Swim

Today, my headache is giving me trouble again. I hate having one because my whole system will just collapse and I won't be doing anything much but just sleep. That is waste of time.

I go down to foodstall and buy sinful Nasi Lemak for breakfast.

I decide to against the conventional way of soothing my headache by going out to get the fresh air. I suspect my room contains bad air plus my whole house is very stuffy.I must do some reading on fengshui on the house.

I go to King Albert's park to have my lunch as well as to do some planning and reading. Then Guziel calls me and ask me about his accident at the bathroom that cause him swelling on his foot.Hence I give him some advice on the proper treatment to reduce swelling.

When to use cold treatment
Cold therapy can also reduce muscle spasms, and cold is noted for killing pain, reducing swelling, and lowering metabolic activity.

Combined with compression, cold can produce dramatic drops in tissue swelling, because cold initially constricts the walls of blood vessels and compression restricts the amount of blood which can reach an injured body part (another therapeutic intervention, elevation, helps to 'drain' a damaged body region of excess fluid). Studies show that cold produces large decreases in oedema (swelling) and better reduction in discomfort, compared to heating.

Cold decreases muscle spasms by making muscles less sensitive to being stretched, and, like heat, cold can be used to treat low-back pain. Research suggests that cold works better for individuals who have had back pain for more than 14 days, while heat may be more effective for those with more recent pain.

And when to use heat treatment

The application of superficial heat to your body can improve the flexibility of your tendons and ligaments, reduce muscle spasms, alleviate pain, elevate blood flow, and boost metabolism

Heat appears to be best for un-tightening muscles and increasing overall flexibility. Although heating can reduce muscle spasms after a back injury, heat should not be used on sprained ankles or strained muscles

Then we meet up at Bouna Vista for a swim. We have a good swim and leave at 7pm because the crowd starts to come. We have dinnet at Foodcourt at Holland Village and then chill out at Coffee Bean cafe for a while.

I order Pink Lemonade cost about $3.30 while Guziel orders some milk tea.We talk about the future, the resumes and life generally.

Then we take bus home.

Detox

Supposedly to start my detox today. I woke up early because I really think I need to have a proper habit fo waking up early and sleeping early too.

I go to california gym to attend yoga at 11.40am. The reason is also that I need to reduce the headache I have recently. During yoga session, I am always impressed by Mazie's yoga pose and damn, she is very flexible. I am such a stiff log, struggling hard to do some proper positions.

Yoga to get the "kinks" out of their bodies, strengthen bones and muscles, improve posture, breathe better, relax, and improve their overall health and vitality.

Yoga also counters the effects of the aging process by moving each joint in the body through its full range of motion -- stretching, strengthening, and balancing each part.

Breathing gives life, it's as simple as that. The yogic breath discipline teaches you to breathe through the nose, accentuate exhalation rather than inhalation, and cleanse the lungs and eliminate toxins. These techniques are attributed with increasing your physical and mental health.

I have problem breathing through nostrils. No wonder I look so hagagrd and tired. I have been cursed with block nose since young. Because My Indian friend once say that my name sound like running nose in Indian. Not about being supersitious, I just hate being associated.

I start doing yoga in california gym because I want to maintain or rather reverse the agining process.

More benefits. Click this link

After that, I continue to do bodycombat.I feel a little weak actually.

I go to Funan center to have my ibook repair. The guy tells me that my hard disk is likely gone and I need to buy 40mb storage that cost me $269 including service. Money again. I cannot survie without laptop but just to accept it.

I take a bus 7 to clementi.Then I cannot take it but to buy two sinful doughnuts and green tea.

Then after my dinner, I go for a jog again at night. I really want to look good and toned.

Sunday again

My days always start late including sunday. I go and meet Guziel for a while for window shoppping. I meet him at 4pm at Clementi but earlier, I go to Big Bookshop and buy some kindergarden assessment book for my mum. Yes, I am going to teach my mum English.

Then we take a bus 7 to Orchard and proceed to SASA shop at Wisma Atria to show him SKII products. I do not know that SKII does skin analysis before selling their product. After that, we go the the biggest Watson's store and buy some toiletries.

I spend about $32 there.
1) Hand Collegan cream
2) Bigen hair dye
3) Eyelashes curl
4) Gatsby wax
5) Shower gel

I am such high maintanence guy yet I am jobless.

After that we take a walk to Heeren and window shopping before going to cineleisure cheers for a drink. Samuel calls to meet up. Then we decide to eat at Baquet at China Square. So we take a bus 174 and realise that Banquet Foodcourt closes so we decide to have our dinner at Singapore General Hospital. The food is quite expensive.

Then we take a bus to Boat Quay to chill out at my favourite cafe,TCC cafe for awhile. Then we go home by bus.

Saturday alone

Today I am quite surpised that I will be staying at home on weekend. There are friends whom I am not that close with asking me out but I am on financial diet today. At least I make my mum pleased to see me whole day.

I start to have headaches especially when I start using my brain to think. I will always think of my future and how I am going to attain happiness. Imagine getting happiness can be very stressful.

Then my mum and I have a hearty conversation. Sh starts to talk about marriage.I start to roll eyes.Her expectation of me to marry a university graduate is high since my sister does not choose graduate as a life partner.

I scold her for being shallow. Does she cares about my feeling if I am to choose any university graduate just to satisfy her expectation and sacrifice my happiness. I think that 's wrong. Love is not made to order.

Talking about marriage or even relationship, I start to think do men love to be complete? Every relationship a guy gets involved in absorbs all his time on his partner, and makes him slightly less fun to hang out with. But at the same time, he is enviable.

But singles like me make an important realization that one don't neccessarily need love to elad a complete and fulfilling life.Maybe people think that to live without a girlfriend is not living - but they forget about themselves.

I suggest that they should assess the sense of self in terms of own tastes and preference.If you feel that there is something missing in your life, don't lunge for a romantice opportunity to fill the void.

Not that I am going to stay single for the rest of my life. I would love to hold my beautiful child on my arms. I am just trying to put love on hold till I am fulfilled.

To those who just experienced breakup,take a few minutes to recreate a better version of yourself such as go over your strengths and weakness and again, include things that may ahve been pushed out of the way during relationship.

Time to reconnect.

While we all need a certain level of love in our lives, we'll probably find it when we least expect it. Who knows I am enjoying jazz live band in one pub, I ll probably notice sweet little princess two seats away, laughing at same parts as me. When I talk to her, she'll be surpised at my self-confidence and originality.

I know that It is great to be me for awhile.

Home

Today I go to school to update my blog and updating the backlags really drain my brain juice as I need to recall what have been happening past few days.

So many students are doing their registration of subjects. Thank goodness, I have enough of these registration because I really hate to do it. School canteens are under renovation.

I go back and have dinner and the start to clean up my room. Compiling the school notes either into trash or worthy notes. I do some planning for this week. I am so lazy to go town to train or meet my friends. I feel lost without my ibook.

I did some hardware test and realise the there are errors in the mass storage. I think I need to go down to apple centre for repair.

Then I am constantly disturbed by a friend's call.At certain point, I am just don't bothered to pick up because I dont like any interruptions.Telephone calls are really my common time-wasters.

I decide to pick up the call again while having my dinner.He starts to make silly assumptions why I do not pick the call and doubts my reason for being busy just now.What pissed me off that he still calls my house number in spite of my gentle warning not to call me through my house number. Even my friends of 6 and more years do not call me using my house number. I am quite peeved for not listening to me.

I make a blunder which cause him anger but I am not sorry. I am not in the mood for such silly jokes or sacrastic remarks that time because I have so much things to do yet people just don't understand it all.

I need to focus and I am happy that I achieve my goal without any interruptions.

Guru

Today I meet a guru who teach me the meaning of purpose in life. I am grateful that he give his life tips related to personal success. I realise that I have been hanging out with people who produce aura negativity and eventually pull me together with them into the pit of depression to stay alive.

Focus is the secret to personal success, even it can take to sacrifice your family and even your close friends. We are living the life on our own.

Donate more too. Donation can come in the form of monetary, energy and time to help the society who needs us more.

Have a right network.

I have been wasting my 6 years trying to focus dreams that are ot attainable. No point looking good yet have no money. I hope to become successful guy. I need to refocus my ambition and be more practical in life.

Last Day with Harry

Today I am disturbed by constant ringing of my handphone. Lincoln asks me to accompany him to go sight seeing with Harry to Sentosa. We meet at Harbourfront at 2.30pm. I reach early so I walk around the Harbourfront complex, seeing so many beautiful beachy people chill out there awhile before going to Sentosa.I have Double Cheeseburger and Ice milo first

Then they arrive at 3pm but then Lincoln want to have lunch first at food center before going to take cable car. After that, we walk towards the Harbour front tower to take the cable car but I notice something amiss. There are no cable cars moving along the cable lines. When we reach there, to Harry's disappointment, The cable car sytem is under maintanence for a week.

No cable car ride.

Lincoln calls Alex and is angry with him for not telling Lincoln about the maintanence yet still trying to do selling regarding the sky-dining recently.

Then we wait for the bus to fetch us and the go to Sentosa Island. Then we take a bus to Underwater World but the queue is very long. Hence, Harry decides to take cab to there. Good thing, we do not need to pay. Again, to our disappointment, the queue to the entrance to Underwater world is very long and it will take times to get the ticket.Hence we skip the idea again. I am so happy that I will not spend money today.

Sentosa is very overcrowded with tourists today. We walk along the beach and let Harry enjoy the sand, sun and the seas in Sentosa Island. The place, as usual, is crowded with babes and guys with buff bods. I am not even any of them even though I am once a beach boy.

We reach the most southern point of Asia contenient and it is cam whoring time. We take a rest because they cannot take it anymore. Hence we decide to hang out at Bora Bora bar and suntanning on the deck nearby the bar.

Then we take a dip by the beach and swim to the floating orange platform for fun. I am quite skeptical swimming by the sea. I am quite deep sea phobic.

Once I reach there, I realise that I feel lighter and relax. Maybe I should not step on the Singapore Island ground. I can feel stress when I walk on Singapore ground but when I am at overseas or even out to the sea. I feel so serene. Something wrong with the Singapore ground somehow. Then Lincoln and Harry swim across and join me.

After that, we go and take shower before taking a bus back to Harbour Front Station. I miss being a beach guy. Basking in the sun, swimming by the sea, playing beach volley, having tanned and buff bods. Too bad, I am growing older and exposure to sunlight is enough to start the premature aging process.I cannot afford to look haggard.I must look forever young like Hung yong.

Montage at Sentosa

Then we take bus 93 to Adam Road as we want to let Harry try to taste the famous local delicacy:Nasi Lemak. Adam Road is famous for that authentic Nasi lemak. Lincoln and I buy the set and also Indian Rojak. Luckily Harry find the nasi lemak delicious. Then Sam is going to join us later.

We sit awhile before deciding to go to elsewhere.We take bus 156 to Holland Village and chill out at the Essential Brew cafe. We order Rose Pu'er tea as it helps to aid digestion. I seriously feel bloated at the moment. Sam still goes and order my favourite brownies. We chit chat and laugh at each other for awhile whil it lasts.

The moment has arrived. At 11pm,it is time to say goodbye to our foreigner friend as tomorrow, he is going back to Bangkok, then to Koh Samui. I hope he enjoys the stay in Singapore and maybe we make a good tour guide.

Then I go back with Sam while Lincoln takes cab home.

A friend calls me and pours his sadness and disappointment to me. Thanks goodness, I make a good listening ears. He feels better after that but I feel so sleepy after the sentosa trip.

Esjay From Sentosa

old gathering

Today, I woke up late but I suppose to buy food later for tonight gathering. I go to Prime Supermarket nearby because I am too lazy to travel to pioneer mall and do some grocery shopping at Giant Mall.

I buy hotdogs, Chicken drumstick and Chicken nuggets and some other for my mum. I rest awhile and pack my gamepack like monopoly and Uno card before frying the stuff. I put them into the container and ready to do my pink shirt for gathering. Yes, It is pink/red theme.

I take a train down to clementi and realise that both Halizah and David are going to late. I will not go out early and miss my lunch. So I have chicken rice as my lunch when Halizah calls me where I am. She meets at foodstall while I am still enjoying my food. Then we decide to meet David at Holland Village since we cannot find the Sushi counter at Clementi central. We take bus 106 and walk to Sushi Tei to order some sushi. Halizah and I still browsing the types of sushi when David comes and meet us inside. Then we go Indian stall and buy three packet of Mee goreng

Then we meet Layise who is waiting for us at Burger King Restaurant. Then we walk to the Delifrance to just order a slice of chocolate cake and blueberry tart. I go n buy the candle for the cake.

Then we walk and walk with fruits and food to Ghim Moh estate. I am quite happy that they are game enough to wear according to the theme. Then we arrive at Laysie's apartment at 20th storey. How I wish to have an apartment on my own and enjoy my privacy.

Then we start to unpack the food , warm up and put them on plate while waiting for Bunawar to come down. But I receive a sms from him that he will be later as he need to accompany his mum to NUH for medical check-up. Hence, we decide to eat first because we are so hungry.It ahs been a long time to enjoy old friends' company while eating together. It is a potluck gathering. It will be fun if Bunawar comes early. We watch Miss Congeniality 2 while enjoying the food.

Plus, Laysie cook Honeydew sagu for us.

Bunawar calls us and it means it starts to have a brithday surpise for him. Suddenly, bunawar knocks the door but luckily we close the lights but somehow, we are like scampering idiots , looking for lighter while bunawar keep knocking the door. Three of us hide at Laysie room with the cake and lighted candle. Once the time is right, we surpise him with cake and our inaudible birthday songs.

How I wish I have such feeling on my birthday with many people.To surpise me with lighted candles on my cake.

Then we also surpise laysie that we are also celebrating her belated birthday too. I just love seeing my friends smiling away with my comical antic and creativity.Then we have sagu for desert before starting to play UNO games.

I feel like a kid when we are playing UNO, heart attack and snap. Laughter, fun and making fools of ourselves.Hours with good friends make us feel young again.And I hope it manage to make Bunawar temporarily forget his pains and woes and briefly inhabit the world of happiness.

I believe laughter helps to strengthen human connections. This happens when people are at ease with each other. We also know that laughter can start with the giggles, which can spread like wildfire—with luck! I am grateful for the opportunity given today. And I am thankful for Laysie for the giving this chance to help me organizing.

More laughter. We watch Hot Chick movie while enjoying Sushi. The wasabi is such a killer but love the feeling of burning sensation at the nose and along the head. I just love the cheap thrill. We spend our last hours watching movie. Nevertheless I enjoy their company so much, And I wish to have like these gathering to come.

I take last train with David while Halizah and Bunawar take bus home. At least I enjoy my weekend by not clubbing.

Things to know about laughter

It is amazing to hear claims that laughing 100 times uses the same energy as a 15-minute bicycle ride or using an exercise rowing machine for 10 minutes. If you want a complete workout for your body, start laughing now. When you laugh heartily, different parts of the body, the arms, legs and stomach muscles undergo change—that is why my ribs ache with laughing—and they will all feel better for a good laugh. Your blood pressure should be lowered and your respiratory system should benefit. The whole process has the same effect as an aerobic workout, but with less effort and no visit to the gym! Now you know why exhaustion often follows a good long laugh.

If you want to stay fit and keep healthy, just laugh! It is believed that laughter can also help to prevent some heart disease. Two emotions, fear and anger, are often responsible for heart attacks—and while you are laughing you are not getting angry.

A good laugh also acts as a safety valve to control the stress hormones and the fight-or-flight reactions during times of stress, rage or hostility.

How to have a good laugh
If you want more laughter in your life, think about what makes you laugh, and do it. Read it or watch it more often. Try to mix with funny people as often as you. Sharpen your sense of humour by reading a joke book for kids of all ages. Some of the jokes are pathetic but they can make you laugh out loud. Also write down all the funny things you hear about and read them when you are feeling low. I always forget the ending of funny jokes.

Lastly, Try to know me well because I am a joker among the people

Harry is back

Harry is in the town now.

I go and meet him and Lincoln at 4pm at Bugis Junction because Lincoln wants to show him around the Bugis area like the Temple at Waterloo street, Sultan Mosque as well as the Sim Lim Square.

Then I meet them at the Edge before deciding where to go.Today I take over as tour guide and lead them the way. We walk to Suntec Convetion Center just to show him the beautiful structures of the building and the geomancy of the structure itself. We stop by at the road and tell him that building is the National Library.

Somehow, it is quite true about Singapore is Singapore have trying to be the first and best in the World or even in Asia - despite the small size. We are such shallow people who believe in getting first class citizenship but then suffer due to the power of money. Cost are just high everywhere. It's all about the money in Singapore

Harry comments that he prefers Kuala Lumpur and Bangkok better than Singapore as the people there are much open minded, accepting, friendly and easy going. I think likewise too.

Anyway, we walk down to the citylink and then proceed to Ya Kun Toast cafe to let him try hard boiled eggs which can never been seen at Holland. He does not like it at all. Then we walk back to citylink and go to Esplanade. Cam whoring time

Then we walk to the Merlion site and take pictures before chilling out at TCC cafe at boat quay because we feel warm and tired.I order Sea of Gold as usual while Lincoln orders Sea of Passion but Harry orders decaffeinted Columbia coffee. After that, we walk to Lau Pa sat

We r more like tourist than Harry

This time, we order satays for Harry and he also want to try Malay foods as he already try Chinese food at Maxwell early when Lincoln brought him to Chinatown.I order Gado-Gado, Mee Rebus and Mee Siam for him. We eat togather. He like Gado-Gado best. Apparently, There is a dish in Holland named Gado-Gado but the peanut sauce here is much better than thsoe at Holland. Gado-Gado is just similar to vegetable salad with peanut sauce except they do not have pieces of lontong.

Then we have my stomach filled. We chill out at some plae for while before going back home.

Esjay & Lincoln

early rise

I do not sleep whole day. I cook Fried rice for my family at 5am. Then I start to go out at 6am to Orchard by bus. The journey is fast because the traffic is very smooth. I reach Orchard Cali at 7.30am.

I get ready for Body pump at 8.10am and am surpised to see so many people attending the class. However, I do not have much strength to carry heavy weight, unlike those caucasian women who carry more weights than me.

Then I do my free weight for one hour while waiting for body combat later.

Then I go back to NTU to use the computer to do the booking of my gown during my convocation later. Time to look good.

YCK

Today I meet Guziel at Yio Chu Kang Stadium to go for a run but he is apparently super late. I just change and start to run when I see him walking down to the stadium. We jog for awhile before heading to the pool for a swim.

Then we take a train down to Orchard for our dinner at Puncak restaurant at Far East Plaza. I promise not to try the Chicken Curry Rice again. It is very horrible.

Then we go to MAC counter to browse some male cosmetic. Feeling like two hot male models ( we are not actually ). We ask this girl about the necessaity we need to have for photoshoot session.

Studio fix foundation.Expensive.

She says that most the superstar contestants bough this product and looks good in camera. Ok, marketing strategy.

Sam birthday

Today I meet lincoln and ask hime to join me to celebrate Sam'birthday today. I know he is obliged to do it because his ego is being bruised due to last saturday event.

He is quite pissed off with sam's unresponsive behaviour today but for my sake, he meet me for a dinner while I sms sam whether he is free to meet up. Sam has plan later somehow. Lincoln always tells me that I do not know Sam very well which I beg to differ. It is his characteristic and I know it.

But when he reply the sms, I start to doubt myself whether I know him well.

Then lincoln and I go to Kinokuniya Bookstore for awhile before going back home. Suddenly Sam calls me where we are. He requests for the detour and meets him soon.But Lincoln does not wish to go hence I have to meet Sam by myself. I stops at Buona Vista MRT station and waits for Sam after bidding Lincoln goodbye.

Then we walk to Holland Village and hang out at Starbucks for while. we order chocolate cake which is horrible and we talk. I just need to clarify the air reagrding two of them. I do not like to be caught in between two good friend and put me in very awkward situation.

I am quite sad that such things happens to me or two of them.I hope this can resolve fast and I wont be so stressed to do obligation to each of them.I am very impartial person.

Spend with Guziel

I go to Orchard MRT station to meet Guziel when I am stopped by this young girl whetehr I am interested in becoming a model. I do not go WAH! like I used to when i am being stopped by any talent scout. She is like so young and then tease her why she spots me. She praises me for being tall, having built and good looks.

Feeling good? Bet I am feeling great. I just smile and give her my contact number and she gives me her namecard. Joey.

Then we shop around for while from Zara to Topman to Paul Smith, then go to CK Tangs to try out the Seed Jeans and then go back to Isetan Topman to buy the tee Guziel loves.

He is happy that he manages to pass his IPPT test and earn money.

Then we take a bus to Clarke Quay because he want to check the price for the reverse Bungee Jumping there. It costs $30 per head. Then we walk along the clarke quay and we feels like tourists in our own country.

Then he asks me to follow him to go to Farrer Road to take the digital camera from his friend, Isaac there. We take NEL train there then we take a train back to Chinatown to have our dinner at Banquet Foodcourt at Far East Square.

We discuss the details of the gathering since it is his birthday celebration. We take bus 197 home. This will be the last time to take bus 197 to go home. Very time-waster.

Karma

Karma fits the fate, so use it.

What is karma in non-religious term?

What goes around, comes around, perhaps, Maybe, it usually involves perceiving an event as the consequence of previous event that seems unconnected; the connection is cosmic.

In simple term, karma is a kind of guide toward moral accountability. If you have good karma stored up, that your goodness brings pleasantness and badness unpleasantness. Hence one has to be consistently selfless and thoughtful in his actions is said to have good karma stored up, and good things will come back around to him soon.

No wonder I have better luck during to my good karma. Self-praise = bad karma.

Hence, avoid craving, resistance and delsuions in your actions. Or layman term, try to be wholesome in what you do. Remove the selfishness from your life, although it is tough. You may not experience any immediate karmic payoff, but one will feel goo about oneself and enjoy life better.

You come and go.

Post-graduate

True enough, I receive a call from my aunties and ask me how I am going to celebrate it. I mean there is no big deal actually. I am not teh first to graduate in thsi family. I just let my mum decides for me. Anyway I already ask for my rewards: Going to Bangkok last week.

I go and meet Sam at Heeren for awhile after his workout at Fitness First at Paragon. I had dinner at MOS burger restaurant before walking from there to City Hall. It is a long journey.

While waiting for Lincoln to come down to Citylink, We have our food at usual hangout, Coffee and Toast cafe. This time I go n try raspberry toast.My uncle calls and congratulates me. I am so touched.

We suddenly talk about having a adventure fun for the weekend rather than going to club and waste time and money. We suddenly talked about our experience at kota tinggi and spontaneous trip to Kuala Lumpur. We have a hearty laugh when recalling the moments.

Then Lincoln comes and tells us that he is just has a fierce quarrel with his groomer. If I have a point of view, he is partly to be blamed. I mean his friend tells him not to do what she request, even it looks harmless to him. It means much more to her.

One should not include the secrets or words one honour from the other in the conversation. Why must ramble off at the mouth bluntly without thinking other people. It can be hurting and breach of trust. She ahs the right to take action to be angry with you. Words are very strong vehicle of communication either to bring you up or even ruin to the shabbles.

My advice is Listen to your friends request and honor it.

Then we take a bus to Maxwell market as Linocln does not have dinner yet but Sam is going back home.

Then we go to club for awhile and meet old friends along the way. I enjoy every much spending with friends.

Courage

Today, I decide to go to school and check my final result. Yes, I pluck my courage to really go to school and use library terminal to check the result.the feeling fear is very intense and strong.Lincoln calls me to check my result fast so that he can help me find the job opening. He even wants to help me to check for me. This kind of event , I rather do it myself.

I am so worried about failure because I cannot afford to lose anymore time.

Butterflies in my stomach when I start keying my matric number and password. I try minimise the window screen but suddenly it just caught me off guard and the result pop in front of me.

Speechless.

Finally, I graduate. No tears of happiness but my haertbeat pause for awhile. Somehow, the day seems so bright and cheerful. I feel so relieved and lighter. It is a mixed feeling somehow. Nevertheless I am grateful and thankful for God.

New Chapter of my life.I finally get out of NTU.

I go back home but my mum is not around for me to sharemy happiness. Tonight I rather stay at home to recall back my years of study in NTU.

My mum enter my room and ask whether I want dinner. I just tell her that I graduate. She smiles. And that is the first time, she smiles so beautifully. A smile I can tell that she is proud of me today. Seeing her so happy nearly makes me moved to tears. She gives me a peck and then call my sister to inform my result.

She asks me about my classfication which I am not that proud of. She is upper class honours graduate unlike me. I tell my mother I just graduate and becoming a tecaher is just a sideline for my future at the moment.

I am blessed. I bet my mum tells my aunties regarding this.

Feeling depressed

Life is full of changes. Everyday events and our reactions to them sometimes interfere with our sense of well-being and peace of mind.I get constant nervous breakdown today because I am so afraid to check my examination results.

These result will determine whether I will get to be a graduate.

I keep trying to run away from the truth because I know reality bites. I can not afford to accept failure again.Now, I experience depression and it is getting intense every minutes especially when I think of the future ahead. Feeling of fears and worry prolong to such an extent that daily functioning can become difficult.

But I try to be optimistic somehow.

I take a train to City hall and have a lunch at McDonalds Restaurant at YMCA before hitting the gym. I have a splendid time doing bodycombat despite feeling breathless at certain points of time. I feel lighter and relaxed.

Then I go to the Centrepoint Food Court while waiting for Lincoln to pass him the money. Then at 7pm, we meet and head to cineleisure foodcourt to have dinner. After that, we go to Takashimaya to meet Sam after his working hour. We sat awhile at McDonalds restaurant for chitchat session. I brave myself and put on the smile constantly despite feeling disheartended about the unknown.I don't want to spoil everyone's mood somehow.

Then Sam gets a call from his friend who asks him to attend the opening of the club at Magazine Road. He asks us whether we both keen to follow him there. Well, we are not even invited at all to such party and we don't even know the host too. But Sam really wants us to join him. Hence we will go but leave early. We take a cab to magazine road. The club is named Club MoMo, formerly a Madam Wong II. Sam's friend brings us in without any queue.

The place is just full of beautiful people. I just cannot fit into such crowd. I do not dressed up to the nines to attend such glamourous event. They manage to take glimpse of Allan Wu and Wong Lilin but I don't and cannot be bothered.

Beautiful.

Then we walk to the Clarke Quay MRT station and take a train home.

I am still feeling moody and my mind is just clouded by fears and worries.

Rest day

Today I spend whole day at home. I am not feeling well today, especially when I see the ugly scar yet to be recovered. I do some unpacking for a while before going back to sleep. I just need to be isolated from people today

My sister brought the cat back home and I am so pleased to know she still recognizes me.

I miss bangkok.

Bangkok Trip

Bangkok trip from 2-7 June 2005
Will be updated with picture