Distraction

Today, I have to go to Bedok again to attend the course by this centre. I am fashionably late again for this course. This time, more people attend the course. I do not pay any attention today because my mind is wandering.

I am waiting for this school to call me to inform me that I am being accepted. Time goes by so slowly and I am waiting frantically. I can feel the disappointment, the huge one after the tea break.

I know I do not get the job I really love but I am still waiting. This is really a biggest disappointment I have ever get. I am so distracted that I trip and fell on the bloody uneven patch of dry soil which leave my arms with big scratch and blood oozing slowly. It hurts really bad.

People do see the event but I don't care. I feel so terribly disappointed. I don't know what goes wrong. Fuck! I take a bus to Orchard Road but I do not even in the mood to meet my friends lining up for the Singapore Idol auditon today.

I just go back home early. I ask my mum to put ointment on my hands as well as telling her the rejection. I try hard to be so optimistic but today I just feel being fallen apart.

Then my parents are going to Kuala Lumpur to attend wedding, leaving me alone at home. I spend my whole saturday at home alone again. I am fine with it but just that it is my turn to need someone to pour my bloody woes to.

I am such a fading sunflower.