When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

ADJUSTMENT
"the mediator, adjuster,
arbitrator"
You have a deep love for simplicity, clarity,
fairness, and balance. You have a great
ability to edit, synthesize, and research
ideas. Your sites are turned inwards, as shown
on the card by the masked eyes. Alpha and
Omega are symbolic of your need to complete
that which you begin. You have little
tolerance of complexity, as shown by the
webbing in the background.


which major arcana of the thoth tarot deck are you? short, with pictures and detailed results
brought to you by Quizilla

dd

I went for the post-Bangkok gathering with girls again at the Plaza Singapura. We managed to chill out at Pablum cafe introduced by Juliana.It was nice place, good ambience and definite and different style of projecting their foods - fashionable.Bee lan and Hui Hui would be late so we ordered the food first.Somehow I got the feeling that we were still in bangkok, especially when the waitress/waiters did not even look like local.Medallyn ( Unique name) brought the photo. So Nostalgic.I did not know I looked like Jonathan Pang.Thrilled.Quite a number of the pictures were so priceless because four of us did not shot some of the pictures using digicam.Thanks medallyn.I realised that the conventional camera produce nice photos.

Then when Bee lan and hui hui came, I used my ibook to make a presentation of our pictures accompanied with Fantasia barrino's version of You're always on my mind after transferring juliana and bee lan's photos from their digi cam, Except Hui Hui.We talked and recalled the experiences and happy moments during the trip.We laughed heartily, just like good ol days at Smoothies Cafe at PatPong.Beautiful.Medallyn and Denyse were such sweethearts.

But What disturbed me was the sentences " Seriously Detoxified himbo who.......".

Pablum Cafe At Plaza Singapore

Before we parted to our own ways, I asked a little request from them to vote for me.They really moved me to tears ( very dramatic but I did not do any crying).The small act of letting my ego can create a huge amounts of happiness in the lives of others and me.What a waste it would be to fail to use my power.There is no need to be stingy with dispensing laughs, for unlike money, I won't run out of it by giving it away.Just the opposite.The more I give away, the more I'll receive.I felt good being in the groups with them again.I hope they (Bee lan, Hui Hui and Juliana) forgave my foolish behaviour.


At night, My family and I went to IMM to do some grocery shopping.I was quite tired but nevertheless I was still the one who ended up driving there.We did a lot of buying, especially me.I bought all those fruits and other stuff for my detoxification diet these week.Then after that, we had supper at nearby cafe before heading home.Fulfilled!

hi

Dear Juliana,

If you're serious about becoming a weathy, sophiscated, healthy, influential , cultured and UNIQUE individual, keep a journal.Don't trust your memory.When you come across something, write it down.The discipline makes up a valuable part of my learning, and the journals are a valuable part of my library.

I must admit, if you got glimpse of my journals, you'f have to say that I am just an ordinary guy with full of inspiration and hope.I'm not just commited to my own feelings, I'm commited to life,commited to learning new concepts and skills. I want to see what i can do with seeds, soil,sunshine nad rain to turn them into the building blocks of a productive life.

Hence keeping journal is so important.I call it one of the few treasures to leave behind for the next generation.In fact, future generations will find these treasures far more valuable than your tools of technology.

Journals: the ideas that you've picked up, the information that you gathered, the experience that you lived for and ambitions that you wanted.The journal writing is one of the greatest indications that you're serious student.It is a little challenging to be a student pf your own life, your own future, your own destiny.take the time to keep notes and to keep journal.You'll be so glad you did.What a treasure to leave behind when you go.What a treasure to enjoy today!

Secondly, Take a lot of pictures.Don't be lazy in capturing the event.How long does it take to capture the event?A fraction of second.How long does it take to miss the event?A fraction of second.So don't miss the pictures.When you're gone, they'll keep the memories alive.

Your Crappiy, yet sincerely
Esjay

I was quite bored and stressed up after receiving the email whose contents did not look good at all.So I smsed all the old friends to meet up. I went to the HMV to easy-listening for while when I bumped into Aloysius with his girlfriend, a beautiful one somemore.He still unemployed after quiting his job at the DBS bank.Suddenly felt alone.Felt not so good now.I went to the Holland Village to meet with David and Kien at Burger King.I bumped into Brandon Choo, the ex-manhunt winner 2000 ( I guessed ).We did exchanged eye contact but I did not bother to do some PR with him because he was a guest judge for Union Pageant 01 when I was a chairman.Somemore he always trained at Clementi gym.

I met them at Windmill food court, had Mee Rebus cost $3.I bumped into Nick and his friend there too.Am I some kind of Bumper?Then after meal, we headed to the Burger King and waited for Terence.David and I talked about the bangkok trip, somehow he had more fun than me.Sighs! I would still go to bangkok ( city of angels ) again.I was part of the Bangkok.I missed bangkok when we talked about our experiences. I tried not to talk much, hopefully not making Kien left out.Then two of them left earlier , leaving me, terence , Nick and Ridza at Burger King.


After Supper, we went clubbing together. We had fun again together.Nick was such a magnet in the crowd.Reach home at 5am.

I was chatting with terence, regarding me being disqualified in the competition due to the Bangkok trip.My mind told me to go to the website to check out, realising that my picture was featured inside.I came to realise I was still in the competition.I was so excited and showed and told my mum about it.Thrilling! I knew that on saturday their photos were take in the studio unlike mine.I better activated everyone to vote me.28 is my code.

PPP 28 NRIC send to 78742

I went to takashimaya library to borrow some detox book for well-being.Then I spent whole day at YMCA McDonalds to do some reading up and planning for whole day.Actually, I just want to show my new thai army tee shirt and hairstyle.Lame!

Fantasia was an American idol for this season.No surpise though.I just wish for Latoya to be one.Believe written and produced by Tamyra Gray was so beautiful and uplifting.I never she had that talent.Beautiful.

I woke up late, after having anger management from yesterday event by talking about it with a good friend.Now I am new person, and forgiving one, although is hard to do.While the ego will always remain a strong part of who I am, it is time to let go of the ego to free myself and begin living a life of conscious change and loving. LET GO MY EGO!Consider all the friends who care about me.I should be more open-minded about the mistake people made.

I did my laundry for my soiled clothes during my trip, had my lunch, played with my kitty - then suddenly i felt so tired and took a nap again.Then I went to the King Albert park McDonalds to have my dinner.Somehow, the taste of the meal was so different - getting delicious.Guess,I just missed meat for 6 days.Time to watch the American Idol 3 finale.

Pissing off at bangkok last day

I woke up and checked the time from my ibook.It was 6am.It was still quite early so I slept back , ending up late for my breakfast.So I quickly rushed down for breakfast since the girls did not wish to since they got sick of the buffet of same variation every day.But then they would regret to realise that they added a congee section today.It was damn crowded, so finding a seat is an another chore beside choosing the breakfast meal.I put my meal and my drink on the table, as an indication that the place was taken.But when I came back, my place was taken by some bastards.I got pissed off.I just left my second helping somewhere and went back to my room.

It was quite early so I just do my packing up of luggage, instead of disturbing the girls' sleep.I called them at 9am, since they thought of planning to go to Jacuzzi.But then no one answer the call.So i assumed they might still sleeping.I spent another hours,restlessly watching TV.I called again at 10am, even knocked the door.Still, No one called my answer.So i just left a note at the door, and proceeded to the swimming pool for tan and jacuzzi, hopefully might find them there.Consistently, I kept looking at their windows while tanning.I got bored.I went back to room and gave another try.Still, no one called.I was getting a little worried or may rather restless as usually they would pick up my call.I went to the lobby twice asking whether they checked out already or they left the key at the lobby.The answer was negative.Hence I thought they would be in hotel room.So I went to the market near the Makkasan railway station to look around, then hang out at the bakery cafe for my quick bites.I went back to hotel room.I dialed the room number again and just left ringing.Suddenly I heard the door opened, and Bee Lan answered the call.She asked me to go to the room.Suddenly I got pissed off.

Bee lan told me that they bought a lunch for me.I was like going huh.I asked her where did they go just now.She told me that they went to the market to buy fruits.I asked her why she or rather they did not call me to join them.She told I was not interested and had no money too.I was damn real pissed to hear that.I just went back to my room and did a final packing.I went down with intention to but a proper meal but then the checking out is at 12pm and now it was 12.30pm.When I was not in very good mood, the world and I would never look good.My bad behaviour start to unleash.I started to show bad attitude towards them.

I was really stupid since they think they knew how to take care of themselves without me.I am a guy, and being a guy, I hold responsibilities to look after them especially when we were in foreign country where sometimes we did not what may happen next.It was quite depressing when suddenly I felt insignificant and knew where I was standing in the group.I did mind that.It was more upsetting that they did not have any common courtesy to inform me what is happening like going out,although it was just a mere informality.I was asking them to seek permission from me, but a little commited in the group.Their selfishness( not thinking abnout others ) and eagerness to shop pissed me off. Rather than getting worried about them, I should have spent more fulfilling time exploring bangkok during 5 hours.

After checking out, I went to the Partunam market, searching for the local fruits. Clad in glamourous tee and stunning shades, the only consolation to be happy, I bought mangoes (10baht), Lychees (15 baht), Jambu (30 baht) and rambutan (10 baht).It was quite a distance from Bangkok Palace Hotel to Partunam Market and horrendous weather.I bought a drink from 7eleven and travelled back home.I just could not wait to go home.Trip that was not that enjoying.I gave that black face for rest of tge journey.

I would not BE moved by them being nice to me
1) Buying lunch for me
2) Buying a packet of jambu for me
3) Putting my luggage at their trolley
4) Sharing the Banana split with them
5) faking amazement about my packing of luggage
All I need is just a sincere apology from them yet I did not even hear from their damn bloody mouth.

While on plane, I had my meal that did not make me full (it was horrible), and the service was much worse than flight to Bangkok.At least I watched Magic kitchen starring Sammi Cheng and Jerry yan ( both were my idols) for at least 1 hour.It was very funny and corny.Somehow Bee Lan did look a bit like Sammi Cheng if she followed her hairstyle.Hey, I still pissed off with her.Landed at 8.07pm, Took taxi with Juliana.I guessed Juliana took a courage to start a conversation with me whether I was still angry with them.It did not matter whether I still or not since it was over.I just let out my feelings and instil some guilty conscience in her and maybe them.I felt good at least.Juliana said that it was all beacuse of communication breakdown.Bullshit!Totally!! Anyway I did have fun with them.And I was still waiting.......

Lesson Learnt: Never go overseas trip with girls.

gorgeous

Partunam Market

World Trade Center/Sky Train

Dinner ar COCA at Siam Square

Cafe

Cafe

mess in my hotel room

.........................

Breakfast at Ceaser Palace

Parasailing

Coral Island

Watching Thai Cultural show

greetings from T

I woke up early, surpisingly.We had breakfast at 7.45am at Bangkok Palace Makkasan Coffee Shop.The varieties of breakfast were very wide.We seems to take everything that caught our eyes

Breakfast at Bangkok Palace Hotel

In the bus

Outside leather factory/River boat

Outside Dragon Inn

thai waiter

Sricacha Tiger zoo

Drag queens at Alcazar

Outside Alcazar

Hard Rock cafe

Glutinous mango dessert

First Day in BAngkok
I still had to go to school at 9am to do my hand-ons experiment with ZengCai.I lost focus of the procedures guided by him.I was totally screwed up with calculations of moles and molar volume or chemistry ( I lost touch on Chemistry).maybe beacuse of the excitement of going to Bangkok tonight.I told zengcai about my trip so I had to rush my experiments before 3pm.But he manage to let me off earlier.Guess he also need to go for lunch and prepare for his trip later.I went back home and had my lunch when I received a call from ScreenBox about me being selected and wanted me to go down personally on Saturday for briefing, which I could not make it.Guess I lost my opportunity again.Sighs

I had done my packing and decided to call juliana whether she wanted to accompany me since the MRT journey is very long and I would get bored alone.But then she went to airport early plus she went weith Zhong ren.I surpised them with my glamourous shirt and pants to the airport.It was my first time taking train to Changi Airport.Luckily I was not the only one who have a trolley luggage.I meet them at 5pm. Met them at Burger King.They were schocked to see me dress so smart.After checking in and put our luggage, we went to duty free shop and did some browsing before heading to the waiting area.Truly excited.I sat beside Bee Lan.I have rice with fish combo meal while Bee Lan had Chickens with potatoes combo meals.I watched some show and played some games during the plane journey.I did have problem with console.The air stewardesses are so pretty and friendly.

First Time In SQ plane
I headed to the toilet, frantically look for the door knob to open the door.I felt like an idiot when this kid just pushed the door for me.Bleah!Then after peeing, I keep looking for the flush.I just could not find it.The announcement was made so I just left the toilet without flushing.Dun worry, I still washed my hands

Before the landing, My ears somehow felt so painful because of the pressure difference during the landing.I really could not endure the pain until the air stewardess took notice of me, and kindly teach me to blow my nose hard until i hear a pop sound.POP sound!!!!I did as she instructed me, miraculously the pain was gone.I felt good.

We landed at 8pm.After the administration, we were approached by the Jetview Tour guide who would send us to the Bangkok palace hotel.The journey was only one and the half hour only.We were welcomed by the thai bellboys.After checking in, the bellboys took our kluggage up and we paid him tips.Then we unpacked our stuff.Bee Lan decided to stay with me since it was twin bed and no point combining two bed with three girls sleep together.After that , we went down to the lounge.I saw my friend with his friends at the hotel lobby but I did not call him beacuse they looked quite rushing for something.

We hanged out at lounge , dedicating a song for the singer to sing
1) Right Here waiting
2) Hero
3) Reflection , by hui hui and bee lan
We enjoyed the music and our drinks too, then we took our chance to try playing pools for two games.Then we back to own room and slept for the next day event

I'M SO EXCITED
Pointer Sisters
(Words & music by TREVOR LAWRENCE,
ANITA POINTER, JUNE POINTER & RUTH POINTER)

Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen,
Tonight we'll put all other things aside.
Give in this time and show me some affection,
We're going for those pleasures in the night.

I want to love you, feel you,
Wrap myself around you.
I want to squeeze you, please you,
I just can't get enough,
And if you move real slow,
I'll let it go.
I'm so excited,
And I just can't hide it,
I'm about to lose control
And I think I like it.
I'm so excited,
And I just can't hide it,
And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know I want you, want you.

We shouldn't even think about tomorrow,
Sweet memories will last a long long time.
We'll have a good time baby don't you worry,
And if we're still playing around boy that's just fine.

 

I met my indirect suprvisor , ZengCai regarding my project.Again,the objective was changed.Did he or My supervisor know that it needs money to print the related journals and waste time and my depleting brain juices to read those wordy journals again and again to get familiarise.Mind you, those were not magazine whereby you can read over and over.

I packed my lunch from canteen A and went back home for lunch as well as having a quick shower.The weather is scorching hot.I came to realise if the weather in bangkok would be more hot and humid, I preferably stay at Hotel ( Bangkok Palace Hotel). The best thing about this hotel is, they have jacuzzi, swimming poool, gymnasium and sauna.

I met Andre for a while and he taught me how to save money printing the journals.

Then I went to meet my supervisor with Zengcai to discuss my project in more detailed procedure.Both of them would be going for holiday soon so I will be doing my project by myself.Talk about the freedom.I should ask David regarding my new objective:Electrodeposition.

I went back home , lazing around, learning thai.watch Daddy's girl,Missing and Utt show, Smallville,Holland V.Suddenly I just could not sleep beacuse i was too excited for the bangkok trip.My mind tried to visualise those anticipating fun at Pattaya beach and shopping spree.My trick was to drink one cup of coffee.In few minutes time, I dozed off.Don't ask me why why Coffee have diverse effect on me?

I WAS PLAYING WITH MY SIS'S PUSSY

Today I was going to meet Juliana, Hui Hui and Bee Lan at Chinatown Point to amke the payment.However for me, I still have not yet get the money from my parents hence I have to pay mine when I collect the air fare tickets.Hui Hui had a new hairstyle,make her look good.Everyone seems to be so excited about the bangkok trip. After payment, we went to the McDonalds nearby to discuss the itinenary.Our Bangkok trip is this thursday. I'm quite excited.I have not gone on a holiday that far - Mostly was Malaysia, so this will be a welcome getaway from life as I usually know it.I came to realise that I had to pay back the money my parents pay for.Imagine them behaved like a little girls excited over small matters like getting a dolls each.I am excited but I could show my feeling.So unmanly!I just smiled.EXCITED!!!

Actually I still had so many things yet to settle
1) Still not yet master my Thai language
2) Doing my FYP project
3) Meet up with Edmund
4) Getting the lean bod before heading to pattaya
5) Doing the itinenary program for them

Hence my excitement fizzle-out after initial period of excitment.I had 4 days to settle.So I hope the Bangkok trip will be fun trip for me, especially when these girls are the shopping maniacs from hell and they and I have nothing in common in shopping.humphh!I Do hope I did not end up buying things for my sister and my mother.My motive for bangkok trip is to buy everything ranging from shoes, clothes, bags to accessories for the next semester.

I met Bee lan at 2pm.But I was confused with People Park Complex with People Park Centre.Bee lan was pissed off for my ignorance.Seriously I hardly went to chinatown.Not a place to hang out too. We walked around ,been to one of the tour agency that cost us $448 full board - must follow tour guide whereas we prefer free and easy tour package.So we walked around again and came across the Fuji World Travel Pte Ltd to the bargain.We were welcomed by the chinese lady who was so nice and patient listening to us and our expectation.Somehow Bee Lan and I was going on honeymoon with twi kids.Gosh! I felt that old.After all the expectations were made, we managed to get the price of $437 for 5days including one day at Pattaya.

Then Bee lan went for facial while I went back home.On the way home, I was worried about my mum objection of me going to Bangkok. She is very conservative mum, and needs some assurance to make her more understanding.I more concerned about the money. How can I raise $1K next month to pay back my father and other outstanding bills. Worse I did not even start my FYP.Suddenly I felt so stressed, at the moment.I just worried.I pinned too much expectation on myself to be perfect, yet I achieved none.It freaked me out during the journay home.My mind was in the mess.I ended up sleeping early at 9pm.How to beat fatigue and stress.

I have been spotted by very close and good friend during JC days, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, catching up briefly since we last met at his wedding.He was getting fatter and fairer.Life must been good for him.Nevertheless,still got that sheepish character.I went to accompany Kien to Plaza Singapore for his treatment.I had lunch at food court before I started to travel to Chinatown ( people park centre) to look for good bargain

Seriously I did not know anything about Bangkok trip.It was a wasted trip.I saw Felicia who also scouting for the tour agency to go bangkok and hongkong.I called Bee Lan that it would be better for both of us to come down together and search for the package since Hui Hui was not free.Seriously, If there would be any mistake, I did not want to hold it by myself.This is not Malaysia ( KL) trip where I was more familiar with.Anyway Today things did work very well for me.I guessed it was my behaviour and some demon possesed ny soul. I got pissed off with Terence for not helping me to scout the agency together and he said that it did not even concern him at all.Fine!

I took train to meet kien and then headed to Yio Chu Kang for weight training and running session. Suddenly he started to call my real name but I may be more familiar with them calling me esjay.I told him to call Esjay instead or else i just sit down at the bench until he did what i ASKed him to do.Being stubborn, he kept pissing me off by calling and even shouting my real name.Worse he even made fun of it too.I just kept cool and assertively said that he better call me by Esjay or else I would just sit stiil.Although I gain nothing but at least he lost his time and money and my friendship.There was no time to become stuboorn.Of course it was offensive to poke dun of people's name but his principle of life represents the my comfort zone being threatened and invaded by this ridiculous mentality that people, including friends around me always listen and bid to my command and he want not to be one of them .I thought that it was ridiculous, I mean why people must listen to me if they think it was wrong and solely onlky benefits me.I did not take adavantage of people. My struggle to break free made me even more uncomfortable... as my demand to be at his mercy was ridiculous — how should I waited for his apology to let go of me? Shouldn't i be the one letting the world go instead?So I just went back home.

I still got time to go zouk, so I drove and fetch terence and headed tp zouk since today they have guest Dj playing House music.Terence called Kien to join us but at last minute he declined the offer.I truly knew the reason of course.Whatever! Did not expect me to do apology and persuade him when he was at wrong for insulting me.It was still early. We had supper nearby before proceeding to Zouk.Been a long time I never been to zouk after that incident with IRRESPONSIBLE.I smsed Joe if he was around.Ternce and I went to Phuture to dance since it was Hip Hop session.So many beautiful people around.Surpisingly, I was a magnet for the different bunch of girls.Wherever I danced, there was sure a group of girls came and dance near me and Terence.It was really my first time to be indirectly approached severally by different groups of girls. I was even luckier that one japanese gal ( My type) had a hit at me.Seriously, being so dumb and stupid, I was shy and terribly ignored at her signals.Ended up she dance with othe guys...ARGHHH...Opportunities always never taken quickly.sighs! I should just go for it.Dissapointed, we went to the zouk to meet up with Joe and surpisingly Alex and his bunch of friends.I had fun,genuine fun.How I wished I have zouk card.I was supposedly part of the zouk crowd because they are gorgoues and I am gorgeous.At 2am, I got summon letter from TP police for section 4(1) : Did not put coupons.$30 just flied like that and I totally broke.I totally pissed off.

I woke up late, realising the green mucus covered my eyes.My eyes gave me trouble yesterday.So I just had no mood to go out earlier.I have my lunch , late lunch before I start to meet Bee Lan at City Hall MRT station.I took bus 174 and the journey took about 1hr.Luckily I was 10 minutes late.The city hall interchange was bustling with people.And I did not like it.We had dinner at Sakura Restaurant at Capitol.I have my usual Mee Goreng ( It was nice ) and Bee lan had chicken fried rice.

We went to Delifrance to discuss about the trip to BangKok. The atmosphere was nice but too bbad we could not log in.I did not whatever reasons. End up we did not do anything but to enjoy the drinks and each other company until Hui Hui called and suggested to buy newspaper to look for tour packages.It might be cheaper and safer since we did not know the place well.Bee lan made several calls.At most we can get the b argain was 5days trip cost $420.I had to go down personally to look through the detailed itinenary tommorow since most of them were busy.

I went To TAKA library to return book as well as borrow some book for my interest.Then Kien and I went to YCK gym for weight training.I was quite shocked to see someone whom Terence mistook him for me, for our similiarities.NOTE: He is far better than me.I felt quite weak actually, could not even carry heavy weight.Then we went for a run nearby stadium.After 3 rounds, I was losing my breath easily.I gave up hope to continue running.I lost my stamina badly since I did not went for a run for almost one month.Sighs!

I quickly rushed home to watch the American Idol 3 since tonight is disco night ( Donna Summer).I genuinely love disco.I love Donna Summer.Disco can make me dance.I was a disco king back then. I still own all of my disco albums and it was about 1990 when I started wearing bell-bottomed pants and tight colored shirt and buy a small disco ball. Being ridiculed for peculiar freak, I did not bother about the statements but the disco fashion was getting passe sooner or latter.I could help laughing at myself.

I was about to meet Hung yong when my mum started to throw the things around.My sister an I were quite shocjed because we did not anticipate such thing happened suddenly an felt surpised if any one of us did something bad.Phew! it was not us but my unclle and his wife hurt my mum's feeling.Sometimes How I wished to help her to bitch those people who hurt my mum's feeling one the eve of her birthday.I just hug and kissed her - wiped away her tears and told her that she is always an angel to us no matter what. People who speak badly of her were just jeaolus of her sincerity and selfless acts.Don't let them make her stoop to their level.Be strong and think for herself before others sometimes.

I drove out to NTU hall 13, to fetch Hung Yong, Jhong Ren and Jimmy for supper, maybe last one.Actually Hung Yong still needed to do so many changes for his FYP whereas Jimmy still needed to prepare the FYP presentation tommorow.They should have supper tonite.During the journey, I really felt out of place, seriously.They and I did not have anything in common.They kept discussing about the Final Year project. My task maybe is just to drive them to eating place.They definitely made me feel stressed and sad.Sighs.

Anyway, It was a first time for Jhong Ren and Hung Yong to visit Boon Lay marketplace.Maybe last time.Nostalgic.It will be.I had to thank Kent for introducing Jimmy in my life and thank Evarn for introducing Jhong Ren in my life.Coincidently, they were not from Student Union Orientation Camp.But they are definite few of the best people I knew in University.I am grateful.Now, I felt I was in the group back.Thanks for the time spent together.Too bad, Brandon did not join us as he was not in the Hall.Brandon, another best pal I felt comfortable with.Good luck for presentation, Jimmy.

Good Friends

I supposed to go school until I received the mail from my supervisor.So I waited for Terence to come to my house to do some photoshoot.Then we went to Bugis to meet up with Nick and his friends.The weather is so terrible I had to wear cap for protection.Sun can cause premature ageing of the skin.Hence, My enemy.I did not have a lunch with Terence at beach road because it was too expensive.Nick and his friends also just ahd a drink.Then I headed to lucky Plaza to have my lunch cost only $2 ( hainanese chicken rice) before I met Bunawar at Borders.After that, he went for tuition and I headed home.So boring.Time wasted like that.Damn it!!
Guilty!

Arvil lavigne: Complicated
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin in your car
And you're talkin to me one-on-one
But you become

Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watchin your back
Like you can't relax
You tryin to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're actin like you're somebody else
Gets me frusterated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turn into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No no no

You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you're somethin else
Where you are and where it's at you see
You're makin me
Laugh out
When you strike a pose
Take off
All your preppy clothes
You know
You're not foolin anyone
When you become

Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watchin your back
Like you can't relax
You tryin to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're actin like you're somebody else
Gets me frusterated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turn into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it

Today, the weather is so freakingly hot and humid.Even I was inside my home, I just could not stop perspiring.I just blasted all the fan available in the house to maximum.Sadly, We did not have any air-conditioner at all.I went to the KFC at Clemento Central to have my lunch.Supposedly to try out the new hot and spicy chicken meal until I was told that the chicken was out-of-stock.Dissapointed, I have to chooose same meal cost me $6.25 instead of $4.95.KFC dare to tell its customer that the chicken were out of stock when I saw so many original and crispy chicken laying neatly on the tray.Maybe It WAS out of stock.Worse, I did not even enjoy my meal as the power supply to air-conditioners in KFC was cut off.Bad Luck! I wish to find solace in the pool.

I met up with kien for the gym at Clementi.Mani was pleasantly surpised to see me, we did some little catching up.I missed her bubbly personality.Been about 4 years I had not seen her.She was now a mother of one.Today we trained shoulder and back.Thought of doing some jogging but look at the weather outside, enough to burn my skin.Summer body is out!I bought 5 cup of yogurts and HL milk since I did not bring my protein shake.Then we went back home.I dozed off all the way to home.Too tired!

Let me hide in your arms tonight-
Hold me there – hold me tight,
I’ve fought enough battles for a while-
I just need to see the comfort of your smile.

Today has been like all the days before-
Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing it for,
And tomorrow is just too far away-
I need you to help me make it through one more day

Today is Mother's Day, the day is a time of commemoration and celebration for Mom. It is a time of breakfast in bed, family gatherings, and crayon scribbled "I Love You"s.Yet, It was just another boring day.My Mum was not around by the time I woke up.Guess she attended some wedding gatherings with my grandpa.Anyway, her birthday is coming soon.So no point celebrating twice.It cost money.And I am totally broke, declared bankrupcy. I did not even kiss her when she came back home.Make my Mom feel special and thank her for her caring ways for day.Not my definite style.I kissed her when I was about to leave home , and I kissed her when she was about to go to bed.No big deal for today.Just that I did not cook today.

I just re-arranged my room into home office , with a dash of zen-style.Blasting Citizen King songs, I kept sorting my stuffs into a neat and proper manner.I will skip the notes-filing and Wardrobe arrangement.Too tired and the task is getting boring.Then I went to do my laundry; somehow to reduce my mum's responsibility as a mum. Anyway I should do my own laundry or even do my own ironing even though it took half hour to make my shirt crease-free.I am lousy at ironing. I learnt the skill of using washing machine during my stay in Hall 12 where I started to be independent.Kinda of amusing to flashback those days.Being vain, you would never catch me wearing same clothes for two consecutive days.Sometimes I would wear two different sets of clothes for a day.Just give self-esteem, simply.I would need two washing machine to do laundry and all my neighbours' railing to hang my clothes. Of course, got cursed by them.Who cares!

It is hard to be a houseman, Kudos to Maids! for their everlasting endurance.I can visualise that I will hire a maid in the future for doing those monotonous, mundane and non-profictable task to the maids.MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Dream Maid

Typical maid

I missed the 7am appointment for training with kien due to overslept.So I smsed him on my bed, telling him to change to afternon and continued sleeping. At 12 pm, had my lunch, I started cleaning up my ibook - deleting, sorting, burning the files to increase the RAM. It was getting slow.

As usual, I was late again to meet Kien at 3.30pm.When you were about to be late for your appointments, things did not turn out what you expected it to be.Cursed vulgarities within heart when the public bus came late, the traffic suddenly started to slow down specially today,the train made a long waiting time.People had their leisure to walk down the lane.Specially TODAY. It was like a chain reaction that pissed me off hard.

I met up with David and Kien at Clementi Gym.Been a long time since I trained here.Fond memories lingering on my mind.While Kien went for a short jog, I did a chest training with David.I assertively told him to try heavy weight to gain more muscle mass.He faintly said that he might not be able to do it.I said,put your mind that you're in a position to gain control over their bodies to deal with the challenges.I knew he could do it.And he did.he had me to help him push harder.No pain , no gain, right.Kien came and noticed that the weight David carried were above his 'limits'.He even said that it is not proper and correct training for him since his body composition was much smaller than me and It would be better to do step-by-step training especially for novice like him.Worse, He has that bitchy personal instructor to support him. I really wanted to blast her off.As long I know safety ( I attended the course by SSC) , there is not right or wrong procedure to achieve your dreams


I beg to differ.I think low reps are better for athletes.The stronger the muscle the less fibers that need to be recruited to do any one movement. Therefore the less the muscle will fatigue and the better the endurance.
Morever, he is a lifeguard.Having so toned and leaner ( passed off as skinny ) bods, people tend to judge by skin-deep and lose trust in his life-saving profession.So grow big.

1. GO HEAVY
The logic is pretty convincing that the more weight you use, the bigger and faster your body will grow.Use weight resistance to motivate you to lift harder and to force you to keep your body tight throughout the set. Interpret "heavy" as reaching muscle failure at a predetermined low level of repetitions

2. IF YOU'RE ABLE TO LIFT IT, THEN LIFT IT
That's the first principle of improvement. How do you otherwise breach that margin and take yourself to a higher level if you don't make the attempt? Every time you enter the gym, be prepared to try for one more rep or one more pound

3. PYRAMID YOUR SETS
Starting with a 15-rep warm-up and finishing with five reps. Add weight to each set so the point at which you reach failure progressively decreases to five reps at your last set. The first sets of an exercise should have higher repetitions in order to pump the muscles with blood for more tightness and to teach them to coordinate with each other under the stress of heavier weight. Your tightness and intensity will thereby increase with each set. A ceiling of five reps is high enough to prevent yourself from cheating, yet low enough to make sure your fifth rep is at absolute failure.

But I was wrong, David did not even serious in gaining muscle.I wondered what is his motivation to go gym.What the heck!After doing the Incline Chest press, I did my own training.Only when I need spotter, I will come to them for help.It does not pay being helpful.I could not be bothered with their ways of training. As long as I avoid overtraining. But doing overall training is considered over-training.

Inspiration

Then we had dinner at nearby hawker center.I had Thaksin Beef noodle ( good but damn spicy and hot) while david had Tom Yum noodles.Kien had a strict diet, he tried to refrain from eating outside food. Then we went to BK at Holland Village to hang out.Again, we surfed internet using ibook before we headed home at 10pm.It was considered a early time to return home.I did not feel like going clubbing.

Clubbing ruin your youth.
Clubbing waste your money
Clubbing make you a passive smoker
Clubbing cause lack of sleep
Clubbing sucks at MY age.

Did Laundry.Did cooking.Did mopping.Did watering plant.Did some cleaning up.

I begin to ponder what I wanted , at least this week.I was tortured by questions regarding my future.I tossed left and right on my bed, thinking.Why I experience more misery than happiness?How often do I do stupid mistakes?Instead of taking responisibilty, we may blame others, claim that it is not our fault, or insist that our actions were justified.I developed a negativity that continues to have a profound effect on contemporary thought.

Part of human is to accept that we are less than perfect and bound to make mistakes?I could not afford to make ones, especially silly ones.Immediately on awakening, I should be aware of the unlimited potential that greets me, as being me.Being aware of what I am, I may understand how absurd it is to hold grudges,harbor resentment, or take offense at the actions of others.I should SAY to myself, there is no room for petty thinking, trivial concerns, or inconsequential musings.I should start focus on the real and ignore the ramblings and the IDLE chatters of an OVERWORKING imagination and non-realistic dreams.

For yesterday is but a memory, And tomorrow is only a vision; but today well lived makes every yesterday a memory of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

TOXIC, where she morphed into different character. Awesome

EVERYTIME mtv, where she committed suicide and people were making hoo-haa about it. LAME

Rebel's reflection
Don't call me weak if I did not help your grandmother carry her grocery bags,
Don't call me stupid if I did not direct your grandfather to his home ,
Don't call me importent if your mum does not manage to seduce me,
Don't call me bastard if your girlfriend hit on me,
Don't call me gay if your brother cannot get me into his bed,
Don't call me cheap if your sister share lunch with me,
Don't call me freak if I listen your father's Celine Dion tracks,
Don't call me name if you do not reflect on what you had said.

Exam period is over.I noticed I felt at loss, empty after exam.I really to restructure my life back to life.I still have one matter yet to tell my mum.Sighs!Such a life in Singapore, the generation of people who are afraid of failure;dependent on goverment;have no specialized skill.There is no chance for them to obtain the true education for the next millenium.Life for me is not easy.

I wanted to watch movie, VanHelsing, but no one to accompany me.I decided to go to town alone.I can hide it well, but its there, and strangers can see it,still. I constantly feel alone, and need to do things to fill my time. I am afraid to tell people this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad way, and I may think I screwed up everything. And when I see smiles, that was when I am sad the most.Anyway, I just went to HMV , listening to music before heading back home for American Idol 3.

I feel alone even with myself
But does it better me
I'd like to tell you how i'm seeing now
But ruins everything

You try to judge me now/tomorrow's okay
You try to tell me now how i should feel
I don't feel like i should be here

I feel alone even with myself
Do you know what i mean
I can't explain those things that seem to repel me
They ruin everything

Your fears are working now/but i don't complain
I'm working hard to listen and that's okay

Today, I am going to take the last paper.I woke up early and did some revision at McDonalds nearby.Until 11am, people started to patronize the restaurant, making the place very noisy. I went back home, prepare to get dressed and wait untill 1pm. When my mum reached home, she started to scold my cat for pissing anyhow and lamented about how tired she was yet she was still the one who had to send my grandmother to hospital for check-up instead of other siblings. I was quite pissed of because I really need some concentration to memorize my notes.

I know that saying NO can be very difficult, especially it involved your parents's welfare.But to do things against her will and possibilities will end up in feeling used and resentful.Truly I respect her for her selfless act and certain sacrifices. That make me feel guilty- conscious for not contributing my part in household. Just wait for me to clear my last paper.

I went to meet kien at Ang Mo Kio Library after my exam.Borrowed some books.Went for 2.4km run at YCK stadium.Went for a 8 laps in YCK pool.Had Dinner at Bugis Village.Went home at 11.20pm.


You are most likely to be the Vampire
Chevalier!

The Chevalier personifies the vampire that acts
with noble intentions, despite what it is
capable of. Taking a conflicting nature and
resolving its issues, the chevalier both
embraces and yet keeps the vampiristic nature
in check; the hunt and taking of blood is
enjoyed greatly, yet is restricted to those who
willingly give, 'wrong-doers,' or is taken in
self-defense; its powers are also embraced
willingly, yet while it blatantly and proudly
uses them, those that harm are only used in
self-defense or in the defense of others. The
vampire charm is used in full, and the
chevalier appears as one of the most alluring
of all vampires, often lordly in appearance as
well. Because of the open embrace of its powers
and seemingly royal stature, the chevalier
often is an immensely powerful vampire.

Dominant personality trait: Pride

Dominant color: Gold

Fictional Vampire Examples: Meier Link ('Vampire
Hunter D: Bloodlust'), Jean-Claude ('Anita
Blake: Vampire Hunter')

Curious to see how you would fare as a creature of
the night? Come this way...


Vampire Classification Quiz (w/ Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

I came to SRC with new style of clothes and hair - hence with confidence.But suddenly my confidence dropped drastically when I flipped through the paper.Shit to the power of infinity.I guessed I was really in trouble.I gone bonkers when I realised I could not even do almost more than half of the paper.I had to move on, seriously. Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what I am going to do now and do it.

After the nap, I called Bunawar to meet up.We went to Burger King restaurant at Holland Village to have dinner as well as doing our own things - for me doing some reading up while he surfing internet using my ibook.Untill 9.45pm, he realised that there was a show - America Top's model tonight and He wanted to know the winner. I did not follow the show but of course I wished elyse will win because she is hot.

I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

CAPRICORN MAN


A man in this Zodiac will has a pair of round big beautiful eyes, a nice structure jaw line. He is a good listener and can understand everything easily and clearly. He can guess what you will say before you even say it. He often shakes his head or touch his hair. He is a big built, but he will tend to have a small ear. He tends to have a darker shade of hair and eyes' color. He will likely have a short and strong neck, broad shoulder, muscular, strong hands and grips. He has a shorter fingers compare to the man of the same size and same height in the other zodiac. His hands can work well at the same time can protect and care for his woman.

His height will be proportional to his weight. He will walk firmly and always take a big long step. As he walks he will look around in caution with no disturbance from his problems at present or in the past. He likes to watch things built with fascinate and wonder about how it is done, so you could see him watching a construction site and not get bored.

He is a good dancer. He is a careful person in instinct, so even at dance floor, he will already have to know what in front or behind him before he will take any steps.

Green is his favorite color. You will mostly see him wear green, navy, blue, or brown. In all 12 Zodiacs, he is the one who can get the most satisfaction from possession of beautiful thing, and cherish it as if it is very valuable to him even it is just a crystal ball made in France.

It is his luck that he hardly has to chase after woman. They always come themselves without his invitation. He likes to treat his guest in his house than visiting his guest at their house. He does not like to be a center of attention, so if you need his help, you have to look up for him. He lives his life in stability and simplicity. Every decision made are already "Sure" and carefully thought out. He will not do what he has been asked to do if he is not interested in doing it. He acts casually but in reality, he always doing things seriously.

He loves peaceful and quiet environment so in his free time, he will stay at home instead of going out and look for adventure. He loves nature and dreams of a nice and quiet house with lots of trees, or he may dream of a house in a beautiful countryside.

He will let you have freedoms and watching you in a distance. If you are over doing something, he will let you know by his icy cold look. He is the perfect lover in all the Zodiac for nothing he will not do for his love one. He won't allow people to laugh at him or think he is a joker, so he will spent for himself luxury for what it is worth.

He likes neat and well dressed woman, so do not be a slop if you are dating this guy. If you do that he will loose his face. He is the romantic type who would dance with you under the moon light.

Love will make him shines and you will see it in his face. He will not say it out loud, you have to know it yourself.

Today, i decided to study at school canteen B.It was nice weather ( raining ), Just right to study but not in the mood to put total attention on my M405. WHY? Here is the tips ( perhaps it might work)

The only way to make study work for you is to avoid BOREDOM - the worst enemy of learning. 

From a very early age, we vary what we do to stop ourselves getting bored. We look for new tasks and seek new ways to do things. Sometimes even this fails and we fall into the boredom-trap. We cannot be bothered to find ways to cure our boredom because we are too bored. 

Over time we develop a concentration-span - the time between starting a task to the time we find our minds wandering. This is because your brain deals with information in a very special way. 

The brain receives information from our senses. This is then passed on to our short-term memory where it is stored for a short time. From then on the information in short-term memory must be passed on to long-term memory or we end up "forgetting" the information. Your brain's ability to do this depends on how you feel. 

If you are bored, short term memory is lost very quickly and so can never be passed on. You may be surprised to learn that it is not lost forever - it is stored away often never to be remembered again. 

The best way to learn is to limit study periods to the length of our concentration-span. This gives the brain the best chance to store what we are studying in long-term memory.

I went back home for a while to take a good nap before I came back to canteen A instead to do my revision.I saw some familiar faces.I munched away banana fritters I bought at pasar malam nearby while reading the programming.Ard 10pm, I went to Hall 13 to meet up with Hung Yong for last burst of fire regarding the M405. I went back home at 1100 pm, waited for that damn bus 199.Reached at 1130pm.Suddenly I had a urge to have a newhairstyle. So, I snipped away my hair and I feel great.That's I called makeover therapy.

it's Labour Day. It was a public holiday but it fell on Saturday.Why Saturday?if it fell on Sunday, we hae public holiday on Sunday and there would be delay of one day for me to do M405 revision.Anyway, as Singapore commemorate May Day today, the government make we us up and take more notice of such men and women in our midst because we've largely been taking them for granted.Firstly, The pilots and flight attendants during the SIA crash in Taiwan, Secondly,the medical personnels such as doctors and nurse during SARS epidemics;Now, the engineers/foremen and construction workers ( Nicoll Highway and Ayer Rajah Collapse). It needs one disaster for Singaporean to appreciate other people'work.Shameless!Pampered! Heck-care attitude!

Those are the only reminders we have of the fact that there were men here who helped put it all together.
When was the last time any of us can recall a construction or other worker being given pride of place - or being present - when a housing project, industrial plant or office block was launched or unveiled?It will be in getting all of us to recognise and value workers who have helped quietly build the infrastructure and buildings and malls - anything else you can think of actually - which we use and enjoy and take for granted.Or we may think that these men accomplished such feats on an almost daily basis.Because apart from sacrifices that workers have made which helped keep the Singapore economy from collapsing, some of them did so by paying with their lives. And we owe it to them and their families to show that we value what they've done.True Heroes! For their remembrance.

People
will forget
what you said.

People
will forget
what you did.

But, 
people will never forget
how you made them feel.

Today I went to YMCA Orchard to study.It was very crowded as usual since today was sunday.It was packed with students.I know that traveling there was total waste of time but that was the only conducive place to study.I did not feel like studying at school canteen B.The weather are very horrendous.I could concentrate when I was covered in perspiration.

Around 6pm, I met Kien and Bunawar at Borders.Actually I was in mood to enjoy life actually.While browsing for some literature, I came across a beautiful sketch book- black hard cover book with capital S on the front , cost about $11.75. Suddenly,from that moment, i was inspired to write my blog/diary on that book and publish it.Ambitious?It is a good place to release suppressed emotions, confess dreams and fears and because it is exciting to have own secret records (at times).When I reviewed my diary, memories - bad or good started flashing on my mind. Amused, Aspired and Alive. It was some kind of therapy when I underwent depression.I can strenghten my path of my becoming by reviewing it from my current state of being.Hence, by reading my diary again, I can see why and how things have turned to be what they are. Knowing my past is vital in order to create certain change in future, for better.

We had dinner at Richie Rich at Far East Plaza since the food court at Scotts was overcrowded.The strandard of the food there was getting below standard.I vows for not patronizing the place again.Expensive and horrible.I cannot deny that the services was excellent but nice food only make me come back for more.Then I went to meet Hung Yong at Holland Village to ask my doubts on electronics ( M405).He has been helpful
always with me.I really proud of myself for having him as my best friend.Sometimes I really felt so inferior and himbotic whenever I am with him.