Real Men Want and Need Male Friends
It can take a lot of courage and forthrightness even to have honest discussions about male friendship. There isn’t a great deal of support for it these days, but men still have friends and we still value them. Once we can get past the mental and emotional barriers we place in the way of male friendships, we can enter into them more freely and find real treasure in them.
Male friendship is incredibly important. The decline in its relative social stature seems to me to be either the cause of or a major contributing factor in many of the problems our society faces today. Men need male friends to give them support, model appropriate male behavior, and to lend a hand when they need help.
Our male friends offer us *a lot* of things that women just can't give to us. That's not a criticism or judgment of women; it's just reality.
For example, most men want to be affirmed as manly, being a man's man,being a man among men. Only other men can offer that to us.
Having male friends also lets us see how other men solve problems that are similar or even identical to our own. For me, at least, that helps me see that I am moving on the right track and that I'm doing what I can with the situation.
As problem-solvers, men offer support that often differs from the support we usually get from women. While women will often want to talk about how we feel when we're having trouble, other men will try to help us fix the situation. We need both approaches. Too much of just ''feeling" can be a problem, while just “doing” without any awareness and pushing away our emotions can harm us, too.
Male friends can also provide a safe space for the really difficult emotions such as anger. I certainly don't walk around in a rage all the time, but I have found that most women are afraid of men's anger, including mine. If I express the anger, they become extremely angry themselves, they withdraw, or they become really moody and difficult for me to communicate with.
By contrast, my male friends can often provide a safe "container" for my anger.They let me express it fully, but they also don't take any crap from me. They can keep me in line, often just by their strong presence.
Finally, everything I have read on the subject tells me that our sexual/intimate relationships will generally be *much better* if we have strong friendships with good male friends. Those friendships with other men don't take us away from our intimate partners. Instead, they help us to have some balance and to keep a masculine perspective..Male friends can also offer the friendly advice and coaching that we often find valuable in our intimate relationships because they often have had the same experiences.
In conclusion, male friendship is important to men, and important to society as a whole. Men want and need models for appropriate masculine behavior. We also crave the fellowship of other men in most areas of our lives. In addition to helping us in our relationships with women, strong male friendships can make us better fathers, sons, brothers, and friends.
It is very good article taken from http://www.stevesmidlifecrisis.com
Something to digest!
It can take a lot of courage and forthrightness even to have honest discussions about male friendship. There isn’t a great deal of support for it these days, but men still have friends and we still value them. Once we can get past the mental and emotional barriers we place in the way of male friendships, we can enter into them more freely and find real treasure in them.
Male friendship is incredibly important. The decline in its relative social stature seems to me to be either the cause of or a major contributing factor in many of the problems our society faces today. Men need male friends to give them support, model appropriate male behavior, and to lend a hand when they need help.
Our male friends offer us *a lot* of things that women just can't give to us. That's not a criticism or judgment of women; it's just reality.
For example, most men want to be affirmed as manly, being a man's man,being a man among men. Only other men can offer that to us.
Having male friends also lets us see how other men solve problems that are similar or even identical to our own. For me, at least, that helps me see that I am moving on the right track and that I'm doing what I can with the situation.
As problem-solvers, men offer support that often differs from the support we usually get from women. While women will often want to talk about how we feel when we're having trouble, other men will try to help us fix the situation. We need both approaches. Too much of just ''feeling" can be a problem, while just “doing” without any awareness and pushing away our emotions can harm us, too.
Male friends can also provide a safe space for the really difficult emotions such as anger. I certainly don't walk around in a rage all the time, but I have found that most women are afraid of men's anger, including mine. If I express the anger, they become extremely angry themselves, they withdraw, or they become really moody and difficult for me to communicate with.
By contrast, my male friends can often provide a safe "container" for my anger.They let me express it fully, but they also don't take any crap from me. They can keep me in line, often just by their strong presence.
Finally, everything I have read on the subject tells me that our sexual/intimate relationships will generally be *much better* if we have strong friendships with good male friends. Those friendships with other men don't take us away from our intimate partners. Instead, they help us to have some balance and to keep a masculine perspective..Male friends can also offer the friendly advice and coaching that we often find valuable in our intimate relationships because they often have had the same experiences.
In conclusion, male friendship is important to men, and important to society as a whole. Men want and need models for appropriate masculine behavior. We also crave the fellowship of other men in most areas of our lives. In addition to helping us in our relationships with women, strong male friendships can make us better fathers, sons, brothers, and friends.
It is very good article taken from http://www.stevesmidlifecrisis.com
Something to digest!
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