I woke up early , reached to the tutorial room on time.I realised that My tutor was late for almost half hour.Surpised as he usually be on time for tutorial and more surpised that the students mostly are early.Suddenly I experience a mental block or "freeze up." while doing my quiz.I said to myself, "This test will not permanently affect my life. I am going to feel calm and relaxed -- I should do fine!But I could not.I just got anxious.How could I experience MENTAL BLOCK.Anxiety is suddenly created by my expectations or thoughts about what was likely to happen - Failed. I was so desperate. I peeked, cautiously at the tutorial answer that were being placed beside me by this girl.

I was totally drained out, I decided to skip all the tutorials and lab.Everyone must have thought I was stoned, sniffing some marijuana or hashish as I was like a living zombie.I just don't bothered or rather unaware of everything, everyone around me.My mind was occupied with the past or future, with no actual basis in present reality - worries, failure, pressure.I was totally bonked. FUCK!

I didn't really have a good day today. I had a horrible day. Yes. Truly!School really had a hold on me.I could really feel the pressure suddenly.I had my moments today and seriously it was depressing.I hold on to much high expectations about myself and future , that might gave me additional pressure.I was not truly appreciate those.Why am I here? I don't get it. I listen to these sappy love songs and I feel sad. I watch movies about love and friendship and I feel worse. I read other people blogs and I am the lowest. I am going to personally blame Singapore. They have made me have unrealistic expectations. Real life isn't like that. But it really is so much better outside.I should not think too much and simplify my life.I should just let go.

Inspiration