I'm NOT sorry if I upset ya
To get the better of me I wouldn't let ya
Any time of the day i'm gonna get ya
you come running to me yes I bet ya
Ain't going out like a sucker
No need to huff and puffa
Cause Baby I am tougher
Than you think, so you just gotta suffer

Betty Who
Betty Boo just doin the poo
and you are oh
and there's nothing you can do

LINKS

My chic clubmembers of sphere  Collection of 'Must-go' blogs! Check out my beautiful friends daily happenings in their own words


Other alter (ego) journal of mine      
Links that will take you to my other sites in virtual community and world

Beautiful bloggers I grooving on Collection of another `must-go'  blogs! The bloggers I have not meet yet ( And will do one day perhaps)  . they have interesting life. Do check out 

Blogs of Entertainments        Collection of another `must-go'  blogs! They make the blogging very entertaining and funny in their own personal touch.  

Link I often surf                                  Go figure! Links to other sites which  mostly had been bookmarked. List will continue to grow  

Media whoring session

Pictures Galore

Video Galore


Chat with me online
Only available at
10pm Singapore Time

Free Java Chat from Bravenet.com Free Java Chat from Bravenet.com

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from Esjay. Make your own badge here.

This is my Google PageRankâ„¢ - RankSE.com free service.

Who Links Here
online
now



Free Calendar from Bravenet.com Free Calendar from Bravenet.com

     

I am who I am

 

 

My guest List
I'm gonna show you that good guys don't always win, I'm gonna show you the brighter side of living in sin.So when you're six feet under, you won't wonder why, Just 'cause you got a halo don't mean that you can fly.If you thought it was over, you're way off track, You made a blunder, and...You put me back, back in business,This ain't no hit or miss, I'm gonna get my way.'Cause you put me back, back in business,You're my first witness, and I'm here to stay.I'm gonna show you good guys always finish lastSpeaking of virtue, being nice is a thing of the past.When I want something done, I'll say it with a gun.kJust 'cause you're an angel don't mean you're having fun..I just wanted to thank you for what you lack. Hope they don't hang you, 'cause...I'm coming back in style