Thursday was the day that really put me into anger management.Since I did not have anymore supply of my contact lens, I resorted to wearing hazel colored lens today.I was not used to new look i sported.I just put on my shades to go to school for the meeting.
1st scenario
I showed my part to the group members.Somehow there were people did not like my work.They said I should improve my part further.I was like a litlle pissed off. I was the only one who showed my part in hard copy.They did not know how much research and effort to make it look presentable and relevant.After acknowledged the suggestion from them,I end up still being hurt or upset or whatever, but then I can't really say something because I did not wish to create a weird scene. I juast hope to just say what I feel and leave it at that. If what I say pisses off someone else, they need to deal with me. I get mad at other people sometimes, they can be mad or irritated at me once in a while too. So then on top of still being upset but telling the other person I'm not, I wind up pissed off at myself because I was people pleaser.
2nd scenario
Disappointed with a friend named IRRESPONSIBLE. I suppose to get the invites from him for the CLEO magazine for 50 eligible bachelors thingy. I promised my two girlfriends I would get the invites for them as well as their friends.I thought I would have fun hanging out with them at zouk later. IRRESPONSIBLE told me that the one who had the invites did not bring with him.He told me to call his friend to settle the problem between him and me and dare to tell me that he was no longer be part of the case anymore.I knew I would not get the invites but I tried and hoped for miracle from meaningless.Bias exist between us.We did not know each other well although we do know each other existence. Will he trouble himself for a sttranger to go home,take the invites and give to me? Apparently not.I was even considered a friend as well as I did not provide him any rewarding advantages. This problem woould not surface if that bastard did not do things at last minutes.I was not that stupid.How can invites be collected on the day itself? I really hated to break the news to my girlfriends - I am not trying to impress them or so ever but it did not give a good impression of me although they know me well...
Usually when something upsets me, I'll acknowledge my feelings to myself and whomever I got pissed at, and not feeling guilty about doing that. But today, I did not wish to argue with him. So after I acknowledge my feelings, I immediately decide that the friendship with people who think of himself and claimed to try his very best to help me ( YEAH RIGHT ) is not worth a friend.This make it like I'M the one with the problem because I keep trusting him. FUCK!
But I need to learn how to let stuff go more. I did not want myself being holding a grudge against the person... I need to just let it go. I acknowledged what needs to be acknowledged. No matter how pissy I want to feel it won't change what happened. It was just a shitty situation that happened. Yes, my feelings are hurt. No, I can't change it. I'm sure I'll do something that will piss him off at some point too. I need to not be so hard on myself and allow me to just be human. I am certainly the last person who can judge - I am so hopelessly flawed myself. But end of the day, I would not forget that bastard had done to me and this will make me more cautious about people who just say ( to help ) but no action done.
1st scenario
I showed my part to the group members.Somehow there were people did not like my work.They said I should improve my part further.I was like a litlle pissed off. I was the only one who showed my part in hard copy.They did not know how much research and effort to make it look presentable and relevant.After acknowledged the suggestion from them,I end up still being hurt or upset or whatever, but then I can't really say something because I did not wish to create a weird scene. I juast hope to just say what I feel and leave it at that. If what I say pisses off someone else, they need to deal with me. I get mad at other people sometimes, they can be mad or irritated at me once in a while too. So then on top of still being upset but telling the other person I'm not, I wind up pissed off at myself because I was people pleaser.
2nd scenario
Disappointed with a friend named IRRESPONSIBLE. I suppose to get the invites from him for the CLEO magazine for 50 eligible bachelors thingy. I promised my two girlfriends I would get the invites for them as well as their friends.I thought I would have fun hanging out with them at zouk later. IRRESPONSIBLE told me that the one who had the invites did not bring with him.He told me to call his friend to settle the problem between him and me and dare to tell me that he was no longer be part of the case anymore.I knew I would not get the invites but I tried and hoped for miracle from meaningless.Bias exist between us.We did not know each other well although we do know each other existence. Will he trouble himself for a sttranger to go home,take the invites and give to me? Apparently not.I was even considered a friend as well as I did not provide him any rewarding advantages. This problem woould not surface if that bastard did not do things at last minutes.I was not that stupid.How can invites be collected on the day itself? I really hated to break the news to my girlfriends - I am not trying to impress them or so ever but it did not give a good impression of me although they know me well...
Usually when something upsets me, I'll acknowledge my feelings to myself and whomever I got pissed at, and not feeling guilty about doing that. But today, I did not wish to argue with him. So after I acknowledge my feelings, I immediately decide that the friendship with people who think of himself and claimed to try his very best to help me ( YEAH RIGHT ) is not worth a friend.This make it like I'M the one with the problem because I keep trusting him. FUCK!
But I need to learn how to let stuff go more. I did not want myself being holding a grudge against the person... I need to just let it go. I acknowledged what needs to be acknowledged. No matter how pissy I want to feel it won't change what happened. It was just a shitty situation that happened. Yes, my feelings are hurt. No, I can't change it. I'm sure I'll do something that will piss him off at some point too. I need to not be so hard on myself and allow me to just be human. I am certainly the last person who can judge - I am so hopelessly flawed myself. But end of the day, I would not forget that bastard had done to me and this will make me more cautious about people who just say ( to help ) but no action done.
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