Home again

Today I spend whole day at home. I just too lazy to go out, even going to gym. I just feel so bored stiiff at home, hence I decide to go community library at Jurong Point. I manage to get good books and then go to Banquet foodcourt to buy fish noodle soup that cost me $5.50.

I felt so cheated.

Then I spend my time looking for job online and read the books I borrow just now.

My four ++ experiences in NTU soon

The environment is hostile to me in some respect. Of course, this will change.In the meantime, I have no choice but to resign myself to keeping a low profile. Everytime, I try to coomunicate my views, I will meet with negative response.I guess my values are quite different to those of the people around me.

I could be well be the object of somebody's envy or resentment.

Refuse to let anything others may say or do undermine my stability and self-confidence.in due course, i will emerge the winner, right.I just stop any conforntation ( wich i always do ). Other won't be sympathetic to me. I wont be tempted to the point out the error of their ways. This would make matters worse.

Be true to myself and take a back seat. Look after myself and wait for the situation to improve. I must tune my brain to know that change for better will not happen overnight.

Now, it is difficult time. There is great potential for a change to a much better situation, but nothing is settled yet. Yet nothing in my past experience can guide me in this instance.

Some brilliant guys told me:
1) Be absolutely clear in my own mind what I want the income to be.
2) Make sure thate ach step I take leads me in that direction.
3) Proceed with utmost caution.
4) use common sense
5) Be streetwise and adaptable
6) Stay on the alert for signs that my approach is not working.
7) Be very wary.
8) Provided I take nothing for granted, success is guaranteed.

I have so many unrealistic expectations of myself that make me give up halfway. I am tempted to take risks in an effort to hurry things along. I do not realise that things can easily go wrong, hence fears and insecurities can surface.

I must fight battle of my own. The struggle with my ego, the problems it create for me, or with another person. In anyway, I MUST take all my courage and will-power to win the fight

Against myself.

Low profile of esjay.