end of february

Today is quite a fulfilling day actually. I attend lecture then Kailing and I meet Eileen at canteen A for a quick bite. Then we proceed to library to do our project. Surpisingly, the project we are going to do is similar to the sets of notes I get from Kailing who got from her friend who did that modules before.

The project will be a breeze. Thank god!

Then I spend most of my day doing my tutorial by myself as well as reading some articles on entrepeneurship and motivation. I really don't know why I need to read self-help article or books.

Someone's desire for self-improvement was actually motivated not by joy but guilt, the belief that one is not already worthy of happiness. I know I am trying hard to improve my life, and other aspect of life but maybe true happiness demns no self-improvement because happiness is freely available, always everywhere to everyone.

No amount of self-improvement can make up for a lack of self-acceptance

I shall start improving my self-acceptance: accept whom I am , being extraordinary guy...... That is damn egoistic.

Anyway, I meet up with lincoln at Admin Annex who is going to apply for the new degree at NTU. Then we walk to Canteen A to have a dinner. These few days, like I mentioned, I have a very small appetite nowadays. Good in the way I can achieve the greek bod fast but bad in the sense I am getting weak. I just have mee rebus because I afraid if I eat rice, I may get over-change and I don't have money to go home.Morever, it is raining heavily. I am so pathetic. I need a job desperately.

I take a train to City Hall and meet Tee before going to Cali for weigh-training session. Apparently, today we do not do any weight-training programme but instead we go and try out the power step class.

I am not that keen in joining the class. I am bad in motor co-ordination plus I always generalise those guys doing step as graceful men. Seriously, they really remind me of those fairy dancing around gracefully and beautifully, I mean how can a guy dance that way. And I am going to give a try. Shameless.

it is alright at first, trying hard to follow the fast steps the instructor do. I am not sure what I am doing but just following the motion of everyone do to avoid being odd one out. Halfway, Tee and I give up and just leave the studio. Good cardio workout but still I cannot accept the fact to see the guys prancing around like fairy. Just not right.

Then we leave the gym and go back home.My legs are tired.

Boring days

Nothing much today to write down but I go to King Albert Park McDonald to revise on M454 as well as M463. Doing tutorial without any aid is quite a stressful activity. But I must do my problems on my own then I know I can learn mistake from what i do.

I am not in usual self this few weeks. I felt so defeated, and so powerless. With so many hurdles to overcome, I'm too much work for some people. And some people just burn me out. Not too many friends. Love is so overrated. I have so many people to forgive and they do not appreciate to take inititative because it will give me more pride. I am nobody.No one to turn to.

What's the problem with me nowadays? I need to move on. February is not the nice month to remember actually. I hope for the best in coming month. I am glad I still continue writing my blog. I realise that my visitor rating is getting low because I seems to take long time to update my journal and people tend to give up visiting my blog.

Time to have a proper time management and update as much faster as ever. but no promise.

"Life Is Sweet" by Natalie Merchant

It's a pity
It's a crying shame
Who pulled you down again?
How painful it must be
To bruise so easily inside

It's a pity
It's a downright crime
But it happens all the time
You wanna stay little daddy's girl
Wanna hide from the vicious world outside

But don't cry
Know the tears'll do no good
So dry your eyes

Your daddy he's the iron man
A battleship wrecked on dry land
Your mama she's a bitter bride
She'll never be satisfied,
And you know
That's not right

But don't cry
Know the tears'll do no good
So dry your eyes

They told you life is hard
It's misery from the start
It's dull and slow and painful

I tell you life is sweet
In spite of the misery
There's so much more
Be grateful

Who do you believe?
Who will you listen to
Who will it be?
It's high time that you decide
In your own mind

Tried to comfort you
Tried to tell you to be patient
They are blind
They can't see

Fortune gonna come some day
All gonna fade away
Your daddy the war machine and
Your mama the long and suffering
Prisoner of what she can not see

They told you life is hard
It's misery from the start
It's dull and slow and painful

I tell you life is sweet
In spite of the misery
There's so much more
Be grateful

Who do you believe?
Who will you listen to
Who will it be?

It's high time you decide
It's time you make up your own sweet little mind

They told you life is long
Be thankful when it's done
Don't ask for more
You should be grateful

But I tell you life is short
Be thankful because before you know
It will be over

Cause life is sweet
And life is also very short
Your life is sweet

Clubbing

I spend my whole day at home today and it is quite surpising actually.

I do some spring cleaning for my room as well as clearing soem clothes whih i found either so ridiculous or super small in size. Nothing much to except do some reading on my lectures while waiting for Derek to call me to go out for clubbing.

I dress up and go to fetch him at Jurong West. At last I manage to get the cd I bought from him.Once reach there, getting a parking lot on saturday is really torturous. It is like a race for a first place. i drive all around trying to get a good lot and I find one.

It is actually parallel parking.

I hate parallel parking.No matter what I give a try and this time by my own. ok, i give up because there is so many incoming cars and plus I am abit phobic to hit the car in front and behind because I have serious bad of judgement at night. Then I decide to go for another round and waste petrol. Luckily I managed to get the lot.

I meet derek with his friends which i try to avoid. I am shy by nature or just being aloof. I just wait for them to finish their supper before going to club. Thanks to derek, I manage to get free entry. Hence the money will go to petrol.

Howl's Moving castle

Nothing much to do today actually but do some revision at YMCA McDonalds again. Before that, I have my lunch at Lucky plaza. I order Chicken curry set for only $2.50. Actually the set is quite nice but trying to slice the chicken meat with spoon and fork with force , the curry gravy come pouring on my pants.

It is total mess , seeing the whole table and floor , including my pants or course filled with the curry gravy. Despite being embarrased, I just act cool and continue eating. I use my towel to wipe off the curry on my hand, as I don't usually bring a packet of tissue with me. After that, I quickly dash to the exit, imagining that the cleaner may be cursing me for making such mess.

I take a bus to YMCA and do my revision, and still have that curry smell with me. Then I go back home by bus instead to change as Tee tell me that he has free ticket for Howl' Moving Castle at Plaza Singapura.

I quickly rush home and take mrt to Dhoby Ghaut and meet him outside Arcade. I am so tempted to play one game but then I afraid I may take some time to clear the stage. I am expert, ok.

Then I am being introduced to two friends of his before proceeding inside. We wait and wait and wait for the show to be started because we enter the cinema amn too early. It does not help me much when I am only clad in bermuda and singlet.It is so damn cold.

The show is very nice despite it is japanese animation ( I hate watching animation on cinema: waste money ). Even though it is children fantasy novel, It does touch on the adult's matters like sincere love and heart. What amaze me is this sentence : heart is nothing but a burden to human.

Anyway it is a good show with slight humour and lesson learnt.

Howl's Moving Castle is a children's fantasy novel, but one that self-consciously makes fun of the typical fantasy tropes. In the beginning, for instance, the novel matter-of-factly notes that Sophie Hatter, as the eldest of three daughters, is unlikely to achieve anything significant in the magic land of Ingary. Moreover, the novel helpfully adds, although Sophie's mother died young, and her father remarried, her stepmother Fanny turned out to be a wonderful woman who favored none of the children (even her own) but instead loved them all equally.

After that, we go back home by bus as it end at 11+. Nice to start the weekend.

Games

Actually today is my break from revision. I suppose to buy singlet for hang out sesion at Sunset Bay@Sentosa. I receive a call from Tee whether I can go gym early today. I agree.

I meet him at his house, welcome by his mother. Tee is still doing his mask. His room is so similar to mine, like a pigsty. Nothing surpised tos ee bachelor's pad this way.

We both play PS2 game for awhile before we head to Clinic. He need to get MC because today he does not go to work. After consultation, he curses the female doctor for being so rude and insensitive.

Then we take bus 7 and head to gym for weigh-training workout.

Teaching Career

The conversation with Brandon last time regarding about teaching career make think again whether I shall follow my sister's footstep to be a teacher.

The benefits outweigh so much than just a setback that tecahing is so routine career, hence boring. I do not know I cut to be one. I does not have a characteristic of a teacher - patience. Maybe I just give a try.

For sure, I can get to buy a car if I get into NIE. That motivate me to apply to be teacher, plus brandon tells me to opt for Physical Education Trainee. To earn while doing your hobbies. Very tempting though.

I hope to make a right choice. Almost I know are teachers and they are successful. good example, my sister. She almost buy branded stuff and keeps changing handphone plus she own a car. My younger sister is more successful than me. How degrading!

I need MONEY!

life coach

I need a life coach seriously. I am contemplating a big change and also want to make my current lives more satisfying,I hope life coaching can help them accomplish my goals more quickly.

My goals at the moment:
1) To graduate and get out of NTU
2) To get good bod
3) To speak chinese fluently
4) To look like UTT george.

To look like him

p

Hence, hard to find a friend who act like a coach, the one who can play any number of roles -- mentor, motivator, cheerleader, consultant.Maybe there is no free lunch in this world.I need a treatment for depression.

I need someone will help me stay focused on my ultimate objective, especially when I am in the middle of making difficult changes.But somehow my frien tells me that my goals are the one who leads me to depression. The goal is too much a burden to accomplish. Instead focus on the goals like

* Improve interviewing or managing skills
* Reduce stress and have more fun
* Live within a reasonable budget
* Institute a weight-loss or exercise regimen
* Get rid of clutter and simplify your life
* Learn how to say no
* Deal with common on-the-job challenges
* Become more spiritually connected

The goals above are actually the basic prequisite to be a better person but not someone who achieve for more and better. Anyway the setbacks I am facing, are treated as an adventure, an opportunity and a personal challenge.

If my attitude is hopeful and positive, and I am looking for the good, the chances of enjoying myself today are practically guaranteed.How optimistic!

Carpe Diem!

I realise end of friendship is a very painful process. I have so many people who called friend just come and go. making one is easy but maintaining it is like long term investment, similar to marriage. Ending friendship is also easy process.

When I fell down to bottomles spit, I find no one to help me to pull through or even help me to stand up again strong. People may think I have strong character but I am weak in emotion. I tend to be lost when I lose a friend.

When I need one, there is no one. Nobody wants to be lonely. When I need listening ears. I just cannot find anyoen suitable to listen to my woes.

Very depressing. But of course, I am still maintaining the look
of guy who always cheerful and positive in life. Guys tend to keep their woes to his heart and that is law of nature. I expect nothing much but to fix a broken heart.

Lost.Betrayal.Hurt.Pain.Insecurity.

I am just being insecure.I just neglect the frienship.

Blading

Today I woke damn early just to make a long trip to East Coast Park. I decide to take train there,stop at Bedok and then take a bus 196 from there. It will be my first time to wear spectacle and take a long trip to east. Anyway, i am not that conscious unlike previous years. I guess, when I age, I tend to be more pratical and wiser.

Once I reach the Marine Parade,It take time to search for the underpass because the place seems to be revamped into new housing estate.It has been a long time for me to come here by bus. Then I wait for them to come down. I realise I am EARLY. Then Hui Hui come , follow by Bee Lan who apparently take taxi here ebcause she oveslept just now and lastly Brandon. It is quite true about people saying that the nearer the destination, the later you come.

We have breakfast first and I introduce Brandon to Bee Lan who virtually cannot recall who brandon is. She is truly the reigning blur queen. Then we have so much fun talking about favourite person while having breakfast. Then we walk to nearby kiosk to try out roller blading. It is our virgin activity. But Brandon decides not to try roller blading but do some cycling.

Before roller-blading

I always have phobia of rollerblading that I may fall down badly. It is weird actually at first to roller blad but somehow I manage to pick up the skill fast. I do not that I have hidden talent in roller blading. But for the girls, with the help of Brandon, they also manage to try roller blading but as being amatuer. I also try out slowly and steadily. Of course I admire those people roller blading so swift and steady. But for us, we really look clumsy.

Brandon says: In rollerblading, we must learn to fall down and stand by own and that is how we learn to rollerbalding.

It is relevant somehow even in reality. Once fell down, learn to stand up strong and up. Back to the rollerblading, we go to some place where less pedesatrian to try out the level two. Somehow I got the fun of rollerblading and so do teh girls.But brandon does not even go cycling although he rent the bicycle. He apparently guide Hui Hui and also Bee lan to roller blade better.1 hour seems so short actually when we manage to get hold of roller blading.

Candid Shot done by Brandon

When we return, they are keen to take up the course provided by the kiosk. But it will be held in east coast parkw hich i think I am not that keen to take up one. While resting, there are so many posers blading in ECP. I guess it is a trend to be poser in ECP

Prequisite of poser.
Girls: Good figure, must wear cap and pony, tan with ipod and sunglass. Bikini clad and hot pants.
Guys: Nice bods, topless, carry haversack, shades and ipod.

Another Candid shots

Then we walk towards the new eating place near Bedok Jetty.The weather is quite warm actually yet we brave ouselves walking there. Once we reach tehre, we have sugarcane and ice kachang to cool down. Actually I am not in the mood to eat especially when the food I usually choose either spicy or hot stuff. I just order drink again while the three of them indulge in their food they order.

Then we walk back to the underpass which is believed to be spooky one. From there, we parted our own way but brandon will be follow me to book launch together with lily. We take bus 36 and the journey is quite fast actually. During the journey, Brandon and I have so much thing to say anything under the sun. I am quite surpised for people like him to be very informative and intelligent. Well, i am not surepised that why he take law course.

We wait for lily and introduce my pal to her. Then we walk to Le Meridien Hotel ,garden ballroom to attend the book launch. We are welcome by so many people dress in suit. How formal the launch is because brandon and I are not in right attire to attend the launch.

We are supposed to group in 5 and start introducing ourselves. Give me a break for such ice-breaking session. It is so lame activity for grown-up like us to eb force to mingle around by grouping. Three of us just stand there until being approached by the memebers themselves.

The launch cum some talk has started and I am going to meet one millionaire who is also apparently the author of the book " How to change your life in 5 days" . I know it is self-improvement but I am sucker for such books actually.Then here is the arrival of the millionaire who does not look like one.brandon and Lily are not that impressed actually.

During the talk, I admit that i do learn something from this man actually especially the hand movement. We never utilize the left brain fully : only 5%. Brandon keeps laughing during the talk.

There will be second talk but we decide to skip it beause it is already 5pm and the ballroom is damn cold. We bump into Ming wei, anothe rbuddy of mine. He looks damn suave in suit. I am surpised to see him here also but the millionaire actually his boss.

I ask Brandon why he laugh throughout the talk. He tells me that he pinpoint so many mistakes made by the speaker and he question the integrity of the speaker too. Knowing him being so informative about general knowledge, I am not surpised about the mistakes made.

We walk around, deciding where to chill out a while.Hence we chill out at TCC at cineleisure.Lily is quite bored actually because only two of us strike a conversation. I just manage to meet up with Brandon and there is a lot of catching up to do. But actually most of conversations is based on religion, politic and movies which he does not stop amazing me with his vast information of certain areas of politic. He also talk about Ali G talk show whic he recommends me to watch.

Then after out tea break, we part in our own ways. I decide to go gym for soem cardio session before going back home.

A very long and fulfilled day actually

With Ming wei and Lily

Stress

Today I am superstressed upon hearing the exam will be coming in 8 weeks time. Yet, i do not start any revision yet. I start to get worried actually.

Enough said. Lily is coming to NTU today. I wait for her at bus-stop for while and then we start to do some excursion. I am surpised that she dressed up in NTU. She ( and me too) sure get attention from the crowd.

We walkd to the Nanyang Auditorium to look out for the welfare friendship fest which apparently empty, to my disappointment. But there is soem consolation that, we managed to get free coffee, cup of popcorn and a stick of sugar floss.

NTU

Then we walk to canteen B for lily to see the place. Then I bring Lily to the highest point of NTU: Admin Annex. I bump into MingHui who looks quite tired and fatigue. It must be the tonnes of quiz coming up this week before next week recess break.

The highest point is quite cool and breezy actually. Then walk back to Canteen A to have a dinner. Lily has carving for chicken chop and she manage to order it which cost only $3 from western stall. before that she manage to buy blank CD cost only $27.Good bargain.

Then we walk to canteen 2 and lily is lamenting that there is no single hot, hunky guys around in NTU. The guys here are either short but hunky or just not hot enough. I tell her that those she categorise as hot and hunky will not stay in NTU at this time ( 5.30pm) . They either sleep in their hostel or participate in sport at SRC.

We hang out at Canteen 2 for while before taking a bus to town. We are ehading to cali gym for weigh-training session.

I feel quite weird to train with a girl becaus no guy will do that.It is really funny to see a girl support guy's weight.Just not a right picture.

Birthday

I go to collect the cake cost $35 at Pattisier. Then I take bus 32 to meet Tee at his working place so that we can go together to Tanjong Pagar road to meet up the rest.

First we meet up with Ernie nearby MRT before walking to Kin Thai restaurant. I saw Bradon and Jeffery and others who I do not know.the celebration is very subtle, just a gathering of close friends.

I am quite awkward among these people who know each other well. I just tag along to join the fun. The food are nice and spicy but the most nice of all is the birthday cake bought by Tee. Despite its small size, it taste delicious. People like me who hate cream and cake, indulge in it.

Then Tee's friend send me to clementi Central and from there I take a bus home

I have revision at YMCA for awhile. Then I meet up with Tee near his working place.Then we have dinner at clementi central.

Nothing much happen but to catch up with studies.I feel life has no meaning at all. I just feel empty suddenly. I feel afraid of future suddenly. I hate this kind of feeling.

Being a painter

I spend whole day , painting two rooms at my sis's new home at Woodlands. She decides to bring the cat to her future home. I love to observe the cat's behaviour while travelling in car. She is such adorable scary cat.

It is really my first time painting a house.Usually my father does the job while I am lazing around.However, i cannot expect my father to do such work as he is not that young anymore. Seeing my old folks helping out to paint, making me think twice to be lazy and not helping out. Hence, I just do extra hard so as to ease my parents' burden.

Painting is really not good and boring activity and I am not a good painter.I make a mess out of the room. Spill paint and mess around the room plus the whole body of mine covered with millions of drops of paints. The most fun of all is to wash the paint with thinner. It cool the skin and smell nice. No, I am not addicted to that spirit.

Inhaling such fume from that thinner can be addictive,We all know that such solvents are dangerous for their effects on the user’s liver, heart, and lungs. It is believed that solvents produce hallucinations by dissolving the cell membrane of brain cells, thus altering the way the cells conduct electrical impulses.

After that, my sis's hubby come back from work and now, I have to drive back home. I hate to drive because I thought I can just rest and enjoy the scenery back home. We go to old Taman Jurong to buy some dinner home. I have chicken rice and Hong Kong Mee while my father have his Fried chicken rice.

When I go back home, I realise that my chicken rice does not have chili sauce. What is chicken rice without chilli sauce, it is like a chicken without legs. Horrible. Don't expect me to eat it with commercial chilli sauce. I curse and curse while eating it.

Sick

I feel better today but the conversation with L on msn really irk me much. Words wag about me denying my own identity and not being true to my own real friends. I am getting boring and nothing much interesting about me he think of.

Roll eyes.

So what I have an incredible pretension. I would not go so far as to say it defines me well at this point in my life. The pretension is the outgrowth of me despising the superficiality in others.They can catch me for claiming me being this or that and I am just being pretending.I don't even think anyone is not tired of hearing me bitching about it. Pretending and Denying are two different words.

Deny: To refuse to recognize or acknowledge
Pretend:To claim or allege insincerely or falsely; profess

I do not know many people who choose to speak to other people in order to determine how smart that person is. This attitude is usually performed without any apology. Hence I just denying the identity to those who pretend to be somebody.

It can harsh to claim this as a lie but I guess it is how oen define the lie. Consciousness means that, at the time you decide to give false information, you know it and still do it anyway. Who cares.

I repeat again.I will not go far if I do not give a false and first impression of myself to strangers. Life works this way: People tends to see what they want to see hence give them what they want to see and know. Aftermath, we handle it using interpersonal skill - pretension. I do not have any moral qualms with pretending.

Life is a stage and we all are actors.

Honest assessment of myself and my surroundings will better allow me to make better decisions. As long I do not screw up anybody's life. One shall pass judgement about me. Being not true to my friends is really absurd statement.Anyway, it is best to just listen to their silly tone and compare it to mine.But I am getting better.

I am learning to recognize the egotism when it manifest itself in my own motivation to be recognized to superficial society. I am very upfront about it. So why bother with people who know how to twist word in the form of advices. I have reason to do so.

sick

Being sick is horrible.Horrible!I cannot begin to stand the pains of prolonged illness. I can barely tolerate short spells of illness with which I ahve forced to deal now. I am stubborn enough not to go for a visit to doctor last tuesday.

The day start to benign enough.

I just take some leftover pills I bought long time ago ,and I am not sure the expiry status of the medicines. At least it give me temporary relief to my illness.

When you are sick, the more closer you are to God. I can be so ungrateful when I only remember God when I am experiencing near-death illness but not when I am in pink of health. Tinge of regrets. Yes. I am losing myself. I hate it.

I start to think of my parents, my family, my friends and my relatives and mostly my life. Tears just flows from the sides of my eyes. Joking. I am such in pain and fatigue to think of all these craps except missing God. Maybe has better plan for me to get sick on this period.

Time to sleep and recuperate again.

CNY

Happy Lunar New Year to those who celebrate it as well as my friend who have been reading my blog.

Anyway, I still not feeling well but then I need to rest awhile because I am going to meet my F4 later for re-union. I donned my pink tee to mark the celebration of new year and travel to town by bus. It is kind of amazing to see Orchard Road to become a ghostown suddenly. There are like so few people, the shops are closed, most of lighting are closed. Only the first time to see busy Orchard Road to be so quiet.

I meet Hui Hui and Bee Lan at Centrepoint and then hung Yong come shortly. We chill out at Alley Bar . I order cranberry juice, while huihui, mango magarita, Beelan, lychee martini and hung yong, hoegarden. The place is so cold that we request to have the place change three time. Maybe I am not that feeling well. People in Alleybar are as good looking as us. lol

It has been a pleasant time to see Hung Yong again but then he gains weight. Anyway it is ok for guy to gain weigh but not a girl.I cannot imagine if Bee lan is to gain weight after the china trip. It can be scary. Anyway these two girls are losing or even maintaining their weight well.

While they are chatting about their overseas experiences, I cannot help but the tinge of envy for them. They have career, they have opprtunity and they have almost what they have. I sometimes feel disappointed with myself. I hate feeling like a loser who just never achieved anything. But of course sometimes I hardly listen to their conversation because I am quite lethargic today. Yes, I am extraordinarily quiet.

Hung yong bought for us the bangles from Shanghai. Three of us have similar ones except that mine is bigger beads. It is beautiful though. Despite being sick, I try hard to enjoy myself tonight with old buddies. Then after that, Hui Hui suggest to watch movie. I do not pay for the potato wedges as Hui Hui decide to pay for us. I feel more worse when hui hui keeps paying for us. I am so useless.

F4 again

We walk to Cineleisure and realise so many people appear after 11pm. I guess visiting is over at this time. We skip the movie screening because the seatings are terrible. Then we decide to play bowling until we realise the bowling alley is closed. Hence we decide to go TCC to chill out but then my health begins to deteriorate.

Suddenly something is in Hui Hui's mind. It is Bee Lan's birthday today. We are going to surpise her with blueberry cheesecake from TCC as a birthday cake. I am not aware that today is her birthday. And We manage to celebrate it together,again.

After that, we parted our own way.

Bee lan's simple birthday

CNY EVE

I spend whole day sleeping, recuperating my illness. I have terrible dry cough and flu. I am such a bad shape when I look at the mirror. I just cannot walk to my bathroom because I am super weak. I do not have any appetite at all. Sleep is the only activity I do whole day.

Being sick is really waste of time.

In evening, I feel slightly better but receive a call from L whether I am interested in going to Chinatown for countdown. I reject the idea because I am not feeling well and lastly I just back from Chinatown yesterday and I have been to Chinatown almost every week with different people.

I continue watching TV and wait for the countdown by Mediacorp TCS8. But then I am being disturbed again by L regarding my decision. We have conversation for while regarding his succesful entry to NTU. What make me pissed off that he hope that I will fail this semester again and accompany him for another semester. I am ok with him calling me loser but curse me to flunk just to entertain him for another semester. Get a grip. I am not in the mood to chat with him and the most polite to end the conversation is

" Anything more to say or are we going to have to wait for countdown to be over?"

When I am sick, I can be very grumpy and fouled up.Hence do not mess with me when I am down with illness.

Beginning of sickness

Today, I start feeling weak and tired.

I go for two hours of bodycombat this evening because I am desperately want to shed some extra fat on my waist.When I sit, my love handles are like splitting out of my tight jeans. The sight was not that favourable to anyone. I sacrifice my health for vanity.

1 hour of bodycombat is up and I am doing fine but halfway for second session. I cannot take it and collapse. I just sit awhile to avoid embarrassment and I do admit I am such a good actor to pretend that I am perfectly alright.

My whole body system has gone haywire. My legs are wobbly and my vision are getting blur. I guess I need a longer rest before I leave the gym but then I suppose to meet Tee and Ernie at Scotts. I walk slowly there and take a rest in between.

Then they suggest to go Chinatown. I am like huh but then I just follow them anyway. Chinatown is so crowded with last minute shoppers. There is some mediacorp rehearsal in progress opposite Lucky Chinatown. I just cannot understand the ruthless crowd plus I am not in the good well-being to walk around.

Down With Sickness

Today,I have been sleeping whole day, breaking my promise to help my sister to paint her new house at Woodlands. I have sore throat and dry cough.It really my hack my throat. And it is been like a week.

I guess it might be caused by irritation from cigarette smoke or perhaps environmental irritants.Hopefully it is not a chronic lung diseases.I guess the only thing to soothe my infection is to sleep well and longer

My idea to go california gym to do bodycombat with lily calls off because I afraid I can not take the intensity of the 1 hour non-stop workouts and just collapse.

Anyway, I receive a message from a best friend, Hung Yong. He is back from China for one week. I just cannot wait to see him again. Another re-union to be anticipated this holiday.

!st gathering

At TCC Boat Quay

At TCC Boat Quay

At TCC Boat Quay

New HairCut

It can be depressing to stick to same hairstyle for long. Having long hairstyle means high maintenance or else total mess. I browse the magazines for a while.

Should I go for japanese look or army look?

I empty my wallet and find only $10++ , guess I just go to barber shop for my haircut. Yeah. spike look. At least I look more younger and manly. Now next, should I go for highlight : blonde or brunnette.

No money, Just stick to black hair. I am so broke and boring person.

After that, I go and meet Tee at chinatown for while but I am so bored hence I just leave early for good sleep.

Lag4ever

I am such a slacker again. I wake up late. I suppose to do revision whole morning. I have a great lunch at home.Then I travel to YMCA, skipping my tutorial at 1.30pm.

Hopefully I can do some revision there but not.Instead I adjusting my 6 month goal plan.I like to plan as well as I can, but the simple truth is that I never know what tomorrow will hold. I keep making decisions in the absence of perfect information. I always have to change the plans on a dime.I can afford to make mistakes if we move quickly enough to fix our mistakes fast.

Surviving requires constant adjustment. Occasionally, this even means total abandonment of plans that are no longer relevant.Just adjust well.

This week,five people including those I have not meet for so long and those close to me say that I grow big, fatter, out-of-size. Truly demoralising.I guess I must been having late supper and then sleep. I need a ultimate goal to get the alomost perfect bod. At least I got myself a gym buddy at California fitness center. I just need to take care of my diet. Worse my gym blog contains cobweb. I really wonder where I can get a proper motivation.

One cannot achieve a goal unless you know exactly it is you want. Visualization is the tool you use to focus your picture so that you waste no time taking actions
move you in the wrong direction. It helps you increase desire, intensify belief and commitment, sharpen concentration, fuel motivation, and relieve stress.

Hence I need visualization. Does that mean that I need to pin up male model with buff bod on my wall in my room to visualise that I can achieve that too. But such gesture is so unacceptable.

Maybe I just apply another tool that can help me change me lazy thinking,
my attitudes, and finally my behavior,and that is affirmation.

We all talk to ourselves—whether we realize it or not.

I can have the bod of Chuan Do if only I put more effort in getting one

I get bored, hence I go to library at Takasimaya S.C. to browse soem books and eventually borrow soem cookbooks on pasta and dimsum. I already promise to make pasta meal for Kailing.I try to find more variety how to cook pasta.

Then I meet Tee at old MPH. We have prata at Boat Quay after workout.