At peace
Today i purposely woke up late for no reason. Once I woke up, i do not even decide whether to have breakfast. I am not that keen to have one actually when suddenly I had lost appetite in the morning. That is unusual.
I go to buy two packets of chicken rice and banana fritters at Jurong West St 42 and take bus 99 to go home. After relaxing, I go to Gek Poh CC to study but am told that study room is not in use due to repairs of the door. What am i going to do now? I do not feel like travelling far, hence just have my revision at McDonalds . i know it is going to be tough to concerntrate in just noisy environment. After that I took a rest awhile before going to school later at night.
It is nice to let go a burden off the chest . I have a heart to heart talk with a friend just now. His problem he is facing is similar to what i am facing, what I mean is i can relate to his problem. I am quite skeptical to share my feelings that have been bottled up in my heart until i decide to let go everything like the volcano eruption. And i feel lighter and happier. To share problems with someone who can understand. It is like theraupatical experience. I always like to think that I can go my own and meet them along the way but I am wrong. The burdens are so heavy, they really drained my energy . Maybe I am just in despair or desperate.
I am not going to know if I'm right or wrong or even not sure which way to go because we are going in the same direction , despite many choices. We are just looking for answers that are vaguely showing along the way. Anyway We both promise not to share our own secret to anyone. It will be buried inside our heart.
I take bus 179 to canteen B and I keep bumping to my ex-fyp researcher. I really hate meeting people like him. It make me more miserable. before that, I go Mcdonald to buy fish fillet, then a butter buns plus a cup noodle for my late night stay. It is very crowded at canteen B. I start to do my revision while munching away my food I bought. I know I am going to go on binge diet again. Around 3am, I decide to go home, alone.
Walking home with my favourite music, set my mind thinking. I am not in favour to night because night relates to darkness, no hope, death and coldness. But of course the good about night is peace and serenity. While I am walking towards the gate, the taxi stop beside me. i realise that Mingwei is inside the taxi and offer me a ride home, Appareantly, i am pleasantly shocked to see him at NTU premise, secondly my mind is seriously not workable. Hence i reject his offer and smile like an idiot. I am stoned actually. Anyway, it is nice of him to do that to me even though I am more than glad to hop into the taxi. Why i reject his offer, I am tired perhaps. He is another guys with a lot of good karma, Lucky guy indeed.
I continue walking and walking with my songs being played. Not saying that I am being renewed and reformed to better person but I am being thankful that I am still alive now. I set my mind to believe, bear and hope for better future if I work hard and being more devoted to God's teaching. The world we are living is just a cage for us, there is no paradise on Earth. We still grow old and be dead. No immortality. i should follow God's teachings and endure all those oppressionor my own mind. Anyway, the mother nature is getting crazy nowadays.
But fear and terror will not come near me to control me. There is always Someone there to guide me to the right and fulfil my own destiny. I should be thankful to God for all things.
When i come back, I see my cat catch the cockroach. The sight is damn horrifying; Seeing the cockroach legs still moving inside her mouth. I really hate cockroach and she want to show me her hunting skill. Suddenly, the cockroach flies into my leg. I go squemish and act like some mad guy and run to the hall. I roll the newspaper and see my cat biting that creature. I force my cat to vomit out the things and then I go n hit that cockroach so hard and many times with newspaper. I am so mean and even my cat looks at her prey squashed like a pancake, then look at me back. I am just so tired yet she still make me do stupid things. It is 4am for goodness sake.
I go to buy two packets of chicken rice and banana fritters at Jurong West St 42 and take bus 99 to go home. After relaxing, I go to Gek Poh CC to study but am told that study room is not in use due to repairs of the door. What am i going to do now? I do not feel like travelling far, hence just have my revision at McDonalds . i know it is going to be tough to concerntrate in just noisy environment. After that I took a rest awhile before going to school later at night.
It is nice to let go a burden off the chest . I have a heart to heart talk with a friend just now. His problem he is facing is similar to what i am facing, what I mean is i can relate to his problem. I am quite skeptical to share my feelings that have been bottled up in my heart until i decide to let go everything like the volcano eruption. And i feel lighter and happier. To share problems with someone who can understand. It is like theraupatical experience. I always like to think that I can go my own and meet them along the way but I am wrong. The burdens are so heavy, they really drained my energy . Maybe I am just in despair or desperate.
I am not going to know if I'm right or wrong or even not sure which way to go because we are going in the same direction , despite many choices. We are just looking for answers that are vaguely showing along the way. Anyway We both promise not to share our own secret to anyone. It will be buried inside our heart.
I take bus 179 to canteen B and I keep bumping to my ex-fyp researcher. I really hate meeting people like him. It make me more miserable. before that, I go Mcdonald to buy fish fillet, then a butter buns plus a cup noodle for my late night stay. It is very crowded at canteen B. I start to do my revision while munching away my food I bought. I know I am going to go on binge diet again. Around 3am, I decide to go home, alone.
Walking home with my favourite music, set my mind thinking. I am not in favour to night because night relates to darkness, no hope, death and coldness. But of course the good about night is peace and serenity. While I am walking towards the gate, the taxi stop beside me. i realise that Mingwei is inside the taxi and offer me a ride home, Appareantly, i am pleasantly shocked to see him at NTU premise, secondly my mind is seriously not workable. Hence i reject his offer and smile like an idiot. I am stoned actually. Anyway, it is nice of him to do that to me even though I am more than glad to hop into the taxi. Why i reject his offer, I am tired perhaps. He is another guys with a lot of good karma, Lucky guy indeed.
I continue walking and walking with my songs being played. Not saying that I am being renewed and reformed to better person but I am being thankful that I am still alive now. I set my mind to believe, bear and hope for better future if I work hard and being more devoted to God's teaching. The world we are living is just a cage for us, there is no paradise on Earth. We still grow old and be dead. No immortality. i should follow God's teachings and endure all those oppressionor my own mind. Anyway, the mother nature is getting crazy nowadays.
But fear and terror will not come near me to control me. There is always Someone there to guide me to the right and fulfil my own destiny. I should be thankful to God for all things.
When i come back, I see my cat catch the cockroach. The sight is damn horrifying; Seeing the cockroach legs still moving inside her mouth. I really hate cockroach and she want to show me her hunting skill. Suddenly, the cockroach flies into my leg. I go squemish and act like some mad guy and run to the hall. I roll the newspaper and see my cat biting that creature. I force my cat to vomit out the things and then I go n hit that cockroach so hard and many times with newspaper. I am so mean and even my cat looks at her prey squashed like a pancake, then look at me back. I am just so tired yet she still make me do stupid things. It is 4am for goodness sake.
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