Sick

I feel better today but the conversation with L on msn really irk me much. Words wag about me denying my own identity and not being true to my own real friends. I am getting boring and nothing much interesting about me he think of.

Roll eyes.

So what I have an incredible pretension. I would not go so far as to say it defines me well at this point in my life. The pretension is the outgrowth of me despising the superficiality in others.They can catch me for claiming me being this or that and I am just being pretending.I don't even think anyone is not tired of hearing me bitching about it. Pretending and Denying are two different words.

Deny: To refuse to recognize or acknowledge
Pretend:To claim or allege insincerely or falsely; profess

I do not know many people who choose to speak to other people in order to determine how smart that person is. This attitude is usually performed without any apology. Hence I just denying the identity to those who pretend to be somebody.

It can harsh to claim this as a lie but I guess it is how oen define the lie. Consciousness means that, at the time you decide to give false information, you know it and still do it anyway. Who cares.

I repeat again.I will not go far if I do not give a false and first impression of myself to strangers. Life works this way: People tends to see what they want to see hence give them what they want to see and know. Aftermath, we handle it using interpersonal skill - pretension. I do not have any moral qualms with pretending.

Life is a stage and we all are actors.

Honest assessment of myself and my surroundings will better allow me to make better decisions. As long I do not screw up anybody's life. One shall pass judgement about me. Being not true to my friends is really absurd statement.Anyway, it is best to just listen to their silly tone and compare it to mine.But I am getting better.

I am learning to recognize the egotism when it manifest itself in my own motivation to be recognized to superficial society. I am very upfront about it. So why bother with people who know how to twist word in the form of advices. I have reason to do so.