Life's a BITCH
Esjay attended interview with Oprah Winfey at Hollywood.Esjay would touched on his recent development, betrayal,friendship, ego and bad reviews about him in Diamond Magazine.
Oprah: Hi,Esjay. How's life been so far?
Esjay: Hi, Oprah. I felt good;I've noticed that I am more calm and peaceful inside. There is no more panic, fear or hatred going on inside me.I have made great progress. I feel good that I have been able to release and let go of so much of my past inner fears and insecurities.
Oprah: How the changes come about?
Esjay: After identifying toxic friend who made you think that I did not deserve proper life. I realized that that changed my life. I guess the best thing that is happening is that I'm able to hear my inner voice much better.
Oprah: Nice to hear that.Tell us about the coffeebook you are going to create?
Esjay: It was just a pictorial books consist of myself and my journey being captured through images. Love, life , fantasies and most importantly friends.I was still looking for good photographer because my personal friend is now being based in China for his assignments.
Oprah: Talking about friends, You received bad reviews about yourself and your attitude in Diamond magazine?
Esjay: Really?! What Diamond magazine? It's on the internet?Never believe you read on Internet.I don't want to comment on idotic people making assumptions.
Oprah: Are you not going to comment on the reviews?
Esjay: Seriously the power of words and negativity of gossip , Is that important to speak up against? And no one seems to ahve more gossips swirling around a person than me. If I keep defending myself against revolutionary enemies, I would not ahve time to love myself.
Esjay: People have the rights to write bad thinga bout other but are they deserve reading?
Oprah:True.Do you treasure friendship?
Esjay: I do.Why?
Oprah:It stated that you bad-mouthed other actor and he found out from your good friend's ?
Esjay: What?I felt betrayed.Every magazine in the world writes lies about me!
Oprah: Is the speculation true?
Esjay: It was true but I did not really meant it, especially when the converstion between us was very relaxing and laid-back.They also did bad-mouth people. To me, i did not tell otehr party what other comment. Seriously, they were entitled to comments and I respect them for not telling others, even how terrible the comments were. I felt disgusted when I knew some people just felt so bitter that they were out to worsen the failing relationship with the otehr actors.
Oprah: You was really disappointed?
Esjay: I'm dissapointed in it but I'm not sorry I did it. I think I did a good job. But I got the blame for everything. It was like I said it, did it, created it, and I was the only one behaving like that, you know?
Oprah: That's terrible
Esjay: Yeah, I was always being misundertood. if he really looked through his life evnts, he should be glad to have me as a friend than other actor, whom he believe and trust in whatever he said or commented.
Oprah: Like what?Can U give some examples?
Esjay: I was the one who organized his birthday at johore during JC times as well as few years back, like recently. I was the one who spent money on small fridge so as to follow his demand if I wanted to stay with him in hostel. I was the one who went to find and get the job at D&P hampers , which was near his house. I was the one who managed to persuade David to go Kuala Lumpur who as to pursue his wish to go there. I was the one who would be there to accompany hime when he was down. And so forth. What did that guy do for him? He should the one who do soul-searching.
Oprah: Seem you believe in action speak louder than words.
Esjay: Presicely. Everyone can easily fooled by the words but to establish a good friendship is to do more than just saying.You have to act on it to maintain healthy relationship.
Oprah: And he being fooled.
Esjay: Well. No comments. One can be so bitter in life to call other poeple names including animals. That guy was succeeed to fool the fool.
Oprah: how about the claims that were being mentioned in the magazine? About being successful than other?
Esjay: Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done!But then the claims were mostly baseless. The assumptions were mother of all fuck-up. Everything that happens is meant to happen.I did not see any to show off my success to anyone or even compare with.
Oprah: But he claimed that you werre much better than him in aspect of looks and dreams?
Esjay: Maybe my action made him thought so.However I could not argue with him since my action being asessed by him. But saying it in front of him was totally absurd.I did not say anything like; "Hey you are ugly,you should stay at home" or " Hey, can you please be like m, so beauitfula nd talented" blah blah.
Oprah: Wrong analysis?
Esjay: maybe, A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.That could be implied to him.
Oprah: Did he insulted you in any way?
Esjay: Nah, But humiliating and embarassing me in fornt of people was planty. As much as people complain and critize me, I've touched a nerve in them somehow.So, I did not really bothered much to such fallacies. I know how to manipulating words to my side. But i still won't go eye for eye. I won't embarass or humilate them back.
Oprah: Noble!
Esjay smiles.
Oprah: Now, you claimed you lost during the male pageants, due to several outside factors? or rather insider's factors?
Esjay: Ask you, Do you join any pageant before?
Oprah: No.
Esjay: Presicely, they did not know the truth and bitchings behind backstage because they did not join such pageants. They even claimed that some people asked them to join but the same answer given to them that they were not ready for it. Gosh! When can one be rady to join and experience such competitions especially beauty pageants. Looks do last that long.And What I said about the support and winning factors were actually came from other contestants who were much bitchier than me who told us.I was just a friend to inform them the experience and some how political involvement behind backstage.
Oprah: Is it?
Esjay: Yeah, I did not go around and say, hey those winners were already confirmed beforehand. I was so pressurized even not to think such things during competitions.People told me.
Oprah: pressurized?
Esjay: Yeah. I was daring enough or rather guts enough to join such compeition to prove where I stand.And alos to build my self-esteem and confidence which was very necessary in the futire. Even if I was like super egoistic, Would I join such competition just to get insulted and humiliated in public forums.
Oprah: Really?
Esjay: Yeah. People can be very mean to just say bad comments about you . That need another life lessons to learnt. Does he have one?Talking about support, Did he give me moral or even physical support?No.I hoped he go and join the pageants and experience the truth.
Oprah: That was very saddening.
Esjay: Life's too short to be bitter!He had been stepping on my tail for so many times yet I was being patient with it until I realised I ' m not.They thought they would wake up one day and I would go away - but I'm not going to go away.
Oprah:That was not the attitude of loser?
Esjay: Because I was not a loser.I gained so much through joining such pageants. i saw real world in just a few hours.
Oprah: But did you call other loser?
Esjay: YEs, I did. But for fun and I did not meant it. Unlike poeple, they could thought about it in pause and meant what they said.You knew that was not a jokes but an insulting remarks coated with claim as jokes.
Oprah: Really? So did you call people who are better looking and superior than you loser?
Esjay laughed.
Esjay: If I would to call those people under that category, Why would I always make friends with good looking people as well hanging out with people with great ambitions. It could be ironic. To me, there was no such people superior than other but rather much better off.
Oprah: Another baseless claim?
Esjay: Of course,Or else I would be calling you loser right?
Oprah laughed.
There would be second session with Oprah Winfrey withE sjay about Narcissism, Debts and claimed 9 deadly sins.
Applause
Oprah: Hi,Esjay. How's life been so far?
Esjay: Hi, Oprah. I felt good;I've noticed that I am more calm and peaceful inside. There is no more panic, fear or hatred going on inside me.I have made great progress. I feel good that I have been able to release and let go of so much of my past inner fears and insecurities.
Oprah: How the changes come about?
Esjay: After identifying toxic friend who made you think that I did not deserve proper life. I realized that that changed my life. I guess the best thing that is happening is that I'm able to hear my inner voice much better.
Oprah: Nice to hear that.Tell us about the coffeebook you are going to create?
Esjay: It was just a pictorial books consist of myself and my journey being captured through images. Love, life , fantasies and most importantly friends.I was still looking for good photographer because my personal friend is now being based in China for his assignments.
Oprah: Talking about friends, You received bad reviews about yourself and your attitude in Diamond magazine?
Esjay: Really?! What Diamond magazine? It's on the internet?Never believe you read on Internet.I don't want to comment on idotic people making assumptions.
Oprah: Are you not going to comment on the reviews?
Esjay: Seriously the power of words and negativity of gossip , Is that important to speak up against? And no one seems to ahve more gossips swirling around a person than me. If I keep defending myself against revolutionary enemies, I would not ahve time to love myself.
Esjay: People have the rights to write bad thinga bout other but are they deserve reading?
Oprah:True.Do you treasure friendship?
Esjay: I do.Why?
Oprah:It stated that you bad-mouthed other actor and he found out from your good friend's ?
Esjay: What?I felt betrayed.Every magazine in the world writes lies about me!
Oprah: Is the speculation true?
Esjay: It was true but I did not really meant it, especially when the converstion between us was very relaxing and laid-back.They also did bad-mouth people. To me, i did not tell otehr party what other comment. Seriously, they were entitled to comments and I respect them for not telling others, even how terrible the comments were. I felt disgusted when I knew some people just felt so bitter that they were out to worsen the failing relationship with the otehr actors.
Oprah: You was really disappointed?
Esjay: I'm dissapointed in it but I'm not sorry I did it. I think I did a good job. But I got the blame for everything. It was like I said it, did it, created it, and I was the only one behaving like that, you know?
Oprah: That's terrible
Esjay: Yeah, I was always being misundertood. if he really looked through his life evnts, he should be glad to have me as a friend than other actor, whom he believe and trust in whatever he said or commented.
Oprah: Like what?Can U give some examples?
Esjay: I was the one who organized his birthday at johore during JC times as well as few years back, like recently. I was the one who spent money on small fridge so as to follow his demand if I wanted to stay with him in hostel. I was the one who went to find and get the job at D&P hampers , which was near his house. I was the one who managed to persuade David to go Kuala Lumpur who as to pursue his wish to go there. I was the one who would be there to accompany hime when he was down. And so forth. What did that guy do for him? He should the one who do soul-searching.
Oprah: Seem you believe in action speak louder than words.
Esjay: Presicely. Everyone can easily fooled by the words but to establish a good friendship is to do more than just saying.You have to act on it to maintain healthy relationship.
Oprah: And he being fooled.
Esjay: Well. No comments. One can be so bitter in life to call other poeple names including animals. That guy was succeeed to fool the fool.
Oprah: how about the claims that were being mentioned in the magazine? About being successful than other?
Esjay: Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done!But then the claims were mostly baseless. The assumptions were mother of all fuck-up. Everything that happens is meant to happen.I did not see any to show off my success to anyone or even compare with.
Oprah: But he claimed that you werre much better than him in aspect of looks and dreams?
Esjay: Maybe my action made him thought so.However I could not argue with him since my action being asessed by him. But saying it in front of him was totally absurd.I did not say anything like; "Hey you are ugly,you should stay at home" or " Hey, can you please be like m, so beauitfula nd talented" blah blah.
Oprah: Wrong analysis?
Esjay: maybe, A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.That could be implied to him.
Oprah: Did he insulted you in any way?
Esjay: Nah, But humiliating and embarassing me in fornt of people was planty. As much as people complain and critize me, I've touched a nerve in them somehow.So, I did not really bothered much to such fallacies. I know how to manipulating words to my side. But i still won't go eye for eye. I won't embarass or humilate them back.
Oprah: Noble!
Esjay smiles.
Oprah: Now, you claimed you lost during the male pageants, due to several outside factors? or rather insider's factors?
Esjay: Ask you, Do you join any pageant before?
Oprah: No.
Esjay: Presicely, they did not know the truth and bitchings behind backstage because they did not join such pageants. They even claimed that some people asked them to join but the same answer given to them that they were not ready for it. Gosh! When can one be rady to join and experience such competitions especially beauty pageants. Looks do last that long.And What I said about the support and winning factors were actually came from other contestants who were much bitchier than me who told us.I was just a friend to inform them the experience and some how political involvement behind backstage.
Oprah: Is it?
Esjay: Yeah, I did not go around and say, hey those winners were already confirmed beforehand. I was so pressurized even not to think such things during competitions.People told me.
Oprah: pressurized?
Esjay: Yeah. I was daring enough or rather guts enough to join such compeition to prove where I stand.And alos to build my self-esteem and confidence which was very necessary in the futire. Even if I was like super egoistic, Would I join such competition just to get insulted and humiliated in public forums.
Oprah: Really?
Esjay: Yeah. People can be very mean to just say bad comments about you . That need another life lessons to learnt. Does he have one?Talking about support, Did he give me moral or even physical support?No.I hoped he go and join the pageants and experience the truth.
Oprah: That was very saddening.
Esjay: Life's too short to be bitter!He had been stepping on my tail for so many times yet I was being patient with it until I realised I ' m not.They thought they would wake up one day and I would go away - but I'm not going to go away.
Oprah:That was not the attitude of loser?
Esjay: Because I was not a loser.I gained so much through joining such pageants. i saw real world in just a few hours.
Oprah: But did you call other loser?
Esjay: YEs, I did. But for fun and I did not meant it. Unlike poeple, they could thought about it in pause and meant what they said.You knew that was not a jokes but an insulting remarks coated with claim as jokes.
Oprah: Really? So did you call people who are better looking and superior than you loser?
Esjay laughed.
Esjay: If I would to call those people under that category, Why would I always make friends with good looking people as well hanging out with people with great ambitions. It could be ironic. To me, there was no such people superior than other but rather much better off.
Oprah: Another baseless claim?
Esjay: Of course,Or else I would be calling you loser right?
Oprah laughed.
There would be second session with Oprah Winfrey withE sjay about Narcissism, Debts and claimed 9 deadly sins.
Applause
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