Nothing

Don my pink cap and a white singlet, I am going to tan at Yio Chu Kang. Meeting people whom I do not wish to in the pool is a social plasticity. Thanks goodness, I have cap to conceal my face, despite its colour which is very captivating to the people there.

Then I take a train down to Chinatown to meet Lincoln. We are going to pay the rest of amount of money to Tour Agency.The total cost for 5Days/6nights is $375. That includes Finair airways and Asia Hotel accomodation. Then we change the Singapore currency to baht. The rate is actually $100 = 2405Baht. When I see him who cannot make decision regarding the rate exchange. I bargain for more. And we get it: $100 for 2410 Baht. How thrilling!

Then I have dinner nearby while settling for the money and also itineanry for the whole bangkok trip. I am quite excited despite getting a result tommorow. I put that worry on hold and enjoy the trip.

I just need a short getaway from Singapore and people here. I am mentally drained and the need to recharge my energy and re-focus my life is necessary. I don't want my life to be so gloomy due to the bleakness of future.

While discussing, Lincoln receives a call from his friend and during the conversation, he looks pissed. He just cut the conversation short and is angry with his friend for saying such bad statements.

His friends tells him that one of the guy he knows commit suicide, just after a trip from bangkok. He assumes that the suicide got to do with the trip. He warns Lincoln that he hope Lincoln won't be the third one who do the same after the trip. It is too much for a harmless joke. But somehow, we know we have to be careful somehow during the trip although the advise does not put in good words.

Then we take a train home.While chattin, we se the real metrosexual on the train.

The guy with nice, highlighted hairstyle, manicured fingernails, porcelain face, Louis Vutton suitcase, a branded shoes, well-creased, nicely fitted business shirt and good look. A very polished gentleman from head to toe. Perfect except one thing he posses. A less-than-perfect girlfriend. I wonder. The girl is quite plump actually but I am not against him choosing such girlfriend.

I think he is just boosting his ego.Or I m just making assumption.Bad Karma.

I go for the gym in the afternoon.Then I just go back home.

I quarrel with my mum over money dispute. I know it is my fault to ask much money and it is a last minute trip. She won't give me the money. Yes I worry too because where I can get such large sum of money and from where.

Borrow from people again? Steal? Prostituting for the money? Ask from relatives?

I know my mum still loves me despite being a lousy son

Boring

I go out and meet Lincoln at 2pm to scout for the best deals on Bangkok Trip.We meet at Chinatown MRt station and proceed to People Park Complex. Sam is around the area hence we meet him awhile but then he skip his training at Fitness First gym to join us. Lincoln has his lunch at Chinatown Point.

Then we walk around and choose Grand palace tour agency which Lincoln had used their service to go Bangkok before.We are served by jenny, the lady boss of the agency. We manage to get a good bargain somehow - $345 for 5 days in bangkok includes everything like Hotel accomodation. We are going to try Asia Hotel this time.

After that, we take a bus to Takashimaya S.C and shop around the branded boutique, then we proceed to paragon for another round of window shopping. There is great singapore sales at Burberrys and apparently we make fool of ourselves inside.

After that, we walk to Orange Cafe at CK Tangs S.C. for chill out session. We order fruit juice and discuss about the bangkok trip.However, Sam is very tired today.

Then We go to Upper Serangoon Road to accompany Sam for awhile as he needs to attend his friend birthday party as well as gives his gift to his friend. He bought a White wine at Cold Storage at Scotts. We take cab there and wait for him a while. Then we take NE train to Clarke Quay and walk to Lau Pa Sat for our eating session. We order satay again. Then Guziel comes and joins us.

After filling our stomach, we go clubbing. The club plays retro songs and the songs are just so familiar that we just sing along with hands gestures. It is very Mambo. We had fun together and I never have real fun before.Just being oneself and enjoy friends' company.Priceless.

However, I always get attention, but always in wrong way. People approach me with the intention of knowing Sam. They always use me a a channel to get to know Sam. Seriously, they do not have guts to appraoch him directly. Sam is good looking guy but he cannot be bothered with these people somehow. And I am just being nice guy and help those cowards to introduce them to Sam. After, it will be their personality to continue the conversation.

Don't blame me if things do not work out well.

Lincoln and I take Night Rider because I do not have any money at all. While they share cab home.

American Idol

Today I stay at home because I cannot wear contact lenses. I admit that I am a vain guy and you would not catch me wearing spectacles in town. My eyes are so itchy that I need to apply eyemo lotion on my eyes. The weather is nice and cool. My mum is not at home and there is no lunch for me at all.

I go down , brave the rain and buy myself an unhealthy lunch that will last me till evening. I really hate staying at home; It gives me headache. I am going to watch much anticipated show: American Idol 4 finale. Carrie won for this season. The single, Inside your heaven by her is so aspiring. I am really sucker for such songs. Plus there are strong emotions of victory during that moments. It is beautiful. How I wish I have talent in singing.

I have not tell my mum about my intention of going to Bangkok next week.

I cannot sleep either because I am so worried about my results that will come out on 2nd of June next week. I cannot afford to fail anymore. I have no time to lose. Somehow I am not that positive anymore. And not young too.

Singapore is hardly a country that I have my own life and live to my best capabilities. Dream that I don't think it can be fulfilled in this country. Our mindset is just too safe and not risky. We don't dare to dream and don't dare to fail, then dream and fulfill it again.

Should I start planning to exit from Singapore? Or I just worry too much ? FUCK!

Life is such

I go for a tan at Yio Chu Kang Pool but the weather is not suitable for tanning. I just do some reading while trying to get the sunlight as much until I end my session at 3pm. Then I take a train to Orchard. I have some snack at Old Chang Kee nearby . I sit down and feed the pigeons with my curry puff crumbs.

Somehow, I feel relaxed while feeding these pigeons . I take time to enjoy the quiet moment for a while.

Then I go to Cali gym and do some workout before meeting Lincoln later. After that, I go to Burger King to kill time. I don't believe Burger King offer all sort of drinks including Heaven and Earth Green tea. To my thrill, I order large Gren Tea and read some notes. Suddenly, finishing large cup of green tea give me headache. Does it start to detoxifying my body system?

Lincoln call me and meet him outside. Then we walk to Cineleisure Food Court to have a dinner. I have my usual Fried rice while he has his Fried fish rice. Then we go to Burberry boutique as he wants to see the sale there. When we reach there, I bump into this guy who apparently wearing whole branded attire : Louis Vutton white shoes, Louis Vutton bag, Louis Vutton ipod pouch, Polo Ralph lauren blue polo tee, And I wonder what his pants and belt label are?

And he does not carry those branded clothes well. Or I am just bitter that he is young yet like a 'walking brand'. I am still comforting myself that he does make those branded stuff cheap. Or just plain show off. Yeah, Why must one hold his LV ipod pouch on his hand while shopping in the boutique. I just rolls eyes.

Then we go to KinoKuniya again as Lincoln wants to see the design of the namecard for his namecard design. I am bored to tears there apparently.

Then we walk to HMV to meet up with Samuel who has just finish his training and exam at Suntec city. Then we walk to usual Scotts McDonalds joint to have supper. We chat awhile and discuss about the Bangkok trip.;Normal ramblings until 11pm.

We take a train home together.

BOREDOM

Been a long time I do not update my blog because my ibook has gone haywire. I am so worry about the ibook , just create trouble at this moment when I need it at most. Vut the crap about everything happens for a reason. I am losing my sanity this month.

I spend my holiday sleeping and recuperating. My eyes give me trouble again. Thanks goodness my ibook is back to normal health. I need a vacation that set my mind free from anxieties and worries.

I need to ward off these negativties by focusing my thoughts of the present day, and not worrying about the future or grieving about the past. How regretful for things in the past which I cannot put right or change, and worry which may come because of fear for the future. So I should focus only on the present day, and focus my efforts on getting things right today. I need to start from tommorow. Yes.

Strive for that which will benefit me and seek the help of God, and do not be helpless.

Vesak Day

Hoilday is back again but I need to wake up early to help my mum and sis for her house-warming party later. I do not care how I look hence I just go public in spectacles. My uncle is already downstair waiting for us to go to Boon Lay and take the food prepared by my auntie. I manage to see my sis's new car. I am still so sleepy.

Everyone asks me the same question : Have I finish my university studies ?

I miss my pussy cat and I am so touched that she still remember me. But was frightened by my little, irritating and impish cousins. It does feel good to bring smiles to a small children but these children expect more than they ask for and start terrorising my mind. They ask me why I wear a necklace as guy IS not allowed to wear one? And it can be awkward when one ask me such sexual issues. Puberty is part of growing up period but it will be better to let their parent do the teaching instead of me.

I am getting bored and I do not wish to meet their friends later. I ask my uncle what time he wants to leave so that he can send me back home. I am playing a role as a young brother rather than eldest. When we are about to leave, I bound into a gal who is as same NTU course as me. It is so coincident. The world is so small after all. I bet my mum will ask question about me from her.

During the journey back home, my uncle I have heart to heart conversation pertaining certain matters like moving out issues. He thinks like me, to achieve and experience life in wider perspective but is being halt due to my grandmother's ill health and age. I feel so sorry for him because most of his ambitions just paused because of family conservative upbringing. I cannot give any good advice but just a listening ear to his dilemma: chasing his dreams or just fulfil as a filial son.

I wait for lincoln call and end up taking a long nap. I just feel so tired and sleepy. At 9.30pm, I wake up and get a nasty call from Lincoln. Hence, I just dressed up simply and take cab to Far East plaza. It cost $12 from my house. I go and meet Sam and Lincoln at Mcdonald's Restaurant at Isetan Scotts. We chatted awhile there. Sam bought Tarot card deck from Borders.

I suggest to watch movie but Sam is not keen hence we take a bus 174 to Raffles Place and walk to Lau Pa Sat . We have satays for supper. It is nice to enjoy goood friends company filled with laughter and simplicity. We act, talk and laugh like crazy guys but still maintain our poise and glamour. Life is about thinking like a child and laugh easily over any matters.

But somehow, Sam has issue to handle with his mum. His mum keeps calling him to go back home early , apparently treat him like a kid until now. Somehow, he feels like he is being robbed of privacy and life he is living. I can see how disheartened he is when he is having conversation with his mum. I thought my mum is worse enough. I think there is always solution to everything roblem if we are patient enough to handle them. I should be thankful for having my parents who are still healthy and living. I always take them for granted. Ii is high time to pay them back what I owe: A good retiring life.

But right now, I must know my direction in my life.

holiday

Today I woke up late but I have a wakeup call from Samuel whether I am interested in gong to Fitness First again at Goergia Street. I meet him at Buona Vista at 2pm and then proceed to China Square since he has not taken any lunch yet. He has McDonalds Meal and I try the Berrynice yogurt . It is very healthy and nice .

Then we reach the place and bum into Anita, the fitness consultant again. We chat awhile before attending Maverick' bodypump class. We both always get attention to him and indirectly bitch at us during the class. The class today is very tough because there are a lot of push-ups involved. Sam feels awkward because he just had a lunch before that and doing this kind of class straight after lunch is very bad. He can feel the food start to come out from his stomach.

Rule mention don't exercise immediately after eating, because the body shifts fluid away from muscles and into the gastrointestinal tract during digestion. The ideal time for fitness activities is about 1 hour after heavy meal.

We skip the BodyBalance and take a rest but I continue doing free weight training because I do not feel that I am working out hard. After that, we go for a dip. We always have constant attention at the pool. Sam and I do a challenge to swim 5 laps which I think it is 10 laps ( to anf fro along the length of the pool ) non stop. I feel tired but good after completing. Sam swims faster than me.

Then we go and change. I meet Anita for awhile to discuss about joining Fitness First gym. I just giving bulls*** trying not to join the gym because the pricing is very high. Then we go to Banquet Foodcourt nearby for a dinner. We have chicken rice, Pohpiah and white carrot cake for dinner. I bump into Victor there too. He sport such a nice and expensive hairstyle.

Then we walk to McDonald at Boat Quay and do some reading while waiting for Lincoln to finish his family dinner. He went to some posh restaurant at UOB plaza to celebrate his grandmother's birthday. The McDonalds aircon is very strong and we are shivering cold. Hence at 10pm, we decide to walk along the river. Suddenly there is familiar voice saying " my friends are here already". We look straight and see lincoln and his big family there. We are so embarrased that we just stand still whether we should just avoid them or greet them.

After goodbye, Lincoln join us and then we have supper for awhile. After that, we go clubbing. But today, I behave like some bastard. I try hard to ignore Derek after the incident. I think he get the message clearly but too bad, don't ever step on my precious tail, I can be ferocious. After that, Lincoln take night rider while Sam and I share cab home.

hang out

I keep wasting my time everyday.

I go gym for a while to have a short workout, then meet Sam at City Hall after his training at Suntec City. We sit somewhere so that he can enjoy his bread which he bought at breadtalk for his lunch. We bump into Alistair there too. We walk around while waiting for Lincoln at City Hall control station after his work.

After that, he brings us to NAFA graduation show near Bencoolen Street. I am quite impressed with students' works ( visual communication ) but Sam does not know how to appreciate such works. Then after 'sight-seeing', we have our dinner nearby. We order Chicken Murtabak, Mee Goreng and Mutton soup and we three share the food ala buffet. We have fun laughing and joking in the middle of the foodstall. We stay there for so long.

We walk to paradiz centre with intention of playing pool but almost every places are fully booked. We just walk to Plaza Singapura and chill out at Pablum cafe. Again, we order strawberry waffles and Brownies with vaniila ice-cream. Sam tells us about his love relationship and we are the first to know about it.

The topic of relationship. Something I am not good at giving advice and opinion.

Then, Derek wants to meet us after his gym hence, we wait awhile for him at the cafe. But somehow, he seems to be very late and we stay in the cafe for so long. Hence we just leave and go to Plaza Singapura. I meet Kent with his bunch of friend at Pablum cafe too.

Then, Derek comes with whole black attire but what embarrasses Lincoln and probably me is his yoga pants . It is like wearing a sarong skirt , worse with black tank top. He sure get a lot of diverted attention from public. This does not give a good impression to Sam. I already tell him not to dress such dressing even though he is yoga fanatic. We are living in society, not own world. Lincoln leave early to meet his friend while we three walk to Kopi Tiam.

It is hard to be a middle man when the conversation is made. Any conversation made between Sam and I is unknown to Derek and Derek seems so eager to know what are we talking about. Sometimes, he gives wrong ideas which can cause misunderstandings. Silence is Golden rule is still applicable. Then I decide to go home since I am facing an awkward situations. I know Sam cannot click with Derek, unlike with Lincoln.

Derek suggest to take bus 7 with Samuel and then take taxi home. I am not that keen to take bus 7 when I have 174 bus to go home. But somehow, I have to give in as a friend. Along the way, Derek conversation with Samuel cause misunderstanding and leave me hurt with his racist remarks.

"I am racist" , said him.

I am already liberal and open-minded person and I know racist issues or soever jokes are somehow inevitable. No that I am being discriminated against but to have friends who are racist, I find it disturbing and unacceptable. I think they are so narrow-minded and imperfect. He is very blunt with his words which can hurt other people. What's the point of learning yoga when one himself has no right mentality . The objective of Yoga is to study of the Self with a sense of reflection and introspection so that the spiritual traveler may understand the conditions of his / her mind. Hence,yoga enables us to manifest positive change in our lives through non-judgmental awareness or “mindfulness” and the development of the compassionate mind.

Having one or few bad experiences with someone of different skin colour , one is blindly, often without any behind-laying reason, resenting or judging someone.I won't succumbed to such immature mentality.Should I just ignore and forgive him for lacking of broader perspective in life since he is young. I don't think so. Time to educate him and accept the facts that I don't accept racist as friends. What is more important beyond the skin colour, is the heart .

Sunny

Today, I feel like getting a good tan. Hence I go to YCK pool , hopefully the sun will be quite sunny and bright.

i am lucky to get a good tanning deck when i reach the pool because the place is quite crowded. I am not enjoying my tan actually because the sun was not blazing hot and always been covered by moving clouds. I lay down on my chest and just watching so many kids having their lessons in pool opposite me. Suddenly something caught my eyes.

This young hunk rises from the pool with a hardon. Yes, an obvious hardon and he wears grey square cut trunks. It is not really a pleasing sight especaly being caught with one's tent up in the public.I think he know that I caught his act because his deck is just beside me. but of course, I don't want him to feel awkward so I just turn my head to other side. But then he still walk towards the showerroom with that hardon. Or he just have that size, not having any hardon.

I am done with my tan because the weather starts to get cloudy. I take a train to somerset to go to gym . I realise that I do not being my top for the weight-training session. Hence I just go to HMV and listen to music while waiting for Lincoln. Around 6.30pm, Lincoln comes and introduces his friend to me. He has this pretty face and young, alomst 10 years younger than me. That's a very wide age gap. Then we walk to cineleisure and have dinner at KFC restaurant.

It is quite difficult to strike a spontaneous conversation with people of younger generation. Hence , i just add some slapstick or black humour to the conversation to make things easier and comfy with me around.After that, the young guy ( his name is very strange and hard to pronounce ). We go to KinoKuniya Bookstore as Lincoln wants to have some ideas for his project at his workplace. Then we go home by train

Career moves

My first time to wake up so early. I don my Zara Shirt and black pants and ready to go to Bugis to attend Phillipcapital. But I keep delaying my time hence I am still contemplating whether I should goa nd attend the seminar. Then i stop at city Hall with those executives and take a bus to YMCA and have a breakfast.

I decide not to go and just go to cali gym after my breakfast at McDonalds Restaurant. I attend bodypump and some jogging before going for a shower.

Then I meet Lincoln at Tanjong Pagar MRT station to have lunch together. When he sees me in such attire, he accuses me of being so poser. Well, I feel and look good anyway except the pants, frankly. We walk to the Amoy Street Food Centre to have lunch. The trip there is a real culture shock. Most of the seats are being reserved using a packet of tissue. I am quite pissed with the lack fo seats and overcrowd of working people having lunch.

Worse, I have to wait for my food almost 30 minutes and by the time I reach to our seats, Lincoln have finish his lunch. I seems to lose appetite somehow. The food is really not that fantastic too. However, there are a lots of working babes. So if I want to get married, just have a lunch at Amoy Street Food centre almost everyday.

Nothing much i can do after that because I am very sleepy. Hence i decide to go home and take a very long nap. When i wake up, my mum asks me about the interview. I keep telling her that it is not job interview but then I still have to tell lie that I reject the offer because the job is all about playing shares and stock beside insurances.

Suddenly I start to think about my future. What kind of job I really like to do or have since I get rejected by NIE? I keeps pondering about it for so long. The job I have interest in or thhe job that give me earning of $2.5K and above.

Dilemma.

Depression

Today I am not in the mood for any activities. I am experience inevitable period of sadness. I feel more than just simple down. I think I am having depression, I am getting senstive to life circumstance around me, and that lead me into total despair.

Suddenly, I just feel sad, empty and perhaps worthless. These feelings really distorts my thought and expericence, making life meaningless and hopeless somehow.

My mood goes haywire, like a rollercoaster ride this week. I try hard to beat depression on my own, which I should not try to but I just cannot find anyone suitable to help break through this state,

I am not thinking of suicides YET.

I have been a positive thinker this while. But somewhere along the path, I fall into the trap of expecting too much and becoming disappointed easily. Plus, I have been a good listener to the negative thought about life these few days.

I have been a good friend to everyone.I can sometimes tolerate more from them than we really should. In an attempt to hang on to the few friends I have, we let the good times overshadow the bad, in the hopes that the annoying tendencies of lbeing pessimistic are just a passing phase.

But the problem is that, in doing so, you end up letting the person take me to whirlwind journey of negativity and annoy you on a constant basis. Is that what friendship is all about? I think not. I am not as lucky as they are but what stands out is my optimism in life. I do needs friends who make me feel good abou myself. I am not collecting praises and attention.

I just don't want their problems are becoming mine. I am not being selfish but I can help as much as I can and within my scope.

I am depressed enough.

I really want to protect my friendship and be loyal to it, but friendships should not be disruptive to my lifestyle, Life is short.

If one make a molehill out of mountain, one really need to look within himself/herself that there are people who are less unfortunate than them. We should be blessed with who we are and accept the challenges of life to be integral of life.

Move on.

dreams

I wake up late today but is being disturbed by Lincoln Phone call who ask me about my plan.

Anyway I have enough of sleep, hence I meet him at cineleisure Burger King at Cineleisure. Then Samuel calls me to mee him at City Hall. Hence both of us goes down to city hall and meet him at Soup Spoon restaurant. He is having his lunch there. Then we bump into his choir members there too.

Then we have tea session at Coffee and Toast Cafe at City Link. We order Peanut Kaya, Butter and Sugar and Kaya bread and coffee and tea for beverage. We have great laughter and fun when we talks about our past, especially lincoln being comical. Life seems to be so carefree and relaxing.

Then we decide to go Carrefour Supermarket to window-shop. Lincoln manage to get Faye Wing VCD , black pants and microphone there. Apparently, the items are very cheap. We just love shopping in such megamarts as if we all have our own apartment and plan what to buy and place in the apartments, Think like a child and nothing goes wrong being happy.

Then we walk back. I take bus with Sam while Lincoln embark his journey by train,

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

party

Today I meet lincoln at 4pm for shopping spree. I am not that keen to go out on Saturday actually. We just walk around before going to Far East Plaza to have out late lunch at Puncak restaurant. The food we order are not that appetizing but at least I get attention, all thanks to the auntie.

Me: I think I need a green chilli pickles for my Claypot Noodles.
Lincoln: I think you must look around for it ( But I already go to the counter before I can hear what he )
Me: Auntie, I want the green chilli
Auntie: It is on the table.
Me: Dun have leh ( but leave as she looks bery busy)
Auntie: Handsome, that table have green chilli.
[ All the people look at me ]
Me: Oh ok..thank you ah.
Lincoln: See I told you just now.
Me : I dunno what.

Pardon the singlish.

Lincoln buys himself a pair of earring which really do not suit him at all. Then we shop at Louis Vutton boutique and Gucci Boutique at Paragon to check out the latest items. I am not really into all these branded items unless I am working and earns more than $3K. Seeing these womean of all age, browsing and buying the handbags do make me wonder their status in the society.

Then we go inside and window-shop inside. Then we stop at the Cineleisure Foodcourt for coffee while he waiting for Razi to come and I wait for Derek to call me for clubbing session. It is raining heavily and I am early.

Then at 12am, we go clubbing. The most depressing part about going to club is to feel lonely despite being in the crowd. I get my ample attention from the crowd but does it make me feel achieved and fulfilled. Think not. Trying ahrd to superficial and look good at times. It is time consuming and tiring. I am practically over.

Plus, I want to say that there's a ground on which racism within clubbing culture can be found. However, I must tell you that I do not confuse "personal preference" with "racism." They are related, while they are separate. Hence, as clubbing culture harbors superficiality that comes from looks, loosely speaking, the talk of "preference" and "racism" pretty much go in the realm of superficiality in urban culture too. Reality bites.

How much I truly yearns for friendship, or deeply companionship. It would not work well somehow, I just celebrate the good music and the attendance of beautiful crowd.

I cannot condemned such superficaility as I can be one of the plastic doll around. What bore me is that people ask me the same question :" Are you local ?"

Does that important ? If yes, I don't tell these people seriously.

How they approach me is also a factor on how I might respond.If they carry themself well and spark an interest then I am sure they will make a friend or an acquaintance somewhere along the way. The world is how it is.

Barbie Girl By Aqua

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

ake me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,
hit the town, fool around, let's go party
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

raining badly......

gop clubbing with derek......

sentosa

Today , I meet Brandon at Harbour Front MRT at 2pm. Both of us want to check out the new bar, KM8 at Sentosa. We have lunch at coffee stalls before taking bus at the interchange. I think there are some orientation camps being held today because I see some leaders and flag bearers around. These remind us of the senior camp and orientation camp in 2001. We just laughed at the past when we recall the moments that time. We walk together with these bunch of groups toward Tanjong Rhu Beach. The place is very quiet and less people. Then we chill out at the bar for a while . I have Fruit punch while Brandon has Heinekein beer to cool him down. Apparently, the weather is really nasty today.

There are many babes tanning at the sun deck as well as the beach. Only one hunk is present with his voluptous girlfriend. I think this place will be my hang out place in the future because of serenity and lesser people. I myself am not proud of my gluttony bod. We chat for a while while enjoying the drink before taking a walk around 4pm when the sun is not that warm.

Then we walk to the Palawan beach and buy some drinks at 711 store. The beach here is full with youngsters and students. Then we decide to take a choo choo train as the weather is killing us somehow. While waiting, these young girls apparently are flirting with us indirectly. Hey, i am not paedophile. Then we stop at the siloso beach. The place is really changed alot since 2 years ago. But those memoirs still linger on my mind. I just miss those days. Days of being young with good friends.

The we walk from Mahalo beach to Siloso beach and it is not short walk. We stop by the siloso bar to ask for the rental of the volleyball court. I miss volleyball games. Not to brag but seems those young girls just swoon over us. It is ego trip.

Then we take a choo choo train and just wave at these girls during the journey.

Then we decide to go home since my mum calls me to go home to celebrate her birthday later.

It is really a nice trip with a good friend to chill out. I take bus 30 home and I am so regretful for my decision. I reach home by 8pm.

After that,my sister and her hubby come and fetch us and then go to second causeway to Johore Bahru. We have a large sumptous seafood dinner at JB. i remembered we( JJC ) used to celebrate Kien's birthday at this restaurant. I kiss my mum on the cheek there. i get attention but who cares, i am sucker for such attention. I just feel good when people look at me.

The whole dinner cost RM137.60. It is super cheap . Crabs,Fish, Prawns, Chicken, Squids, vegetables, and Tom Yam Soup.

Then we are about to go home, we are stopped by the restaurant boss who know my sister's hubby as he and my sister always frequent to his restaurant for any speacial occasion. He introduced everyone of us . Then my mum say that i am the elder brother of my sister which astonish the boss. He compliment me for looking young. I am damn flattered actually. I believe that it is not my dressing style. My mum says that I am still student and living off my parents' money. I just roll eyes.

Basic secret to stay and look young - Drink Green Tea, Do yoga or exercise, Laugh hard and Sleep well.

Lag

I really lag behind my peers and yet I take things easy. Actually, inside my heart, I am worrying like hell. When I ask my mum for the money and she is on the phone with someone, she tell someone on the phone that my sis is actually envious When she gives monthly money to my mum, she delibrately tell my that this money sure give to me. I just roll eyes.

I realised from this point that I am really slacker and bummer. Let's look at the situation why I am different and slow from others ?

Everyone is given equal opportunity to do the course,however there is no guarantees that everyone will finish. Everyone will find the degree of difficulty in doing the course very difficult.

Hence, Our life's lessons are different from anybody's else and even if they are happened to be similar then we don't necessarily learn them at same time or in the same order.

Things do change in life and sometimes very quickly and radically. There are so many shallow influences that effect me continually. Hence, I need to transform my life.I just need a matter of understanding a few basic life principles and then putting them into practise.

I hate month of may. It is transitional period for me.

Or I do not comtemplate on what it is that i really want in life. I need to create my own world. And the world I refer simply to the conditions and circumstances in my life. In all truth, everything that has happened in my life I ahve in some way created. This may have been either intentionally or unintentionally. Consciously or unconsciously. And right now, I am creating my future. What make me feel so disappointed with my life?

I guess I praise myself for own good achievements but refuse to take responsibility for my actions when things go wrong.

I must create my life what I believe. Wish me luck.

Being Bad

I am always a big jerk ( but with nice heart )

They refer me as a jerk suggests that my penchant to push people into doing things they should do in their life and make life more lively by making fool of themselves. It can be positive though as it carries innovation and motivation. I don't intimidate people, Do I?

There is only skill I am trying to learn: brainwashing. What I did comes down to question of intention. I want people to be better. It sound patronizing but I want to be surrounded with positive-minded people. I want the people to be better so that they can be better friends to me. I want them to be honest and comfortable with me. I want them to be realistic yet funny . I want them to be happy and confident. I need positivity at the moments.

I also want them to loosen up and break the rules. I want them to make fool of themselves and create a din. Life is short and make a day worth remembering. I myself feel like I work hard to finds things that my life more enjoyable and adventurous. And i want to share with them. I love my life and they should love theirs too. Stop making me sighing about presence that cause me so worked up.

I proud and not bragging that I have changed people's life. I force them to get what they want, underhand or right way. Nothing can be satisfying but to get what they desire.Life is a bitch so move on. I need to move on too.

Sometimes people need a push. They need a hit resistance before they will contemplate change. I am just a catalyst.It still gets to do with mutual trust. My intentions are good but shocking. Or I just desire for love and acceptance. I am seriously not wanting people to be indebted to me for everything I have done to help them . I am just contented to know I am a good friend inspite my egoistic and perfectionist attitude.

Hence, I can hope for is that I am sufficiently honest to acknowledge what's is best for them and actions I am considering for them. Sometimes, it is not simple ; an action can be done by good or bad intentions, and that can against my own integrity and principle to help a friend. And I am doing not for recognization. But I think it's worth to make someone feels good and speacial. And people should think I am worth that risks well.

As long as they don't step my tail. I can be nasty .

limits

I think I have so many limits, that cause the delay of success. Beside being a dreamer and trying hard to impress people. I hold myself back from doing what I longing to yearn. I make things impossible or spend too much time on unimportant stuff.

1) Self-limiting perspective of myself . Yes, labels like dumb, vain pot, shallow and even socialites wannabe hold me backs. I spend so much time trying to make myself being accepted into the social culture and society and bother what other people say about me.

2) Fear - Anxiety about what may happen to me if I am coming out of my comfort zone like rejection

3) Procrastination - I plan and yet do not build momentum to execute the plans. I take things easy and slow.

4) Lack of focus - I am not sure of my priorities or perhaps I set unimportant goals that cause happiness in long run.

5) Exaggarated excuses - I am making too much excuse with Sucess because I limits the options and choice available to me.

6) Indecisiveness - I making a wrong choices, always

7) Not being silent - I should try to get comfortable being still to ponder, listen and follow my heart.

8) Do not want to surpass my parents - My upbringing and rules restrict my talent to fullest.

9) Limits set by others - Some toxic friends create shallow opinions of me because they thought they know me well enough but the fact the do not know.

10) Lone ranger - I need to connect with others to extend my reach and grow faster with ease instead of doing things in my own hands.

11) lack of confidence - I need to get the source of fears to make myself worths Succesful people also stumble, mess up and fail.

12) Not saying No - I should know my priorities and say no to anything that does not support them.

13)No Saying yes - I tend to ignore my inner voice to take actions to fulfil my dreams

14) Tolerating - I NEED to simplify, handle and get rid of the things, people and activties that drain my energy so I feel better and create space for what I want.

15) Noot being in tegrity with self - I need to tell ab solute truth about who i am , what my needs are , my values and what i want in life to people.

I need actions to move beyond my limits and reach for the sky.

Monday

Today, I wake up real early just to go to gym with Samuel. He ask me to join him to the other Fitness First branch at Capital Tower. We meet at 11.30am at Tanjong pagar MRT station and proceed to the Capital Tower. As usual, Fitness First gym is very classy and exclusive gym. We change and attend the bodybalance class. I am quite suprised that the people attend the class are mostly ladies, or rather matter of fact only Sam and I are the only male attend the class. It is quite contrast compared to california gym. Maybe the guys cannot afford to pay such exclusive gym membership. If not for the pool, I prefer california gym because it is spacious and big-sized.

Then Sam strains his ankle during the bodybalance , hence we skip the body pump and just proceed to swimming . We have tan first before having fun in the pool. As usual, we always get the attention from older women in gym. I guess they must be rich and lonely. But hey, no assumption. We are the only young males present in the gym. Anyway, It is my first time to try swimming freestyle.

After that, we have our meal at Maxwell Hawker center before going to Borders for hang out.Before that, we go to Ya Kun Kaya toast cafe at Far East plaza for tea break. Samuel is surpised that I am very active and hold chairman in union camp during my university years. I look so himbotic and goofy to everyone and I prefer this well.

Lincoln is going to meet us in town after his work since he has no internet connection at home. Lincoln wants to have dinner at Cineleisure foodcourt. I met Kovit there. apparently, there are so many beautiful poeple there.

We walk to Kinokuniya Bookstore and then settle at Mcdonalds Restaurant for another chat session. Among three of use,Lincoln is the most mature in thinking despite being youngest among three of us. I guess age doesn't always dictate maturity.He's matured a lot faster than most people and he had to learn to deal with adult situations at a young age. It's all circumstantial. We should not run away from mistakes but instead learn from them and be proud of them.

I've also met a lot of people my age and older that were complete idiots, experienced nothing in their life.

Mother days

Today is Mother day but my whole family are not around. I stay at home alone enjoying the food my father bought for me as breajkfast and lunch. I get the call from lincoln that he needs to use my ibook to do his presentation tommorrow. I meet him at 5.30pm at city Hall. I know there is free internet access at Pacific Coffee Bean cafe at city Link.

Then we walk to Suntec City McDonalds to try out the internet access but somehow I still face the same problem using ibook in Mcdonalds . Lincoln have dinner at Foodcourt before walking back to Pacific Coffee Bean.

There is not internet access there so I ask the cashoer regarding this, She says that the server or service is down at the moment. Then Lincoln asks again and the answer varies. Actually, they do not switch on the router perhaps of the misuses of the wireless internet service there. I don't belive it.

Then we try our luck at Burger King at Raffles city Basement level. Apparently, we have to use singtel service to log in and it cost 12c per minute. Alas, we give up the idea and just have dinner there.Lincoln tells me that I have no ambitions and very lazy and that's why I am alway lag behind my peers.I am just like Alex. I just keep my cool and just smile. It is my fault actually for being who I am .Anyway, we walk around the shopping centre before going to MPH at citylink.

Both of us need to use toilet. Apparently, most of the cubicle are being used hence I used urinal to pee. When I am about to pee, a guy just go beside me and stare at me....err ...below my waist level. I give him that catty look and just zip my pants and go off. There is this guy behind me who also uses urinal looks suspicious as he always looks at the direction of cubicle on his left. Then at the washing area, two guys just wait there and admiring their U*** face. I feel so disgusted and leave. Then lincoln tells me that, when he is inside cubicle, he happens to see the shadow of someone next door masturbating, he feels disgusted. It is only 9pm and so many activities done by perverts.

I have nothing to say but please keep your sexual activities private and stop luring those innocent and decent people like us. :P

Gross.

Theh we browse some books and then I tell lincoln I really need to pee hence we go to City Hall toilets. Then we take a train home. Wasted.

sun

Nothing to chill out today . Go out with friends .

Then I sms Kien but there is no reply but at least there is Sam around at the moment to fill my Saturday. I wait for him to change into clubbing attire near his apartment. Apparently, he supposed to drive to the club but he afraid he may get headache along the way because it has been a long time for him to drive using manual gears. Then we just walk to the bus stop but miss the last bus.

I do not want to spend so much money on taxi fare. Hence we just chill out at Petrol Kiosk for at least two hours. I bought cornetto ice-cream while Sam is having instant noodle. Well, it is kind of weird to chill out at the small cafe inside the petrol kiosk beside Jelita Shopping Centre.

We talk about life and future again. Then he talks about his job interview which he is not positive about clinching it. The questions expected are not technicel but actually test your character building like

1) What is your achievement in last 5 years?
2) What are your philosophies in life?

It set me thinking about these questions and I am clueless how to answer such questions, surpisingly.We then talk about friendship and our social circle. We are like pouring our woes in the middle of night at petrol station, somehow similar to some scenes in the particular movie. It can be freaky. Then Martin approach the kiosk and surpises to see me and Sam hanging out here. He is just back from the theather work : Madame Butterfly where he plays the role of the prince. I am so impressed with him but i gather he quit his lawyer jobs. I hardly keep updates with anyone nowadays. It is really nice to hear from him again.

Then I take a cab to Clementi central and take a NR5 home because I do not have enough cash to take Cab.

How how am I going to answer those two questions?

Die. Loss of words.

Moving Out

Today, it is very cool weather, good to sleep actually. In evening I decide to go gym. It is very crowded at 5.20pm plus I miss the class. I just go for a jog in hill mode for 20 minutes.

The guys in california are simply stunning and are of beautiful form. I feel ugly today seeing these people around the gym. I feel like changing gym. You do not need to buy fashion magazine to look for latest fashion update because these people are like a walkibng fashion statement.

Then I take a bus 190 to meet Lincoln at Choa Chu Kang. He is giving me a dinner treat , rojak for helping him later to pack his stuff. After that, we walk to his Phoenix apartment. While watching the show, baeutiful illusion , we do our packing. There is nothing much to pack actually except his wardrobe. His dog is getting cuter when i see her.

I just did my bit to help him actually since I am free at the moment. At last I manage to see all his tenants in the apartment.

Around 10.30pm, I go home.

I look haggard now.

Nice raining day

Today, I purposely woke up late till 11.30am until sam calls me to ask me to go for chill out later in evening. I am fine with it. Then I have brunch afterthat. Suddenly my right eye get sore and I have to wait till the soreness subsides. I cannot go out without contact lenses. Then I go back to sleep as I believe that only when I am in sleep mode, the body start to repair itself, including my eyes.

Then I go to Boon Lay bus interchange to get the concesson pass and take a bus 154 to clementi. I take bus 7 to Orchard Road to meet Sam. I am late again and apparently, he is ver patient person. Then we go to Mos Burger restaurant to have his lunch and I have coffee there. The place is very noisy and having a conversation is difficult. Then we go to Kinokuniya Bookstore to read some self-enrichment books before proceeding to Delifrance for our hang-out.

I try the Le Mango Chicken Medley set for only $4.95 while Sam has chicken pie. We share our meal like some best friends until Lincoln comes over to meet us. He shows me his ads for his working place. I am always impressed with works but somehow he prefers to design things dark according to Sam and make the message across indirectly. He is just loves doing things against conventional and this makes him interesting person.

Then we walk to Cineleisure Food court to have our dinner. Lincoln has fish soup as his dinner and even Sam has fish soup after that. I really amaze at his big appetite. The we sit awhile before walking around the Heeren S.C . Then we walk to the Shaw House McDonalds to sit down awhile for a chat and a drink.

Apparently, everyone has his own issues along the way in life. Three of us face with different issues or problems at the moment but that does not make us individualistic, just the problems themselves. People often live in a state of denial about their true feelings b ut even as a friend, I am not able to read and identify their true feelings and, in theory, with time help or even cure the person of their problem.I focus on each one's plight and I put my commitment to help , maybe by just providing listening ear and perhaps positive suggestion and opinion that make help to find a better alternative to the matters. Anyway, Everyone has his own perspective. Money, politic, environment, and friendships are always common issues faced by us . It feels good to pour your feelings and anger out to people you can trust .

But sometimes, being optimistic all the time and conceal your problems to own is not healthy too. I have my own reservations about an emphasis on ethical or even moral dilemmas. These dilemmas often reflect the overall moral stature of our lives journey. Hard to solve your own problems by yourself although you can solve other people's problems. How ironic.

After that, we go home our own way. luckily, Marcus calls me and we have a hearty conversation during the journey home. I think too much suddenly about my future again.

Last Days

Today , I don black tee and army berms and go to school at 7am. I have my breakfast first before doing a last reading up when Kailing comes over and joins me. Then we both do some reading again and apparently, I know I cannot absorb much information now and I am worry actually. Then we walk to the Hall E ,and just wait for the time ticking away.

The paper is tough actually to me. My mind just go blank for 15 minutes. The guy beside me keeps scribbling away doe snot help soothe my nervous mind. I just do what I can do and hope for the best. With or without confidence, I hope I can make it for this time.

Then, Kailing and I take a bus 179 to bus interchange. We talk about issue on body ordour. She poses a question to me how to tell your good friend that he/she has a body ordour. Well, I myself cannot manage to answer such question. It can be dilemma to tell your good friend about this without hurting his/her pride or feeling .But then,what can be worse in the world then having to be near somebody with really offensive body odour.

I remembered when I jogged on the treadmill at california when this plump guy come to use the treadmill beside me. In few minutes, I get a certain strong stench beside me and worse, it makes me gag. Being polite, I just stop my running and change places. I also remembered that I have a friend who have a keen sense of smell. He bluntly told me that i smelled horrible , similar to the solied clothes being hanged overnight and still wear it. I got offended actually but then at least I am aware of it and then It would not cause any embarrasssment later then. Reality can be hurting but if it does good to us, why not accept it as a lesson and be open-minded instead of being angry with a friend.

My answer is : Do you change your clothes , something smell odd suddenly ? < learn from experience.>

Then we walk around the Taka SC while waiting for Hungyong to come. Then I suggest to have a cheap meal at Lucky plaza . Hungyong and Kailing have a carrot cake while I have fried rice. Kailing orders French Fries while Hung Yong buys Otah Otah for each of us. I do not bring much cash tonight actually. Then we go to Island Cafe at CK Tangs to hang out there. The place has a nice and quiet ambience actually. We order fruit juice ( mine is water melon while they have honeydew ) . We have fun teasing each other and I have never had such fun and joy with good friends for so long despite being tired and lack of sleep. Laughter really does wonder to me. I have seen Kailing's lighter side now .

We discuss about her encounter with someone who can see her actions, her expression and her through his mind. It really amaze me and hung yong actually. Plus her ambition to set up event planning company. I suggest a name : ZenUs Bleu . Then after continuous refill of plain water and stay for long time there, we go to city hall to meet Hung Yong friends.

While HungYong meets his friends, we both window-shop at gift shop. Then we meet them at foodcourt . It is Zhongren, juliana and matthew. I even someone I know in the foodcourt. I feel inferior when people ask me the same question: Where are you working now? My aspect of life is always delayed with time,unlike my peers.

Maybe If you feel inferior to certain people, it is because of your own beliefs. How I react to situations is my personal choice. It is my decision, and mine alone, to determine the importance I give to any situation. Inferiorty comes in due to uncertainties in future.It is hard but somehow I need to swallow my pride and just respond with smile. I need to continue with life.

Then Hui Hui and Bee lan come at last. i really miss them. hui hui looks great with re-bonded hair and Bee lan looks great with that smashing attire. We have dinner here but I just have Mee Siam. While waiting for HungYong to finish chatting with his friends, Kailing teaches me how to chat free using bluetooth. I am truly amazed by the technology which i believe I abuse the benefit . That's thrilling.

Then the couple left, while Kailing left too. The rest of us go to pacific coffee bean cafe to chill out. I have americano which is a treat by Hungyong. I feel bad actually, but I just have no enough cash. Despite the teasing and fun again, The conversation alway make set thinking about future. Death and marriage is the main issue . Apparently these two issue I really hate to discuss. Worse, they even notice my loss of weight. I look more haggard and skinnier. I guess the depression, stress, failures and disappointments are the factors that cause turmoils to my eating habits which cause loss of weights. But then, I still have to put sunshine to myself and others. I feel worried and sad inside.

Then we left around 11pm. I take train home and manage to catch American Idol at star channel. Suddenly, I lost drive to live. Damn!

Study

Today I go back to school to print some notes on supply chain management before I go to canteen B to have my big lunch. Then I take a quiet spot at one of the benches near LT 2 to do my revision. Kailing smses me for meet up at 4pm. the weather is very warm actually and people may think that I m stupid to study outside. I cannot study in the library because I forget to bring my jacket to warm me and cold air-con will make me prone to flu and cold.

Kailing walks over and meet me. I give her some notes and then I go pack my stuff to go home a while to have dinner before meeting her later in evening in the library. I rest my body and mind first and then take a bus to meet her at 7pm.

It is my first time and last time to study in the library as well as with somebody. I miss the days when I study with good friends last time in the library, plus with other students mugging around.We both have productive time, discussing about the subject we takes.Through study group, we analyze and prioritize which is important and may be necessary to study.

Then around 10pm, we go back home. I buy McDonald meal for my supper later to burn my midnight candle.

Apparently, i spend my night watching tv because my mind suddently halted to absorbing of information.

hv

I go to NTU canteen B in last morning to do revision there. I get distraced by the exchange student whoe laugh sounds so weird and scary. I am just too lazy to change seat and just continue my revision. Then i walk back home when I receive a call from Sam.

Then I meet him around 6pm at Holland Village instead of Orchard Road because I am just too lazy to travel. I meet him at some fashion outlet there and I am horrified by his expression to buy the jeans that cost only $23.90. The jeans it self is very ugly interms of cutting. I do not know he will go for such products somehow. I manage to disuade him from buying that f-ing jeans.

Then we hang out at coffee bean cafe. We order drinks and a brownie. I sure buy the brownie there. We split costa nd share brownie. While enjoying the brownie we talk about life and analyze it from perspectives of our own and it depends on our ability to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and to see the world from their point of view. Apparently, Sam and I have very different life in terms of material/monetary and looks. He is more fortunate than me in those departments.None of us have a "perfect" past.When we see ourselves as victims, we become caught in our circumstance whether it be a past or present experience. Our natural response to negative situations is anger. Of course, we have to direct anger toward someone or something. If we direct anger toward others, then offenses follow. If we direct it toward ourselves, then we enslave ourselves. Guilt often follows the anger. Then depression follows the guilt. We feel bad; therefore, we try to find things to compensate for the bad feelings. Addictions often arise at this point. Addictions are things in which we bury ourselves, often to cover negative feelings that arise out of thought of feeling that life is unfair.

But then, everything happens for a reason.

If you consider that there may be meaning in the disappointments of life and that the universe is compassionate and wise, you will be able to open yourself to authentic power—the real power within yourself.

1) Learn to control your negativity. Your life does not have to be unfair.

2) You need to put yourself in a place of surrender. Be open to the possibilities that can change your life—they may bring you a greater sense of joy and fulfillment.

Then, we should be happy with our life, even though our dreams seems to difficult to grasp or fulfill. Then we walk around and stop by at essential brew cafe to chill out again. We both have a cheap teas( $3.50). We actually just kill time reading magazines and just doing nothing till 11pm.
eet sam at HV ,...go to coffeee bean..share brownie talk abt life...then go to essentiabrew to hv another round...ear

Fitness first

Sam messages me through msn asking me to go gym with him. I am surpised that he ask me to go with him because he does not join any club at all. He is inviting me to Fitness First gym which he just join. Well, I accept his invitation actually. We meet at China Square at 2pm. Then we walk to the new buidling at Georgia Street . We take fifth floor to the gym. I am so astonished by the pool which overlooks the whole city landscape. The place is cool.

When I enter the place, It seems that everyone is wearing the same tee, which I thought today there is some corporation or organization is having workout day. I am told by Sam that the members can get the tee for the workout. It is one of the exclusive benefits . We change into gym attire and do some cardio for while. I see Leonard teaching bodyjam in the studio. Then we loiter around the cafe first while waiting for the class.

It is Sam's first time to attend bodypump, but for me, I always attend such class at california gym. I help him to take the weights and tell him that it will be very tough class. We both stand behind and do our best to finish the class. Apparently, Sam gets attention from the instructor, Maverick. He seems like to pick on Sam always. From the class, the girls here are much better than those in California gym. Then, we continue to do bodybalance. I am not sure about doing that cass because I am wearing shorts. There will be certain pose or position that I need to bend and that causes embarrassment to me because people from behind can see my white underwears and the shape of my private parts protruding . Hence, there are some positions I just stand there like an idiot. Somehow, Sam and I cannot do certain same positions . The girls are even checking us out, especially these two babes.

After that, we change into swimming attire and proceed to the pool. Apparently, we are the only guys who wear swimming trunks while the rest of the guys wear shorts to the pool. Sam says that we are comfortable in our own skin. True enough, we are the only one who are good looking and have bods. We both get a lot of attention in the gym and pool. Of course, Sam is much better looking guy than me. These babes also join to the pool. Apparently, they are flirting with us. Also, there is times that we are swimming across the pool and these girls purposely cross the path and cause us to disrupt our swim. I just stop and smile at them.

After a while, we just end our swim because we are very hungry. I do not like the idea of going to the changing in trunks, hence i clad myself with towel across my waist and other across my shoulder. I am not impressed with the shower room, steam room and sauna . It is quite small actually. I change faster than Sam, hence I go to the front counter and exchange my lock card to my NRIC. The girl says that, we both get a lot of attention in the gym. Somehow, I feel so honoured that we get attention constantly. That's hot.

After that, we go to Don Pie's cafe as Sam loves the pie very much. We have a quarter pie each and share the drinks. It is quite nice and large serving but quite expensive. Then we walk to Burger King restaurant to have another round of dinner. We even have free chicken tenders and cheesestick beside the meals. We don't even finish up the foods. I am already full with just a whopper burger plus I am not that feeling well . We stay awhile before going to HMV by train. We are just bumminga round the shopping center.

Then we go to the club after that since he has not been to one for so long. Yes, Sam inviites a lot of attention in the club because he is very good looking guy. Poeple just approach him to know him and ask for his number. Sometimes, it can be very inferior to go out with good looking poeple while you are just a plain jack/jane.We cannot deny there is the presence of superficial nature of today' society. Hence people like me need to strive harder for physical perfection - more appealing, attractive and more succesful. Good looks and Sucess are mutually inclusive. Sam am not that bothered much about the unnecessary attention he receive. He projects a self-assurance that shows he has always been accustomed to attention and favourable treatment

However, there is nothing wrong to be merely average, ordinary, plain. Beauty is easy to recognize and hard to define. We know how it feels to be judged for our appearance alone. Terrible.

relaxing

It is labour day. I am trying ahrd to be more positive because I have severe headache which stop me to do revision. I meet Sam again later at Delta pool for a tan. I am late, as usual or maybe he is always early for any meeting. Once I reach there, it is getting cloudy and there is no presence of sun at all. Hence , my intention to get a golden tan is gone. We just have a leisure swim .

We take a train to Tiong bahru SC to have our dinner. We have Chicken Curry Meal at KFC and hang out awhile there as it is raining. Then we take train to Buona Vista and then take a cab to Sam's house at Holland Road as he wants to join me later and he wants to put his stuff at home. We chill out at his house for a while before taking a bus 7 to Orchard Road. It is still raining.

Our body still ache due to strenous exercise yesterday. My legs are just wobbly at times. we go to borders awhile to read some book and listen to music. Then we walk to the cineleisure since we stay long enough at Borders.

Then lincoln call me and ask me to meet outside borders but Sam and I already cross the road . He also cross the road but I just cannot see where he is. Then while crossing, I call him where he is now and he says that he is crossing the road and coincidently I also cross the road. I get weird as we do the same action. I ask him and turns around. There, he is just beside me when we chat through the phone. It is such a close promixity. We all laugh because it is comical to chat through conversation while he is just beside me while crossing the road. How drama!

Then we go to Zara boutique as he wants to buy some vest for his working. I bump into my good friend, Kern. It has been a long time I have not met her. We have so much things to catch up. She together with her friend, lin join us to hang out together since she also knows sam and lincoln as well. We go to coffee club . We have so much things to chat and have a laugh together. I am amazed with he knowing almost everyone's star sign including me. Her friend is also nice and friendly person too. I feel happy with them around.

Nothing can be happier than having a good friends together and have fun.

We talk about the roles of close friends and one's partner and its importance. Especially when one enter into the relationship. Or we prefer to choose to live in friendship hemisphere. I afraid of relationship because people around have their relationship that eventually does not work out will only result in misery and tears for both parties. If people want to go into relationships not knowing where they are heading towards, it is bound to be a journey that they regret embarking upon. It is not easy to build a relationship

Friends are important and we should maintain ties with them, going out for a cup of coffee to hang out or just plain meeting. Stick with your friends because they will stick with you thick and thin and can provide you the emotional support your partner cannot. However, one should not forget his/her commitment to the partner at the same time. Imagine how you would feel if the partner tells you that you are below his/her friends? Hence, we should dismiss the misconception that maintaining a friendship is more important than a relationship because it will last longer, partners can come and go; Somehow, what Sam says that there are issues or subjects we cannot share and tell to our partner but we feel at ease to tell our secrets to our close friend. It is because we want to maintain the clean image and have a good impression of us to our partner for long and we do not want to hurt their pride and feelings for our mistakes or dark secrets .

I don't believe in becoming and staying good friends after break-up. Things are not the same when the end of relationship ends with hurt, disappointment and incompatibility, let alone being a good friend. It is just ridiculous. A friend and a good friend has two different meaning. But of course, I despise those in the relationship tend to neglect their friends totally . The law of nature does not work that way. Enough said!

After that, Sam goes back home while Lincoln and the two girls try to find the place for karaoke session. I am not a keen fan of karaoke plus I does not bring much cash along with me. I already promise Derek to go clubbing with him plus today entry to karaoke will be exhorbitantly high due to holidays.They skip the idea and go in their own ways.

I take bus to meet Derek and have a blast with my good friend again.