Meeting with Sam

After a long disappearance, Sam decides to meet me for dinner at Bugis. I meet him at 6.30pm there and proceed to Siam Kitchen.

There is quite a awkward silence initially. I have nothing to strike conversation with actually besides music. After warming up for awhile with food we order, we chat as per normal. I do not harbour any hatred or soever towards him. What past is past.

But of course, it is human to err, but it is devil to do err again and again.

Then we go back home early since he has exam tomorow.

Sick

I wake up at 2.30am just to do something like eating, then go back to sleep again till 3pm. I feel so tired that I just sleep like dead person.

Then I have a light lunch before going to town to meet yin to pass him the CDs since he is going for dental appointment. I miss my actual plan earlier like going to gym for yoga and bodycombat as well as getting a healthy tan.

We go to foodcourt for a meal before parting. I don't feel like doing anything actually, am not mood for shopping or even listening to music at HMV. Then I take a bus to King Albert Park and do my tuition thingy at McDonald's restaurant till 9.30pm.

I snooze throughout the journey home. I feel really tired today.

The pressure of not getting a job is getting intense when many people ask my mum whether I get he job yet. I feel pressurized myself and they don't understand me much. My degree is just equivalent to A level certificate. Employers love diploma holders.

My life is truly screwed up.


Sleep whole day beacuse been missing sleep today.I wake up at 3pm.. Meet Yin for dinner. pass him a disc.. then go to King albert park to do my stuff for tuition.. then go home ..

Valentines Day

Today is Valentines Day for lovers but for me, it is kind of friendship day for everyone to show love for close and good friends. I spend my early celebration at california gym for bodypump by Cheslyn.

Then I go back home after that. I cannot afford to sleep because my mum is working overtime. I spend whole day sending resumes onlines. I still pin somes tiny hopes for jobs I love to do.

Then I don a pink shirt and go to school for tuition. Today, the students don't really listen to me at all. I guess chemistry is the subject they don't particularly interested in. I try so hard to get their attention until I need to use some rewards to make them focus.

I just pass the Ferrero Rocher Chocolate gift to each of them when I realise that they don't really pay attention me much. This way can help these students' motivation to work and to learn and better still interest in the subject matter I am tutoring.

I succeed.

Suddenly the class seems to be so lively and fun again.

I know my money well-spent today. Seeing them happy , really makes me happy. I feel good today.It is not that easy to motivate normal academic students.

While going back home, I get cringed seeing young couples ( as young as teenagers ) around with their girl carrying a bouquet of flowers. Seriuosly and pratically, it is very expensive to buy a bouquet of flowers today. I am not surprised not to see any executives with their partners holding a bouquet of flowers. I believe they tend to be more practical to show love by other means.

Or maybe, Singaporean men are a bit stingy to buy one?

They are so young yet they can afford to buy those bouquet more than $50. How interesting. Most restaurants are fully booked?

Anyway, I don't feel a tinge of loneliness today. No big deal about it.

Pre V

Today my female students demand me for a chocolate gift for Friendship Day tomorrow. I suddenly feel vulnerable and cannot do anything. I know I have to spend money or else I cannot motivate them in near future.

To them, I will be just another boring person in school. I am not a friend to them. Gosh, I really hate to use this to motivate them.

After that, I go to Jurong Point to look for the kiss chocolates they request for. Seems that so many people are at chocolate sections. Everyone is buying chocolates. Mostly are students.

Tommorow, guys spend a lot of money and gals become fatter.

I go to liberty supermarket and decide to buy Ferrero Rocher chocolates instead of Hershey chocolates. I am having financial diet this month. They sell cheap FR chocolates than those at Watsons and NTUC. I buy three boxes and go back home.

Then I spend whole night wrapping the ferrero rocher in threes.I really wonder why I spend unnecessary things instead of going to have early sleep.

At least I can watch Charmed Drama tonight.

Old friend

My parents will be coming back so late today. It means that I am going to spend my whole day at home alone.

Tonight, it is another unexpected event for me. The friend who has been disappeared for 8 months call me. I am quite surpised and have a mixed feeling actually about it. For sure, he makes an effort to call me and ask for my being.

I did feel disappointed about his disappearance-appearance act throughout my life but somehow, this time I take it a little easy and let the things flow wherever it goes. When one grow old, I just know what my priorities. Definitely, I am not going to be Mr Nice guy again.

I have enough of being a candle to people's life: Brighten their life by burning myself until I deems as useless melted wax. Now, I will be flouroscent lamp: still brighten people's life but saving my energy greatly as well as hurt them well if not properly used. How noble.

He informs me about him being selected for the Singapore Idol audition and I am so proud of him actually. Why I am such a good friend? Gosh!

Maybe he thinks that I am worth keeping as a friend and he makes a first move to call me again. Frankly, those poeple who lose in touch with me due to misunderstanding especially, I am seriously not going to boost my fucking ego and say that I have forgiven them long ago neither do I want to boost your fucking ego by making first move to call you.

If you think I am worth a friend, you can just give me a buzz.

Distraction

Today, I have to go to Bedok again to attend the course by this centre. I am fashionably late again for this course. This time, more people attend the course. I do not pay any attention today because my mind is wandering.

I am waiting for this school to call me to inform me that I am being accepted. Time goes by so slowly and I am waiting frantically. I can feel the disappointment, the huge one after the tea break.

I know I do not get the job I really love but I am still waiting. This is really a biggest disappointment I have ever get. I am so distracted that I trip and fell on the bloody uneven patch of dry soil which leave my arms with big scratch and blood oozing slowly. It hurts really bad.

People do see the event but I don't care. I feel so terribly disappointed. I don't know what goes wrong. Fuck! I take a bus to Orchard Road but I do not even in the mood to meet my friends lining up for the Singapore Idol auditon today.

I just go back home early. I ask my mum to put ointment on my hands as well as telling her the rejection. I try hard to be so optimistic but today I just feel being fallen apart.

Then my parents are going to Kuala Lumpur to attend wedding, leaving me alone at home. I spend my whole saturday at home alone again. I am fine with it but just that it is my turn to need someone to pour my bloody woes to.

I am such a fading sunflower.

Grammy Day

Today I wake up at 2pm. I quickly warm the chicken rice I made yesterday minus the soup and get prepared to go gym for the bodycombat. It starts to pour but that does not dampens my motivation to lose weight.

Luckily I reach the place on time. As usual, I don't usually like to attend class at this time because I bound to bump people I don't want to meet. It is kind of awkward that I have to ignore them even though we know each other's existence after mutual introduction through common friends.

No one cares about each other anyway. Just a plain peculiar moments. Sometimes, some people can say nasty things about you to other people just because they do not know me that long.

Then I go to Takashimaya S.C to return my library because the library at Jurong point is closed for good. My stomach is really grumbling bad and I feel weaker actually. I just have vegetables and soup and the only meat I eat is chicken.

Getting old means slowing metabolism. I need to look after my diet.

At night, I watch American idol( I love Paris Bennet) and Grammy Awards.

My good friend's Birthday

Today is my good friend's birthday; A friend , way way back in Jurong Junior College. Someone who is blessed with good looks, was very popular in junior college. Almost everyone will notice and know him. I think I am bit exaggerated but people do aware of his existence because of his distinct looks.

At first,I thought he was very stuck-up because of that look and the way he speak. I really cannot stand his accent. Morever, he is very popular among the classmates. That make me a little envious of him.

I am tall and have looks too but lack of charisma he has. I just don't have green eyes like his. But somehow, we gradually become close and become very good friends in Junior College. And there are always two good looking guys during my time actually. But still, I am always second best to him.

I am so full of myself.

I have my own cliques in class but he is like... his own alpha male status. He will just appear when he needs to because he is popular guy outside our class. However despite having BFF( Best Friend Forever) status, we always argue with each other because of our own ego, rather mine or him, whoever.

I think it is mine, lah.

I don't really treasure the friendship much as he does take this friendship lightly too. But once we are on talking terms, we are closer than siblings. That is the special about friendship. No matter what, I have great respect for him not because of his exotic looks or soever but because of his strong religious faith.

Now, he is blissfully married with beautiful wife and beautiful child. I think he is the only normal friend I have to have such a normal lifestyle. Hence, a little contribution about him in my blog.

Aziz, I know you read my blog. Don't get offended about my entries ( I doubt so) because we are still BFF. Laugh Happy XXth birthday to you and may u be still blessed with goodwill and happiness with loved ones.

I really want to carry your baby. When I get the fucking chance?

This is the picture of us together after final reconcilation after a long cold war over minor matters. Taken during prom nite, check out my Aaron-kwok hairstyle and 'Night Fever' inspired suit.

My first tuition

My mistake not to bring along the map about this school I am going to give tuition. I stop at Choa Chu kang MRT station, then take LRT to Pending station. It is my first time to take LRT and apparently, I am not sure how to go Pending station. The students look at me , looking like a country pumpkin.

I am wearing blue shirt and pants. I am looking fantastic.

Once I arrive at Pending Station. I start to get worried because I do not where the hell this school is. And I have only 20 minutes to reach the school.

I ask this student about the school location.And he tells me that it is quite far from here. I don't know whether I should get panicked or just stay cool and listen to his direction. I am so regretful not to take taxi there.

Then once I see the primary school,by rights, I will get to see the secondary school around.I am lost again. I am drenched with sweat and my gelled hair is ruined by the sun. There goes my first impression.

I ask the students again whoe give a direction. The school is actually hidden among the private housing estate. I quickly rush to the the class and meet the school supervisor.

I stand under the fan to dry myself while waiting for the officers from other centre settles oem administrative matters with the supervisor.

Today, there is not much to teach but just revision. The girls are very cheeky , keep asking me irrelevant questions while the guys are normally quiet. But I do hope that I make a good impression on them and make the tuition interesting as well as beneficial to them.

At 6pm, I walk back to the main road and then take bus 180 home. I reach home at 7pm. I think I cannot take it at first day. It is so time-consuming

Men are ......

Taken from a heart-broken lady. Chill out Babe!

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice, have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ... WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's woman job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

Time with Yin

Today I rush to the Wisma Education at Siglap to attend the course. Actually, I am the latest to arrive despite being on time at tentative time given. Apparently I am the youngest guy, well. I look the youngest among the attendees.

The course is going to end at 1pm. I am going to get bored with such course. The ones who conduct the course the present tecahers from various schools. There are ice breaking session before the start of the course.

These people have so many years of experiences with this educational centre while this is my virgin time here. I feel quite awkward.

Today course will touch on mind-mapping which will help the students to grasp the information within the limited time before their exam. It is so boring. I had done these crap since secondary school.

I need to do hands-on on mind-mapping. I think my map is much worse than my neighbour. This programme is just enrichment programme for me. I have to grasp any opportunity given for my future. So I need to open my mind on this rather than spend my saturday morning sleeping.

At least there is tea-break at 10. And the food are so delicious that I have more than 3rd helping on it. I am so greedy but i cannot help it when the food are so delicious and there are few people around. No point wasting good food.

Then I have to stay behind to collect some notes as well as briefing on Mon for tuition at the school.

Then i take bus 36 to go Orchard to meet Yin but he will be late because he is having a haircut. So I just hang out at Borders Bookstore whuile waiting. One Hour later, we meet up and then walk to the Rocky Master Cafe opposite Hard Rock Cafe to give a birthday treat, a very belated treat. We talk awhile before walking to Tanglin Mall.

It is my first time to step inside Tanglin Mall. Then we walk around the flea market outside the mall and we find it very interesting and surpising. The price is really really cheap. A lot of foreigners like tha maids and labour workers go there to but the clothes.

Then I take a bus home whle he go to his friend's hosue for some house party.

I feel really tired.

Interview

Today I have to go East to go for interview session ( discreet editing again). I wear the clothes I bought yesterday and with new hairstyle. Then I stop at Bedok and take a bus XX. But I need to walk from bus stop to that place and the distance is very far, equivalent to centrepoint to raffles city shopping centre.

Morever, the weather is scorching hot. I have only 30 minutes left for my interview. I am getting worried and losing my cool.I decide to run with that formal shoes and formal attire. There is no sight of taxi too.

I receive a good luck sms message from Hung Yong. That is good enough to cool my temper that moment. I am so pissed off.

Once I reach the place, I am soaked with sweat and my hair is in the mess. There goes my first impression. I amw elcomed by a very nice lady, Ms Alice and we chat for awhile while waiting for the interview session for me begins.

I feel so retarded when I see other interviewees are mostly in smart casual while I am in super business attire. When it is my turn to be interviewed, I am welcomed by four people. They ask a lot of questions but somehow I feel that I do not give a very good answer that leave them impressed. I just give my best shot and just hope for the best.

Then I take a bus to town, then change bus to Clementi central. I go to NTUC supermart to buy the chicken fillets and wings for my diet next week.

I go back home. Hung yong calls me regarding the interview but tells him that I am not that confident to get it but just wait for one more week.

Interview

Today I wake up so early just to go for interview at Siglap Road. I have to be discreet about the job description ( those who wants to know, just sms me). Definitely I paas my interview but the problem is I need some times to reconsider because I want to go for one more job interview tomorrow.

Then I take a bus 36 to town to buy some shirts at Specialist Shopping Centre and then buy a pant at G200 store. That pants cost me $46. I even buy myself a very sexy briefs. I am just trying to be bold inside too.

Then I go back home because my cousin is coming to collect the software I burn for him. I ask him to help me to cut my hair. I need to have a short yet stylish hairstyle. He does a good job actually.

I look 10 years younger. I am going 29 to 19.

After that I go to NTU to print the resumes for tommorow.

New month

Time to do some feedback about my mini goals for January. I feel that I still do not achieve any actually. I do not what I am wasting my time on. At least it starts with group of good friend and end with a group of good friends too. I do treasure friendship.

They are gem to me.

I have few interviews coming up this month. I believe my mum's intention with regards to her promise to Almighty is fulfilled. Hence, I am being blessed by Him for my future. I also work much harder too for get the opportunity given

Iskandar is married last month safely but I have not even planned any gathering for Zuwa groups yet because I am so busy with minor matters.

I hope I can identify the time-wasters and try to minimize them and make full use of the sacred time to do something to achieve my goals this month.