I had lunch at Canteen B.I love canteen B

I got E for my quiz.I was a little disappointed although seeing E is common.Although it's possible to succeed by griting my teeth and pushing ahead,I just think I do thing not right or smart.Practice doing the right,better or hard thing every day need self-control.And I want it to be habitual.Where is the hell is my manpower?

Another hurdle for willppower? I went to study at NIE library.I washed my face to freshen up and start doing constructive study.Alone but fulfilled.I started to change focus on the pleasure and excitment that awaits me at home.I lost concentration after 2 hours.I started to go home.

Taken from second floor at NIE library;Try NEWater and loads of works

I went to gym to train up my biceps/triceps and back.After that I went for a jog.I was pleased that I could run non-stop for 2.4km at the track. I just went back home to catch up with American Idol show.It was a Motown time and I love Motown.

Treat every unpleasant task the same way.Anticpate the future pleasure!

Today I was impressed with Ben during the presentation. He was really a charismatic speaker.I thought everyone was blown away by his way of presentting his part on China and economy. I really needed to know how he develop his presentation and speaking skill.Morever he is good looking guy.I think he would go far with such skill.HUMPH!I was so disappointed with my performance.I really need to acquire such skill to take full advantage of the ever opening up opportunities.I want to be charismatic speaker like Ben.


I learnt that the world is too small , sometime you can never escape from reality.When I went to gym at SRC.Ming Hui came over and ask if I was the Mr Singapore last year contestant.I was like..................arghh.......... Admitedly yes,I was. He was going to join the pageant this year.Something in common. I never knew he is a model.Not that I despised models but I had bad experience ( forever bad ones) with them especially guys.Have you heard about two male models broke into fights at member's bar at Zouk because they felt insecure? lame right? Too bad I did not witness that himbotic catfight.Back to Minghui, came to realise how fragile and small the world is, I was kinda of weird , funny and shocked.Apparently I did not work out much today.Waste time? Perhaps no, just trying to recover from the shock.

That experience was meant to be my darkest secret in my life.I will elaborate the himbotic journey during that period some other time.Cry!!

Alistair and Me - A new friend

Mon

I seem to have almost lost concept of time.My world frozen,captured at the moment.Maybe it's because I've grown used to my own companion.Almost exam is approaching and I'm going to be catching up with all the work I had to do.I still need to finish up two more project and Pamela gave me last minute change about my part.Damn Pissed!Strange how I began liking to study and in such a short space of time I've changed so fast to other end of spectrum.Is change a good thing, inevitable as it may be

Nostalgia.Fondness for certain period of past.That's how I feel right now.I had flashback of how my life used to be.Simple!The people in my life are also constantly changing.Try to hold onto as much of my past as i could.And deep down, the things that were most important to me will never fade because memories kept in my heart could not be erased.Except my youth.

This was Jimmy's birthday at East Coast Park last 4 year.Time flies!Everyone seems so Young

Today achievement:
I managed to do serious weight-training ( thanks to MingHui for being so patient to spot me)

I went to study at canteen B at 2pm alone. It was humid and hot.It distract me bad.Maybe I need/hire a mentor or learning center that can help him improve my organizational, study, and time-management skills.

Some tips on how to get focused:

Be absolutely clear about why you're studying and what you want to do.
If you are uncertain about your goals then you will be distracted easily and waste time.

Allocate the 24 hours in your day to the important things you want in your life - study, friends, family, sport etc. Allocate sufficient time to each of these activities.

Use a diary to monitor how time is spent. Recording how much time is spent on a particular activity will help you improve your self-discipline and determine how well you are managing your time.

Practice managing your time effectively. This is a skill that will help you not only at university, but also as a working professional

Keeping exam nerves at bay

Exams are one of the cruel certainties of university life. Since there's no way of avoiding them, the best plan is to prepare well to maximise your success on exam day.

Tip 1: Preparation is the key
This doesn't mean reading set texts or half-heartedly completing problems or essay questions found in textbooks.

Answer exam-style questions at an exam pace. Find copies of past exams and practise them in a mock exam environment - within the time limit set and with no breaks. By getting used to completing two or three hour exam papers you'll be prepared for the real thing and won't suffer from 'brain overload'.

Tip 2: Look after yourself!
Preparing for exams is stressful - but you can manage the nerves by following a few simple rules:

Eat balanced, nutritious meals
Get eight hours of sleep each night
Don't have coffee or any other stimulants, especially at night
Exercise regularly
Try to relax
Avoid arguments

Something to disgest.

hi

Yes! Julia is in town. I met them at Ponderosa at Raffles City at 6pm.But I was quite early today so I just chill out at jazz counter at HMV in citylink before Hung Yong call me that they are trying to book a table for us. Been a long time I met Huiting and Julia, still maintain their sweet charm.Hui Hui and Bee Lan came later. We had fun and laughter.Making fun of one another. Last time we were together when we were on trip to Kuala Lumpur. And Hung Yong is wearing the PMK shirt.He look more stylish and up-TODATE.Just a little catching up with shallow topics: Hairs, Bird flu, My English, Movies, Food and Horrible cauliflower.

Julia and US

Zuwa UNITED

Raffles City

Since we could not decide the place to go next and I did not wish to make any decision as everyone is entitled to his/her opinion.We play round the table game where everyone suggest a place to go and let Julia decide.She played a hostess ( sound crude?) for today since she would be going back to Hong Kong again.We start from the youngest to oldest in age -
Hui Hui - Watch Movie
Hui Ting - Sing karaoke
Bee Lan - Pubbing
Hung Yong - Drinking session
Me - Bowling ( bad suggestion anyway)
verdict - None -> We went to fullerton hotel as there was chill out lounge with live band ( According to Hui Ting)Nevertheless,We could not find any and we walked to Embargo but too noisy, we walked to esplanade to visit Harry's bar but too crowded.At last we hang out at Pacific Coffee Bean cafe before we were heading home at 11pm.

Fullerton

OUR palms

WE

I made a first trip to NIE library to study.However there was no internet network.My airport utility did not detect any server so I just prepare my power point presentation, the equation sheet and other reading up.

I think it's so hard to complete an assignment. I have borrowed few books.I didn't get to even half but I got sick of the book so I returned it.The next book I managed to read to slightly more than half but I think I'm returning it soon. I have no mood to complete a whole book.It is so wordy. I do not feel like reading so I can't seem to finish it up completely. The ending is always the toughest, just like when you're studying for exams. The process seems fast and smooth when you're at the start of your revision but towards the end, the last few pages of your entire study notes, you start to slow down, can't seem to be able to concentrate.Why?Distraction?Bored?Dumb?

This type of challenge did not suit me well. I'm not an escapist. We can't run away all the time, refusing to face up to our greatest fears. Like the best way to stop fearing dogs is probably to own one. Life is too short for us to catch up with all the time. So I guess that's it. I'm gonna stay on and do what's expected of me. Period. *GRIN*

NIE library is really a good escapade in the campus at the moment.It is a definte hang-out for me beacuse it suit me and my lifestyle.Better still, it is good for people gazing.Struck!See me in cafe libris at level 3.

Chances are there are times when fun is forgotten in our life. Things we do everyday seems like drudgery. It's painful, boring, and at times even stressful.Maybe we're just temporarily burnt out and don't feel like doing anything.I have been punishing myself when I don't perform up to my expectations.I change my lifestyle from late night to early sleep and waking up late to waking up earlier.Need adjustment.No time.4 Weeks to exam period.Hard to stay positive.

At night, I went for motivational training. I tried to jog around NTU using bus 179 route without stopping.I was quite happy with myself;I only took a pause once at the high slope somewhere before Communication and Information building.Yeah, that high slope. I found myself really out of breath. When I slowed to a walk, I felt like I was having a bit of a hard time getting a satisfying breath of air.So I stopped.Then I was in control again,I continued jogging non-stop. Achieved.The running itself was the motivator, as my endurance level increased, I felt better, "jiggled" less, and best of all…I am getting toner! Silly to say that because one day of running don't make one have a desirable shape.Word of motivation.

I walked from NTU to home to catch up with American Idol.Truly satisfied, Matt's out!He was so superficial.He was being watched and judged by his fake behaviour - Trying hard to be true american dream.Bleah!

Yesterday, maybe its the devil in me, and maybe its me, but I'm glad I aware of it. It make me feel a tinge of regret that i don't concentrate during my journey to Bugis.I called my friend about not meeting him to collect my money but to realise that he already bought the wireless card for me just after his tutorial. That put me into shame, terrible guilt. and i think that is important to remember and regret.

I should be more flexible when I am open to new points of view. I show a gentle nature by not arguing when I don’t have enough information on a topic. Being open to a new perspective and setting aside previous prejudices shows adaptability. I also show flexibility when I am willing to challenge a friend who is taking an unnecessary risk. Challenging stretches and develops personal growth in friends.One more thing I hope I act , not just empty talk. Hard to change but I will try

Today, I made a good discovery. I would make a lot of trip to NIE library.I realised that it was very conducive , happening and cool place to study and hang out. I felt more like at home than I was at library 1 or 2.Hardly I saw any scholar and hardworking students in NIE. See me around in NIE premise.

Regret

I woke up by my father at 1230pm after noticing the notes i pasted on the fridge.It wrote " Wake Me Up at 6.30am because I HAVE test later!" Supposedly it would give my mum a sense of urgency to really wake up damn hard - Splash water, Put 5 alarm clocks near my head. Seemingly my body was not biologically adjusted to such treatment. My mind was not working at all. But I did some research about my sleeping cycle. I would wake up after 6 hour of sleep.

I quickly rushed to school to meet Terence ( IT savvy guy) to help me scan the picture for my M141 project.I was really dumb , using technology I was not familiar with.Vanessa was using scanner so we waited for about 1/2 hour for her to scan three picture.I guess she also a bit bimbotic using the scanner.Hey! no worries about me degrading her - bimbo are beautiful lady who think simple.

Am I manipulative? I had a fierce argument with a friend which will sour and even destroy long-time friendship.Here is the scenario - I ask him to buy wireless card for me.It was meant as a my sis's birthday gift this coming thursday.He would not mind going since he could go to Sim Lim square after his tuition. Coincidently his tuition was postponed to today and suggested me to go tomorrow by myself.I got little pissed. I blasted him off for breaking his promise and cancelling his trip there. Having sharp-tongued, he blasted me about how I was going to compensate time and efforts for helping me and I took things for granted. I had bad experience with some bastards regarding last minute cancellation to help me. The he even said that he helped me out of goodwill and he did not own me anything.He called me petty and I called him calculating.Clearly he said that I made use of him for my own convenience.Woahhhh! Sound bad! Fine I suggested to meet him early morning to collect my money back so I can go there myself.I can take MRT there.

Am I taking advantage of people when there is oppportunities arise?Am I that selfish? Am I that fucking snobbish and evil? If I have a judgement about myself that I was the one, or if I carry a charge about "selfishness" then that is what I will create, or see, coming back to me, as my mirror, from others. It's their judgement about me.I can not do much.Seriously, I will take those harsh judgement for granted, not friendship.A little disappointed!Not sure with me or him.....

Anger

I went to Canteen 2 early morning ( 8.30am )to meet up with Terence for study session.It was a real surpise for my mum as well as me that I have motivation to wake up early.I had my breakfast - fried rice with eggs and potato fritters. I did some serious revision as I did not bring my ibook along. That ibook really distracted me much.I went back home at 11am .

Then I took a damn long nap after my lunch.I started to travel to school( Canteen B) again to do revision.I gave my running schedule amiss.I knew I was going to regret for being lazy.I was so worried about my ever-growing flabby tummy.I was sinned for having night supper every night.I just could not resist good food.WHERE was my discipline?Julia icq me that she will be in singapore this tuesday.Totally honoured that she only informed me and bee lan.Or coincidently we were both online.Look forward to meet her soon.I was totally flattered too that Bee Lan read my blog.I had several sleepless nights just to update my blog.But I did not complain.

I received a sms from someone whom I made a silly vow not to make contact with again.I was about to sleep when I received.So, I did not reply 1) I was too sleepy ( my eyes were shutting down) 2) I want to give him a taste of his own medicine - to get the same treatment he gave to me earlier.Sometimes I support revenge, but I know that it is very bad. I think that the people who do not revenge are very clever, patient and tolerant. It`s cleverer not to revenge. but revenge is sweet.

LIFE

After only 2 hour of sleep, I went to school to do two important task. One, to submit my term report to my M302 Professor ( I was even unsure whether it was him I should hand over to ) and second to finish up my M401 report.Doing the report using ANSYS again and again, really create worse out of me.I could get easily pissed off, irritated and annoyed.Luckily there was no one I came across today.I had time deadline to submit.I did not even have any contents.I was really put under pressure this morning. I just simply dumped whatever information I could get from internet to make it into 20 page report.Relevancy is other issue, rather than not submit at all. My report cost $5.15 because the pages were mostly printed in color.The color printing in library cost 60c. I felt fulfilled when I managed to finish my work under pressure. I went home to catch up with my sleep.

My weekend had becoming more boring and less exciting. I did not hang out in town,shopping or even clubbing. I don't really feel like writing about my whole weekend.I went to fetch Terence nearby and headed to Canteen B. There was so much revision to do and a catching up to do.But I did some discovery about ibook. I could not elaborate about it much or else I may get the risk of being fined or faced with lawsuits.After that we went to Clementi Road to have Nasi Lemak as supper. Been a long time we did not have our supper here.I missed their hot chilli and variety of side condiments.

Nasi Lemak Stall I always frequent
1) Clementi Road for its variety and good grade rice
2) Boon Lay market for its nice chilli
3) Changi Village for the cheap price

Thursday was the day that really put me into anger management.Since I did not have anymore supply of my contact lens, I resorted to wearing hazel colored lens today.I was not used to new look i sported.I just put on my shades to go to school for the meeting.

1st scenario
I showed my part to the group members.Somehow there were people did not like my work.They said I should improve my part further.I was like a litlle pissed off. I was the only one who showed my part in hard copy.They did not know how much research and effort to make it look presentable and relevant.After acknowledged the suggestion from them,I end up still being hurt or upset or whatever, but then I can't really say something because I did not wish to create a weird scene. I juast hope to just say what I feel and leave it at that. If what I say pisses off someone else, they need to deal with me. I get mad at other people sometimes, they can be mad or irritated at me once in a while too. So then on top of still being upset but telling the other person I'm not, I wind up pissed off at myself because I was people pleaser.

2nd scenario
Disappointed with a friend named IRRESPONSIBLE. I suppose to get the invites from him for the CLEO magazine for 50 eligible bachelors thingy. I promised my two girlfriends I would get the invites for them as well as their friends.I thought I would have fun hanging out with them at zouk later. IRRESPONSIBLE told me that the one who had the invites did not bring with him.He told me to call his friend to settle the problem between him and me and dare to tell me that he was no longer be part of the case anymore.I knew I would not get the invites but I tried and hoped for miracle from meaningless.Bias exist between us.We did not know each other well although we do know each other existence. Will he trouble himself for a sttranger to go home,take the invites and give to me? Apparently not.I was even considered a friend as well as I did not provide him any rewarding advantages. This problem woould not surface if that bastard did not do things at last minutes.I was not that stupid.How can invites be collected on the day itself? I really hated to break the news to my girlfriends - I am not trying to impress them or so ever but it did not give a good impression of me although they know me well...

Usually when something upsets me, I'll acknowledge my feelings to myself and whomever I got pissed at, and not feeling guilty about doing that. But today, I did not wish to argue with him. So after I acknowledge my feelings, I immediately decide that the friendship with people who think of himself and claimed to try his very best to help me ( YEAH RIGHT ) is not worth a friend.This make it like I'M the one with the problem because I keep trusting him. FUCK!

But I need to learn how to let stuff go more. I did not want myself being holding a grudge against the person... I need to just let it go. I acknowledged what needs to be acknowledged. No matter how pissy I want to feel it won't change what happened. It was just a shitty situation that happened. Yes, my feelings are hurt. No, I can't change it. I'm sure I'll do something that will piss him off at some point too. I need to not be so hard on myself and allow me to just be human. I am certainly the last person who can judge - I am so hopelessly flawed myself. But end of the day, I would not forget that bastard had done to me and this will make me more cautious about people who just say ( to help ) but no action done.

Suffering

Twice, the different tutors did not pick me to answer the tutorial.Blessed?Wary?Wondered?Of course I was not frantically waved my hand to get my attention.A little paranoid.I just think too much.Today I suffered in silence but still put on sunshine smile.Because I still put on my contaminated contact lens and they caused my eyes itch like hell. I kept twitching my eyes especially under air conditioned rooms.I paid price for vanity. I did not do my M401 report today because I need to study for my quiz later.

At 12pm, I met up with my M140 Group.They are fun bunch of guys - sincere, playful and real.Been a long time, I had experienced pure laughter.Then I went to library to do some revision for later quiz. Kinda of total waste because I could not absorb any information and being irritated by same problem.

friend suddenly pretend not to know and avoid me

It is ok there are people pretending not to know me.It is ok there are people trying to avoid me.It is ok there are people treat me like I am invisible ghost.I can take it.It all happened at gym.Well, it can happen anywhere, actually. I seriously did mind people just acknowledge my presence by smiling or waving at me. I also know how to read body language.social outcast.Why,I didn't fit in with the majority of the people. I may be from a minority social, ethical, religious, or racial group. That did not make me have a physical or mental handicap that made me different or caused us to feel like a social outcast.This really made me pissed off. I would not be withdrawn from people and fill my mind with hatred and inferiority.Friends come and go.I should focus on re-creating my relationship with God.Because it is eternal.

It may sound a fake intention, but who cares because I need myself to improve in any ways.
I am grateful to GOD today for:
1) allowing me see a beautiful day again
2) my health
3) having a little perserverance to finish my projects
4) having helpful friends
5) sharing my smile with new people

Things need to be improved
1) Feeling of envy/jealousy
2) Acting snobbish
3) Having little discipline

Inspiration
In God's Eyes

by Monica

I don't understand why they treat us this way,
We are not that different, inside were all the same,
We should not be judged by our religion or the color of our face,
Because in the end, we're all running this same race,

I wake up each day and I want to run away,
Away from this world of cruelty and shame,
And I think of the joy that our world could have,
If we all stop this madness and never forget that in God's eyes,

we are all the Same

I discovered that my present time planner did not work .So i took whole night improvise it so that it becomes systematic and innovative, but of course to enhance my capacity to achieve my goal and probably my dreams.I woke up late, rushed to school to meet up with my supervisor since there was no meeting with M438 group.

I was worried about my present situation regarding the final year project but come to realise that my project was changed to what my Professor regarded less complicated to the present one.I was like....WHAT!??? Those journals and research materials became a waste papers.Guess I had to read up again on Sputtering deposition of gas diffusion electrodes in PEMFC.Wow!sound tough.

Today, I have realized that in my attempt to better my Life, I totally ignored my life.I put on my spectacle, and walked with a pride.I did not care.So today, things have changed for me though my life is the same.I check off an items on my daily to-do list, I began to feel more in control of my time and my life.I start to get more realistic with time constraints and priorities. And ever since this temporary transformation took place, I have known my self to be a happy man, being myself. Life is still unpredictable self though. That did not stifle my dreams.

Life
So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon
Life, oh life

Firstly,It began as not such a great day to have a weekend.The rain was so intense that there was flooding somewhere in Singapore.I did not even enjoy my weekends like last year.I feel like I'm silently screaming for help and no one pays any attention of tries to hear me.I can't control anything anymore. It's all out to get me!I felt strong surge of loneliness. I just stared blankly at the ceiling.I felt empty inside.I better put more sunshine in my blog with hope and inspiration.If God send me one angel....Guess He did.My beloved cat greeted me with sweet purr and warm rub against my leg.Is it the time to look for love? Guess not.

Loneliness had been my best friend, for years. Trusting me to make judgements and allowing me to follow my own path was already a mistake.Days gradually changed from freedom to restriction. Staying positive is sometimes hard. Emotions feel different somehow. Wishing for past days when I was carefree without trying so hard. Some days the way I was felt fake. Having to think so much just to stay strong.Hah!. But I wouldn't want the negativity I've felt in the past haunted me in present times.


Loneliness used to be just a word. Now it is a part of me on sad days. But I won't regret this feeling. At least when I'm lonely, the feeling is real. I am revealing raw emotions. My true self even if others can't see it. Being myself.................................................

There's this fear
That lives inside of me
It's my companion
And at once
I love it and I hate it
It's loneliness you see
This fear inside of me
And I want it gone
But I also want it to stay
How does one conquer this
Invisible force
I cannot want it
And yet I do
Conflicting views
Yet they are a comfort
I need someone to call
My own
But there's no-one
'Cause no-one can see my soul
"Help!" I cry out in despair
But I'm not heard
And everyone just walks by
I'm guessing this is my destiny
My forever
And one day
Not far from now
My final cry will come
Not in vain
Because it will remove my life -
The stain

Promise

I did not wake up on time despite receiving a morning call from terence upon request.I broke my promise to meet up my supervisor.I did not know what the outcome would be.I was sure I would not give a good impression at all.I did not feel that it was the right time to meet up with him since i knew nuts abt the project.I went to school after my lunch for a visit.Right, He was not there.I guessed I was late.Well, I’ve got responsibilities, so I do know what that’s like.  And it is true that my sense of urgency was getting dulled now.  But somehow I never got the things done it supposed to be. It hasn’t for me.  So, throughout the years, as I was being diverted from the right direction, but walked to my path of my dreams, empty dreams.

I did some research and borrowed books on manufacturing process for my M141 project before i went back home.It was damn crowded today because admission talks for undergraduates-to-be were held today.Luckily I dressed up which i usually did not on saturday.Maybe I could read the premonition.I stay at home, trying to recuperate my itchy eyes.The old,same problem came back again.Worse, my supply of contact lens is finished.And I still had not received my allowance. I could not do anything without without money and my eyes.Trouble!!Retarded!Insecure!

Is something wrong, is there a reason why we're putting up a fight
Don't be ashamed to open up your heart
To help me make it right and now you're gone, well what am I to do
It's not a thing I like to do
Can you pull me through into a better day
You believed in me and that i won't forget

NUs, sunny, study, amk

Suprisingly today was very sunny.I just packed my jogging attire and headed to NUS to meet David.I needed him to give pointers on my FYP.I just loved going to NUS.I used to do my revision there at Eusoff hall overnight.NUS is more happening than NTU.NUS really enrich undergraduate's campus life and allow it to develop its own colourful and interesting character.People there are simply beautiful and well-dressed.I felt that this is the place I belonged to.If one was totally dressed up in NTU,people just blasted that they try to be cool and insist that is not the way NTU undergrad are supposed to and that’s how things always will be - boring, gray and safe. I don’t think so.University life is all about socialisation and you gain a lot from it. Not just the knowledge in books, but knowledge of the society and studying in the University gives us opportunity to attend social programmes. And so, our perspective and knowledge may be broadened. I ain't a role model or a public speaker.I realised that my life is NTU was wasted.Maybe I should visit David more in NUS.

I walked from Science faculty to Arts faculty just to take bus 151.Well,I waited for a few days to see the heavy rain go away but unpredicatably, It was hot and humid today. The weather really took its toll on me.I sweated like hell.Worse, My eyes were giving me trouble again.I went to Ang Mo Kio to buy some Mac software. There were not much choice and the software i intended to buy ( Corel Draw 8 ) cost $18.I only had $10 in my pocket.MISERABLE! I start to go home by MRT, postponed my intention to go for a jog at YCK stadium...My eyes started to give trouble.

At 9pm, I have became a chaffeur of my darling mother. My parents believe that it is both imperative and essential that we should get a car.Having a car in our possession would not simplify things and my life.It would ultimately help themselves enjoy a less stressful lifestyle. Now admittedly, I would not like to become a chauffeur, slaving to my parents' every command, but I would drive them around when necessary.I was obliged to do my mother's bidding.I fetched my uncle and drove to my grandparents' house.My uncle worked in wet market( I think so ).Somehow he managed to keep and choose the fish and other seafood before being dumped. They should not be kept overnight so my uncle took opportunity to select those who were deemed eatable. If we were lucky, my uncle brought us lobster, salmon tiger prawns and other expensive white fish fillet.Tonight he brought tiger prawns and some white fish to be put in the freezer at my grandparents's house.Then we travelled to my other uncle;s house to give his share.because of that, I missed half of the America Idol; Uncut, Untalented.Bleh!

At 11pm, I went to Canteen B with terence to do some revision till 3am.It started to get pouring and it was really poured heavily.I hated to drive in such weather but because I did not wish to worry my mum so we decided to leave early.

REsult

I looked haggard, tired, gone......... I have M405 Quiz. I was given a chance to revise my M405 at last minute, although I was reading up the material whole night.I was mugging the topics I did not even understand at all.Worse my level of conciousness was damn low.I also got distracted by ibook.

My tutor is one damn smart woman.She did two different sets of question and gave it to us alternately so that anyone next to us would receive different question and there would be no secret discussion.As for me, it did not matter.I definitely score zero , with confidence. THERE WAS NO CALCULATION but THEORY............I gave my best shot even I still don't know,to make an educated guess. My odds of getting it right will be still insignificant even if I can eliminate even one guess.I went home....Took a long nap...

I just watched the American Idol wildcards results show.I was so happy to see Jennifer Hudson got into top 12 finalist.She was such a sweet, baby-faced girl who sang my favurite songs.I just could not wait to see her eccentric, weird, disastrous wardrobe in the incoming American Idol.When Jennifer Hudson did not make it, then I will be shocked. I honestly think she is the best vocalist of the entire group tonight.I even did a standing ovation in my room.Her crybaby routine can work wonders for sympathy voters.She got my vote. Honestly, I was surpised with Paula Abdul's choice: Leah Labelle. She liked Let's Stay Together, maybe like she chose Trenyce over the same song too...Too bad....Katie Webber could not get it.....Anyway she is beautiful...

Believe In You and Me Lyrics

I believe in you and me
I believe that we will be
In love eternally
Well as far as I can see
You will always be the one...
For me
Oh yes you will
And I believe in dreams again
I believe that love will never end
And like the river finds the sea
I was lost, now I'm free
Coz I believe in you and me
I will never leave your side
I will never hurt your pride
When all the chips are down
I will always be around
Just to be right where you are
My love
Oh, you know I love you, boy
I will never leave you out
I will always let you in
To places no one's ever been
Deep inside, can't you see
That I believe in you and me
Well maybe I'm a fool
To feel the way I do
But I will play the fool forever
Just to be with you forever
I believe in miracles
And love's a miracle
And yes, baby you're my dream come true
I was lost, now I'm free (Oh baby)
I believe in you and me
See I was lost, now I'm free
Coz I believe in you and me

I woke up early , reached to the tutorial room on time.I realised that My tutor was late for almost half hour.Surpised as he usually be on time for tutorial and more surpised that the students mostly are early.Suddenly I experience a mental block or "freeze up." while doing my quiz.I said to myself, "This test will not permanently affect my life. I am going to feel calm and relaxed -- I should do fine!But I could not.I just got anxious.How could I experience MENTAL BLOCK.Anxiety is suddenly created by my expectations or thoughts about what was likely to happen - Failed. I was so desperate. I peeked, cautiously at the tutorial answer that were being placed beside me by this girl.

I was totally drained out, I decided to skip all the tutorials and lab.Everyone must have thought I was stoned, sniffing some marijuana or hashish as I was like a living zombie.I just don't bothered or rather unaware of everything, everyone around me.My mind was occupied with the past or future, with no actual basis in present reality - worries, failure, pressure.I was totally bonked. FUCK!

I didn't really have a good day today. I had a horrible day. Yes. Truly!School really had a hold on me.I could really feel the pressure suddenly.I had my moments today and seriously it was depressing.I hold on to much high expectations about myself and future , that might gave me additional pressure.I was not truly appreciate those.Why am I here? I don't get it. I listen to these sappy love songs and I feel sad. I watch movies about love and friendship and I feel worse. I read other people blogs and I am the lowest. I am going to personally blame Singapore. They have made me have unrealistic expectations. Real life isn't like that. But it really is so much better outside.I should not think too much and simplify my life.I should just let go.

Inspiration

Changes in habits or lifestyle are often motivated by personal dissatisfaction. I who become dissatisfied or disgusted with themselves might finally decide to do something about it - Staying late and waking up late. I don’t think there are many people who would dare say they are truly satisfied with themselves. While they may not be disturbed by their physical condition or external appearance, they are not pleased with their soul, their emotions, attitudes, or even personality. We all desire to be different in witnesses to a widespread dissatisfaction one way or another. We look at other people and wish we had some of their characteristics or traits. Of course, we might be surprised to learn that other people might be looking at us and feeling the same way.Anyone?

I went to school at 6pm, meeting Terence and Rachel.Rachel drove us out to have a dinner.She suggested to eat at coffeshop she frequented when she lived in the neighbourhood before, but we ended looking for the place she described which Terence and I knew no existence of it because we used to hang out with our secondary school friends during early days.Maybe she may have information stored away in her mind but are unable to recall it if the right cue or "handle" is missing. In other words she may confused about the location she had long time been not revisited.she may be unable to recall it. She called her friend, recalling that the coffeshop is blk 958.

I never knew there is a coffeeshop , quite near the hall 5 ( about 10 minutes away)I did see some hall 5/4 people having dinner there and they are beautiful.Such a happening place to chill out.Thanks Rachel for introducing us the good place although I did not have my dinner because I had mine at home.She drove us to canteen B. She tried out my ibook. I hoped she did impressed with the mac technology.But She need some times to get used to it , just like me when I got hold of it.She kept herself busy striking conversation with joycelene through icq while i busied myself doing some revision for tomorrow quiz.Such a small world, she knew joycelene( My student Union OGmate)

We left at 11pm...I continue studied my M302 quiz.I began to feel pressurized.

My IDEAL laptop - lime green

Time-waster

It was raining when I woke up.I guessed my plan was foiled.I'm in sluggish mode this morning, in need of a strong cup of coffee.It rained off and on the whole day, and was quite heavy as I travelled to school. Worse is, I don't have the energy to go to school for just a very short meeting.Since it was raining,it allowed me to bring out the umbrella. And for your information that how much I hate to carry umbrella, especially foldable one. OK, maybe the rain is not so bad.Just that the umbrella did not compliment me well.I need it to protect ibook from being wet.Umbrella is only something one appreciate ONLY when you need it.I truly appreciate the opportunity today to love my brolly.

I met terence, passed my ibook to him, travelled to CAD/CAm lab to meet cynthia and had a super short discussion, then met Terernce, then went to bench near Coffee Bean cafe to get connected.I did not go gym because rain did not stop at all.

Gloomy Monday huh. When it rains in Singapore I got little pissed off.The rain brought an ugliness and a depressing gray to those who got caught by it. I never got people who appreaciate rain.Will anyone? It was dark, cold, and uncomfortable. It ruins my shoes. It wets my pants. It negates my hair product.Blah!

But somehow I should not be whiney about it.Water is always used to symbolize Paradise.Therefore,water is the essence of the gardens of Paradise. It flows beneath and through them, bringing coolness and greenery, and quenching thirst and never gets stagnant.Hence we should be blessed and appreaciate beauty of natural landscape to fill the human soul with faith, joy, happiness and life.

Water essence

Bored

I woke up quite early but my dream to attend Surf & Sweat shattered.....

The reasons for not attending:
1) Bad Hair Day ( wrong haircut )
2) Fat Body
3) No Buddies to go with
4) No money
5) Tiredness
6) No Beachwear

Back to sleep

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNG YONG

Today I did not managed to meet Cynthia to discuss the M438 project due to over-sleepness.I guess I let go of doing my project and got myself stressed later when the recess ended.I took bus 174 to Orchard to meet Hui Hui first.On the way there, I bumped into Alex. Coincidence!We went on trying on the latest technology with our handphone - Bluetooth Technology.To Alex ,the Bluetooth connectivity is very cool, though the range seems considerably less than 10 metres.We have the capacity to exchange data with each other as our handphone were equipped with Bluetooth and, more particularly, is free.But My N-gage is meant for playing games......not exchanging data.

Hui Hui and I went shopping for Hung Yong present while waiting for Bee lan to come. She came late because she ended falling asleep.We managed to get Pure Milk Blue Shirt for him ( Smale Size ).Somehowe we both thought he needed to change his wardrobe. He had to be more adventurous in choosing clothes, not just black, dark blue, beige shirt.His world will be a dull place to live in if he always wear clothes of the same style and color.Life is colorful, so we should not be clad in dull colors but use exciting new color.But of course, the clothe we chose will still preserve a sense of his own value and personality.Not flamboyant type but the color and appearance will make a him look younger, feel cool and confident.

We had Dinner at Magic Wok retaurant at level 4.We ordered quite number of dishes about 7 ,which cost only $32.Hung Yong treated us and I was like ..whoooah! It supposed to be our treat.
1) Seafood Yellow Mee (gravy)
2) Thai Belacan fried rice
3) Tom Yam Lala
4) French fried sotong
5) Pineapple rice
6) Fried thai vermicilli
7) Sambal kangKong

We went to Max Brenner's Chocolate Bar (8 Raffles Avenue, #01-06/08 Esplanade Mall)by bus.I seriously did not know what to choose.Nothing much to choose since mostly were not available, to out dissapointment. I ordered waffle thing,Hung Yong ordered a prata-look-alike crepe and Bee lan ordered Blondie under the waiter's recommendation.Lastly Hui Hui ordered fondue, a unique invention by Max Brenner. You can dip strawberries,marshmallow, bread, banana with three choices of chocolate;white, rich and milk in a potppouri-like aparatus, warmed by a tea-light candle. it would be nice when the chocolate and those consortment were well combined It is wonderful!But of course it was so sinful to my body.I got breathless indulging rich food like chocolates.I gained weight now.

Bee Lan ordered a hotshot of cold, bitter chocolate. This chocolate drink tasted bitter.Yuck!You could get high although it came in very small expresso shot.Gosh! Been a long time I had been enjoying chocolate buffet, especially with good friends.We had fun because we celebrated Hung yong birthday at Max Brenner's.

We went to Embassy since they had a Studio 54 themed party but then there was no one inside so we decided to take a stroll along the Singapore River enjoying breeze untill Bee Lan decided to watch movies since it was only 10.30pm.We went to Marina to check the availability of the movies shown.We ended up watching Big Fish at Cineleisure after booking online with the help of Hui Hui's sister and Bee Lan Debit Card.I did not know it was so convinient to book online.Time to get Debit card soon.the show started at 1.05 am so we hanged out at Long John Silver's a while. Hui Hui talked about her trip to career fair at Suntec. Then they talk about the responsibilty of bringing up the child after marriage.These were the topic I wish to avoid and escape from. I would not like to share with them my thoughts that best describe what I feel occasionally.Have you ever felt so bad, so depressed for the simplest of reasons? Have you ever, upon introspection, felt that your life was going nowhere? I will be evaluating the those aspects of my life, such as my love life and financial state, and that is when I get my dose of existential blues. Jaded I am!!

Tim Burton's "Big Fish," adapted by John August from Daniel Wallace's book "Big Fish: A Novel of Mythic Proportions," is a drearily affirming bit of whimsy about how life wouldn't be worth living without tall tales, or even short, fat ones.

ill (Billy Crudup) returns to his Dad's death bed (Albert Finney) pleading for the old man to actually tell the truth for once. But Dad has been telling elaborate stories about his own youthful adventures and isn't about to change his drill.

We slip back in time with Tim Burton into Dad's wild stories. Dad's time as a secret agent, as a performer in a circus, as a wooer of Will's mum (Alison Lohman and then Jessica Lange) and as a door to door salesman get the Burton treatment with Ewan McGregor excellent as the charming, skilful, brave and debonair young Dad.

There's a big fish of course, and a werewolf. There's a witch and there's a beautiful, fanciful depiction of what heaven might be like. Steve Buscemi's pop eyes, always welcome, slip about. Tim Burton must have great dreams. He's also blessed with the opportunity and ability to put them into feature films.

Fish tales are commonly exaggerated. Big Fish celebrates tall tales. Idiosyncratic American singer/songwriter Loudon Wainwright 111, a larger than life character himself, plays a dead leader of a dead town. Perfect!

Big Fish celebrates imagination, be it the stories of an old man, or the colourful film musings of one of cinema's great stylists.

Steve Baker

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNG YONG

Today I seems to enter into the world of insanity.The guy besides me shake his head vigorously as if he was being hallucinated by the music being played in his CD or just being attacked by mild seizures.Then there was this middle-aged man experienced a gradual mental deterioration.I could observe behavioural sequences found inhibition, escape and displacemen.He showed repetitions of sign language to himself which I found amused because some of the movements reminded me of para para dance I did at California Gym year ago.Maybe his organic disorder is caused by different parts of the brain being damaged-something that's physically damaged or just result of a psychological experience;He wanted to lose most or all touch with reality,could be.Then another old man picked his nose so deep that I could not even see his finger.Gross!

However much we may be personally convinced that we can tell the normal from the abnormal, the evidence is simply not compelling. It is commonplace and they don't need to be judged by society the stupid things they do in their life that They "SHOULD" be doing, and for the most part don't make them any complicated, but their lives any more silly and foolish.

You want to do things that you're ashamed of? You want to keep being embarrassed about your behaviour? You go right ahead. We have no obligation to you to be yourself but bear in mind, We live in Asia.Do some case study on Suzanne walker being media whore.

I went to king Albert Park to do some study, ended up creating remix using GarageBand.I was trying to explore more of my ibook.Then we went back home ard 0030.

ibook

I went to YMCA McDonald to meet terence for study session.Then we headed to the Funan Center to collect my ibook.So exciting to get my ibook.We tried hands-on at Funan center McDonald. It was very beautiful. Then we went to Sim Lim Square to buy blank CD, Wireless router and optical.It was the most expensive shopping spree I had done.Supposedly to buy wireless card for my sis but it was out of my budget.Perhaps next time.

I went home to set up my router....................I went wireless....I am free to surf the net everywhere - kitchen, living hall or even toilet.cool!!!! I went to school to try out being wireless with the help of Terence. I was amazed.......I can surf net everywhere now. Thanks MUM!and DAD!I will repay back once i earn...............

hi

Every Man's dream

To have the body of Chuan Do
Find a stimulating job
Play a sport
Buy your dream home
Travel to an exotic destination
Have more time with your family
Establish your own business
Double your income
Become involved in the community.
Develop your creativity
Improve your skills
Create a plan for your financial future
Have more fun.
Enhance your current relationship or find a new partner.

Hunger Comfort Hygiene Energy Fun Social Bladder Room Style

Reach for the lasers with Antic's Sims-ulator!

I woke up damn late today.Apparently I waste half a day, recuperating the vigorous exercise yesterday.I just rushed to school library to do whatever I i required to do. I hed my breath, listening to my own heart.It was filled with laughter.I exhaled, thankful that one saw me, smiling to myself.Guess, I slowly moved out of the unhealthy lifestyle that i had been leading for past month, and I knew that it would take some time for me to be reaccustomed to the life , I previously had.

The gym started to fill with people.The crowded gyms can be annoying and can effect the intensity that I wanted train at, particularly when supersetting.I did not finish one particular exercise and go to the next one finding that you can't use it because some group of guys taking turns setting there sweating over the machine i want to use. Hogging the gym is one of the unethical code of behavior in gym.I just left early and had dinner at canteen 2