Monday, March 28, 2005

Disappointment

Today I still have not started my revision. I am still procrastinating.

Plus, I feel betrayed again by someone. This time, It is really ultimate experience. I am robbed of trust, love and faith. Now I know I have to move on and focus on my studies. I through with everything that halt my happiness. I am tired and totally given up. I am going to be my own best friend again.

Shame on you for fooling me once, Shame on me for fooling me twice

Luckily Samuel calls me to go out. Having a friend around to forget the matter makes a lot of difference. I meet him at Buona Vista MRT at 5.45pm. It has been a long time we meet up, hence a lot of catching up. I learn from him that he is applying for teaching career too. How cool if both of us are student again together at NIE. We talk about certain issues on friendship, relationship, future and also his experience in Taiwan. Singapore are just too stagnant for any development.

We have dinner at Foodcourt at Raffles City first before going to Pacific Coffee cafe at citylink to chill out. I bump into Ernie and David .Samuel tells me that I can have free access here, therefore I try to get connected using ibook and to my surpise, i can surf internet and go online free. I bump into my cousin and her friend. Then we talk about American Idol 4. We both just love talking about American idol.

Then we walk to the capitol and take a bus 7 to orchard Road. We walk to Heeren before settling down at Long John Silver restaurant for late supper there. I bumped into charmaine and her gangs. We chit chat a while. He bring up the issue I am facing and tells me to really move on and start to be chirpy esjay. Suddenly, there is light in the end of the tunnel and at last i see the light.

We bump into Eugene and have a brief and hearty conversation . i seems to bump into so many people today. I feels so popular ( just joking ) . Nice to meet them again actually. I even bump into Edmund outside California gym. How sweet to bump into him again but we do not manage to catch up with each other actually because it is already late.

Samuel and I take bus 7 home. The day is fruitful day with a good friend. Issues have been settled and I will be a different man again. Better man.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Another Day

I wake up late as usual. Instead of getting out of the bed, I take my N-gage and continue playing the SIMS game. I get addicted to this game. After hour later, Guziel B. message me regarding my plan later and whether I am interested in playing pool.

Somehow, I am so lazy to go out as the it is raining heavily and the weather is so conducive for sleeping again. But my mind set to study later at school. The idea is called off. I meet him at Clementi Bus interchange at 5pm. I take MRT instead of the bus there because I am late. At least there is MP3 player to accompany me during the journey.I am wearing the tee Guziel B bought for me from Bangkok. It fits me well.

Then we take bus 7 to town and check out the pool area located at 6th storey at Lucky plaza. It is quite empty actually.The rate is $4.50 before 5pm, and after 5pm, the rate is $7 ( for 7ft pool table).

Then we have a early dinner at foodcourt at same level. I have hokkien mee which taste damn horrible and not worth money. So many beansprouts while guziel b has his Chicken rice. Then we walk to POA boutique at Takashimaya S.C. to check out the bag before walking to Heeren for window shopping.

He manages to buy a birthday gift for Dominic: A couple hp strap. Nothing much to see and shopping actually because I am tight financially.We walk to le Meridien Hotel to check another pool area ( Monstercue ) to check out the price. However, we do not bother to enter because it is packed with young bengs. We skip the idea of playing pool.

We take a bus to Holland Village to chill out instead of chiiling out at Border's cafe. I suggest to go to Essential brew cafe. The place is a great spot for chilling out with friends. It is similiar to TCC cafe at boat quay but the difference is that we have to take off our shoes before entering. Hence, everyone is bare-footed. I order Darjeeling tea while Guziel b orders another kind of tea ( I forget the name ) .I will not miss ordering Brownies topped with vanilla ice-cream while I am at cafe. We have some issues to settle and have a hearty conversation. It seems to be like old times. Future may be unpredictable but somehow I get wiser to appreciate and love everyone as per normal.

Suddenly, one girl come to our table. We are shocked to realise that this babe is actually Laysie, our former JC mate, as well as our good friend. She is still pretty and bimbotic as ever. We have a lot of catching up to do. For I know now, she stay at ghim Moh and still available.

Then We part our way at Buona Vista by taking different Bus. I reach home at 11pm ans chat a while with people at MSN before I start to update my blog. Life is so short and I start to get worried.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Saturday alone

I am alone today. I am so lazy to cook breakfast for dinner. I continue playing SIMS game on my N-gage. Then I open my MSN and strike a conversation with guziel b and decide to meet up again after a long cold war.

I am just too lazy to go gym nowadays.I decide to drop by at Heeren and realise that there is a preview of Cleo 50 Eligible Bachelors. I am not sure how degrading or pride to go topless in the public and people just ogle at them like some cheap meats.I am not envious and bitter that I am not be able to join such events. I feel it is so uneccesary to take off your tops to get attention or votes. It does not validate the eligibility of the bachelor.This is not male pageant, but the contest of becoming eligible bachelor who manage to capture female attention with brains and style.

Anyway, I have a super late lunch at Cuppage centre and continue playing my game while waiting just to kill time. I meet him outside Heeren and then walk to Cineleisure Foodcourt for a drink. We have a long and heart conversation with each other. Catching up with each other for long time.

Emotion.Uncertainty.Future.Present.Love.Setbacks.Disappointment.reciprocation.friendship

Then, we take a bus to Raffles City to watch the fashion show by Shanghai designers. I am not that impressed with their contemporary design. Simply cannot understand why garbage bag and cheap white clothes are involved. Plus the catwalk songs just gone wrong. Models are prancing like whores on the stage and the male designers seems to wiggle a lot like soem kind of cheap pimp. How hilarious! I only like the last segment which reminds me the show of 2046: Cheongsam and retro chic clothes. Sunny come and join us.

Then, Guziel B persuade me to follow them to Changi airport and Dominic is driving us there. Since, I have no plan yet, hence I just follow them. But we stop at Farrer Park to collect important documents from his friend before setting off to Airport. At last, I am not the one who drive.

We have dinner at Burger King and check out the flight attendants whom sunny claims that the standard drops tremendously. They talk about the career of fligh attendants. There is not future ,in some way , after one get sick of flying and quit after that. Finding job will be difficult job unless one wants to be recruited as customer service managament. There is not technical skills involved for the career. I realise that too. What one can do after quitting the job being flih attendant?

Then we travel to Marina Square to watch movie.On the way there, we start to have a topic about ghosts. According to sunny, the basement level of carpark in fullerton hotel is haunted. The place was used to be mortuary during japanese occupation. There is also a haunted toilet at basement level of Marina square car park. NUS is also involved. I am surpised that Sunny knows the story happened at Boon Lay and rectify that the story is true then.

When we reach at the movie counter. They decide to skip watching Miss Congeniality 2 which only starts at 12.30am and now it is only 10.30pm. They decide to watch Hitch which I am not interested in, actually. I tell them to watch without me. I am more interested in wtaching Eye 10 since Derek just smses me that the show is damn scary. But they are not that keen to watch horror. After some classic moments with Guziel B's bimbotic antic, they decide to drop the idea of watching TV but to chill out somewhere near Boat quay while I am going to meet Derek for clubbing session.

The night is different, friendly and fun with them actually. I am just being myself, not being plastic or trying hard to impress. Hence, I feels good. Somehow that does not last long later.

I have a great time clubbing with Derek tonight.Music, Fun and Attention are present. Fun with good friends , the moral of the day story. I just cannot stop putting on my smile. At last. I found it again. Mine again.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Soemthing wrong

I realise something wrong with my blog. I cannot see my entry but luckily I have back-up blogspot.com template hence I just cut and paste. Lazy to change the valentines template.

Long time to update

Friday, March 18, 2005

Emotional baggage

Along this journey, I accumulate a lot of emotional baggage, which rob me of my happiness and weigh down my soul as I travel.

Do you find yourself weighed down by breakup baggage? We can find it interesting that so many of us have had relationships that lasted just a few months but took years to get over. It's important to learn to release the bad feelings and move on. Hard to move on soemtimes when it comes to heart matters. Everyone tends to forget to use their brains when they keep in touch with their heart all the times. Maybe heart is the one who bring the blood flow to the brain.

I have so many bags stuffed with anger. I refused to speak to some friends until they come and apologize but don't get me wrong that I am total egoistic bastard but sometimes, one needs to understand that not all can take rude personal insults hurl at others. i guess I need to swallow my pride and start chatting with those people.

Things happen for a reason - good or bad. There are so many issues in life. I need to let go some of them and learn from them. Many times I find that if i carry all that baggage with me, I'd just ahve a harder time emotionally. So that load have to go. I just need time crucial to look within myself.

Why I still not graduate? Why I do not have any inner peace? Why I still not hvaing killer bod? Why I am failure my responsibility as a brother, friend, son and to society? Gosh, i feel like I have no value of existence. I suppose to be optimistic right.

If something goes wrong, is it always someone's else fault? I keep blaming others for my silly mistake and anyone can relate to that . I know it is wrong but is is like short-term lift-me-up that I have someone to share the mistake with.

And especially those who carries the heaviest baggage with grudges with me, you really cannot reach your truest potentiial and feel comfortable doing so until you clean out and clear those messy issues with me that have been hanging over you like thundercloud. I am very forgiving person. *smile*

Hence I need to believe in myself. I do not need to bring up the past. life's so short. let's forget anything that make me unhappy before and live for today. Get on with the new.

Essentials that are neccesary to succeed on life's journey: a deep sense of faith that all things are possible, a belief in oneself, a strong work ethic, and ability to pass on knowledge to thers oonce it happens.

When we're packing our bags on this journey, make them light - only allow room for new ideas, positive energy and optimistic attitude. When we lighten our load and trust God to show us the way, our journey can't helped but be the very best it can. God willing!

Amen.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Waste Time

I am getting lazier and lazier when it comes to going to school. I really feel that I do not have any motivation to improve my life to better. Derek call me to meet up since he is on MC. We meet up at Jurong Point for lunch. As usual, he makes me waiting for 1/2 hour.

Luckily, I borrow some magazines and stuff myself with Old Chang Kee finger foods. I am getting pissed off whle waiting for him. When he arrives, i just try to relax. We have our lunch at Banquet restaurant. I order my usual favourite Yong Tau Foo.

Then we proceed to Sembawang Music Store , as he wants to browse some CD. Again, I need to wait for him to finish up trying out the CDs he want to listen. I am not that keen in buying CDs because I do not have any cash also. Before that, we check out Liberty Supermarket. He manage to get CD for $9.90.

Then, we go up to the 4th level for sweet dessert. Then Derek ask me to go to his place as he needs to burn CD he just bought into his MP3 player. I am like going 'huh' at his face. He promises me he takes 10 minutes only. I, again give myself a chance to believe him. I wait and wait for him ... until half hour later, I sms him how much time he needs and he reply that he is coming down now. I wait and wait again for another 15 minutes and this is too much. He is not staying in 1000th storeys which need much time for a lift to decelerate .I decide to leave and not giving a chance to myself to be a fool and him to make me wait for me. He needs to be considerate, my time is much precious as him and letting him do all the stuff while I am waiting for him , doing nothing. Ridiculous! Unfruitful !

I promise myself that, I wont wait for anyone, without a really good valid reason, for more than 15 minutes.

I guess no point, being a good guy, but still being played out by people for name of friendship. I feel disgusted at this kind of excuse. I guess, i shall return back as a mean boy and never let anyone step my head .

I go to DFS S.C to meet Tee's friend to collect the bag for him. Then I go to YMCA for a rest before going to Cali Gym for my cardio session. I miss the Bodycombat because I go for the visit someone at Sophia Road. Gosh, I really wish to have an apartment of own. It is very beautiful apartment with zen touch. I am so envious.

On the way home, I bump into a friend from cali and take a same bus home. At least, I have a company at this late time.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Damn

10am!!!

I am late for my M463 quiz. I woke up and thinking of a solution so that I can get to do the quiz again. I start to calm down and make a decision to get medical certificate ( MC ) from neighbourhood clinic as it is a criteria to allow me to take quiz again.

I go to XXXXXX ( the name of clinic is to be protected ) clinic again because Terence know the doctor and I am introduced to him before during my industrial attachment . There are times during that 6 month period that I do not wish to come to work due to the demanding boss , increasing workload and ridiculous projects beyond my work scope. I need to get some medical certificate to get away from that hell for short time.

Anyway, the clinic is just nearby.

I walk towards there and am welcomed by the lady at the counter. She still recognizes me. How sweet of her. It is my turn for consultation and I lie to the doctor that I have diarrhea and I went to toilet three time this morning. How much my acting is very convincing, his acting is no better than mine. He touch gentlely on my stomach and say that I have mild food poisoning. Voila! Both our acting skills are so convincing as doctor-patient scene. He knows that I just want the MC today. I get what I wants and he gets what he wants - touching me ... I am joking.. more income from desperate people like me.

I pay $26 for that piece of paper.

11pm shows on my clock. Time to do grocery shopping. I go to Prime supermarket to buy some neceesities and UNO card that cost only $2. I cook Bali Chicken Curry and Acar. It is really a tough job to cook actually.

My mum returns and starts nagging at the mess around me. Everything I do seems to be the topic of her nagging. Worse, I put wrong ingredient into the blender and she tells me that it will taste worse and cause wastage because none of us will eat it. Of course, I am a bit disappointed if my cooking is not being appreaciated. Hey, she is more expertise in cooking and i am just amatuer. Hence I just discontinue and just eat my chicken curry.

Then I go for BodyBalance class since I am late for BodyCombat. Bodybalance is simpler version of Yoga. I just need to warm up my body before having a serious workout with Tee later.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Need serious update

I need serious update for my blogging.

I go to Prime Supermarket to buy some grocery and buy myself a $2 breakfast meal.I suppose to go to school to study after the tutorial but I decide to study at home first. Somehow, TV is the major distraction when one studys at home.

Then I go to Mcdonald nearby to do my revision but when time' clicks away, noise becomes the other distraction. I am quite worry about tommorow revision because I do not want to waste other chance to flunk in this subject. I need to clear this tough module. I am getting paranoid suddenly.

I go home but my mum is still not at home. I fry egg and have my dinner before I continue revising. My mind becomes plateau and I start to surf internet till 10pm .I tell my mum that I need to take a nap before continue my revision.

Somehow, before revision, I watch Charmed at star channel. The show is getting more bitchier and bimbotic. Plain crappy but I like somehow. This time, the episode is about the demon stealing the human's guardian angel to gain power. The demon manages to get Paige's guardian angel which cause him to be so powerful hence want to steal other two sisters' guardian angels to be sumpreme.

This time, Leo becomes a different person after possessing new power to heal dead . Yes, Piper and Phoebe are killed by that demon and leo brings them back to life. And they are becoming so bitchy after death experience.

Then i start to revise unseteady flow part and I am getting worried because I am still not fully understand the parts. Worse, my concentration starts to shift when HBO screen Lord of Rings III : The return of the King. And the show runs in 3 hours. Yes , It ends at 5.15am. It has been two years I watch this show with Guziel on New Year's Eve. I just love the movie.

Courage is our friend
Quote by the princess when the troops see the enormous evil troops attacking the Gourdon.Impressive.I ask my mum to wake me up at 6.30 am to continue my revision.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Gathering

I wake up early ,actually to accompany my mum to clinic at Jurong West St 42. She is complaining of stomach pain yesterday . We take a taxi and I feel so tired and sleepy actually. Worse, waiting for her to finish consultation is time-consuming.

I disrobe my glamour image into simple and nerdy look as I am going to wet market later. I love going to wet market as it never fails to astonish me with those properly arrangment of vegetables, poultry and seafood. It is much cheaper than supermarket. It is like a social meet-up among the housewives. My mum stops and have a brief chat with other people.

I even manage to meet my childhood friend when i stay at old Jurong West. i also admit that I ahve a fair share of praise from my mum's friends despite how sloppy I am. Now, the only problem is taking a bus to go back home with so many things as well as the crowd who return from wet market. No more car now.

Again, I need car.

After I have my breakfast, I go back to sleep until 4pm. Then I start to eat Mee Siam Curry made by my mum, as they are going to tanah Merah Safra Chalet organised by my favourite grandauntie. But i skip the idea of going there because my uncle does not go with them. And I will be terribly bored to tears with them.

I go to meet Derek at City Hall at 7pm and have a subway meal before going to IT fair again, This time, IT fair is jam-packed with human traffic. It is terrible. I have to line up for Derek while he goes to get the receipt for his speaker. I miss the chance to buy the digicamera and MP3 player. My mum does not give me money . Then we go to Xbox area to try out the games. Imagine two adult trying to fight over the game console to play Soul Caliber. Worse, his father pampers him so much. I am getting Bitch Fit. I just tell the father off that we are also have the chance to try the game yet his father does not do much but to listen to that BRAT. So irritating, I only manage to play 3 times and I always get killed by this guy .

Then,we go to Body shop as Derek wants to buy some product before proceeding home.

My parents are still not back yet hence I just watch TV to kill time because I am very hungry. But i receive a sms from friend whether I want to join him for clubbing. Hence I take $50 from my mum's wallet. I know it is not right but no choice but to take, not steal the money. I spent whole night clubbing.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

IT fair

I feel damn terrible, and pissed off. I hate being student. I need to work and have income. I do not manage to persuade my mum to give me money to buy creative DiVi Cam . I hate it.

I meet Derek at Lakeside MRT station at 2.30pm to go to IT fair at Suntec City . Apparently, waiting for people for more than 15 minutes will give me a rage and anger and I can be very nasty. Worse, Derek come after 30 minutes. I do not wait for a guy for half hour , i can understand if girl is being late because she needs to dress up and make up to look good but not for guys.

Guys are late because they are purposely take their time to take their butts off to be on time.

I am so irritated with him even though he gives a valid reason that his camp officer calls him to settle some matters as he is on off today. No matter what, I hate waiting and lateness. My whole day will be ruined and I don't look good. And when i don't look good, the world seems to look bad.

We have lunch at Subway. I order Tuna 6inch Sandwich while Derek order cold-cut 6inch sandwich. Subway meals are healthier and filling. I also love meals at delifrance. Somehow I prefer there because it is much classy than subway restaurant.

We walk to Suntec Exhibition for thr IT fair. We straightaway proceed to two booths only - Apple and Creative. I try to convince myself that DiVicam is lousy, so as to console myself.True enough, Derek say that the image being captured is blur. I am quite disappointed actually. Anyway, i am just browsing and checking out the things again. Derek wants to buy the speaker which is quite powerful and the price is like only $59. But these speakers stocks come only tommorrow.

I begin to accept Creative Micro MP3 player capability even though I am hardcore fan of iPod. Even derek convinces me about how better Creative Micro is as he himself has one. Then we walk to Starhub booth and decide to play Xbox game. We both like small kids trying to compete each other in the midst of crowd. I guess we are too engrossed to becoming a winner.

Sandia approachs me suddenly at Suntec City, and I am pleasantly surpised to see Jimmy too. They have a roadshow there .They sure make my day at that moment. I miss meeting Vanessa and Ming Wei that day. And Felecia too.

Then we take a bus to California Gym. I go for my Body Combat class while Derek goes for hip hop class. I am impressed with him for doing the steps rights during the class. I bump into Francis, my ex-hall mate in Hall 14. He is already married last year and i feel like a old man who achieve nothing. I feel so inadequate suddenly but nice to bump into him since 2003 .

I go for serious training session with Tee and I feel good. I already promise Lily and Lincoln that I will get a killer bod soon. Of course, i cannot deny that I need a lot of hard work and discipline. I must make lily proud of me.

Tee and I go and meet brandon and Ernie outside HMV. Later I met up with Derek for supper before going to club with him. Nice to hang out with Derek somehow even though he is like only 23 years old. I feel so old.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Beelan And Creative

I go for 2 hour M454 lecture but do not manage to concentrate on what the lecturer trying to tell. I am so sleepy and tired . I need coffee but my body cannot accept coffee because I end up getting more sleepy rather than fully awake. I have weird body system. I should have bring my ibook in lecture.

Kailing is sweet enough to mark attendance for me even though I am present. This girl is damn sincere and true friend for everyone who knows her. Then I go back home, change and then meet Bee Lan at Orchard Road. She suddenly decides to change venue to Suntec City because She wants to attend IT show there. I meet her earlier at Topshop ( my favourite boutique) and have a dunch/linner ( lunch cum dinner ) at the foodcourt.

She passes me the tee shirt and bag which i ask her to buy during her bangkok trip. She is sweet enough to help me to buy . She has a bochup taste in selecting tee unlike Hui Hui but she has a good taste in choosing the bag. I like the bag so much, not because it is green. I feel young when I carry it.

We have proper chat regarding the future, career and surpisingly it comes from someone whom I think of as a blur queen. Time flies so fast and we are not getting younger. How much I try not to think of futre but it keeps haunting at every occasion.

We walk around the IT fair. Bee Lan manages to buy wireless mouse and USB port . We walk over to Creative booth as she wants to check out the mp3 player which is bought by Hui Hui recently. It is because it is cheap and lighter. And idiotproof. We both like some curious IT-idiot , touching and trying everything in front of us, as these things are really amazing and fascinating.

Hui Hui joins us later and just simply walk around before we part our ways.

I go to cali gym for serious and long cardio work out. I manage to catch Chase startting Linda Loe and UTT. I just so envious of Utt for being so beautiful and carries that hairstyle so well, I just want to be like him but I am trying hard to be someone else. Utt is like alter ego of mine but God is fair, he is short in height.

I am all wet in perspiration, just like coming out of the pool in my gym attire. Sexy and oozes the masculine smell. This will turn on some female species with tantalizing scent , not that fatty's horrid smell. I remembered I did some X-trainer and I cannot help sniffing in the air for that familiar stench and I turn beside me and saw this plump guy, panting damn hard while doing the x-trainer. I cannot take it but to change the location. No offence but I just need clear air for proper work out.

I attend William's bodycombat class for 1 hour and have a wonderful fat-burning day today.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Cleo Bachelor

When i told Derek that , I am interested in coming a model and I know I am joking about it. I never realise that he give me a call later and pass the number of this guy who own the talent/modelling agency which is still new in the industry. I am not even confident to admit that I look good.

Of course, I am intereested in participating ine Cleo's eligible bachelor contest. I know I am not that eligible actually. The participants are out and there is no familar face this year. I got so much flaws physically and I am not proud of having this flaws in the body . I have tummy and that is the sad part . I need discipline RIGHT now. Anyway, I can be one of the Eligible bachelor under right connection. Or I am too old for this thing .

Talking aging, I hate being old. Everyday I always come across old men and the images are that pleasing. Baldness, big tummy, wrinkled facial and slow motor reaction. I keep thinking when I come across these people. Are they taking care of themselves when they are young? Or I just sit and do nothing about slow the ageing process. Even I am at 40s, I still need to maintain 30s looks. But now, I look damn old at my young age.

Stress. Emotional turmoil. Anger. Stress AGAIN.

I must do more yoga to improve flexibilty and add lubricants to my joints. Derek tells me that Yoga can make one lose weight too. Anything to slow down the ageing process. I fear death as similar as getting old and senile. And ugly.

No matter what, I have two more weeks to get toned and flat stomach. No more chocolates and carbo.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

realtionship

Why everyone need a company ? to ease the loneliness?

I put on my thinking cap recently.I don't remember myself who I am when I am with you.I gave my heart to you. I gave up my friends like you said I should do. I compromise my life and dreams just to make you belong to me.

I shouldn't have

You leave me out when you're with other. You make me feel dumb and alone and I don't know where to go.My esteem just spiralled down.I gave you control felt helpless without you.I cannot be your friend
the way we were unhappy when I am with you , just making a misery love company.I am loser in such relationship. Why I need to feel so empty, and cry out for insecurites that need to be destroyed.

I shouldn't have

I hunger for concern and attention from you who cannot afford it. I lose control and blamed you but I am not allowed to have my own day. I have expectactions of you, that lead to disappointment and because you have no obligation to love me back the way I love you, because humans are just not born for such selfless acts.

I shouldn't have.

I am through with Love.

No worries. I am still single, just for someone who cannot take a break-up easily.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Monday

Today, I woke up with sore eyes. I guess it is a sign to miss the lecture. Maybe when i have done with dressing up for school, it still persistent. Hence , I go back to sleep at my parents' bedroom , which is much cleaner and less dusty than my room.

Nothing much to do today but to rush to california gym for bodypump. I am early so I do some running to warm up my body.

During bodypump, I never realise how weak my muscle is.I cannot endure during some of the session. I realise my legs are small. I realise my major muscles are weak. I really to do more bodypump instead of normal weight-training session.

There is so much things to be done to improve my physique. I already make promise to be more discipline in training my body and have nice bod. All I need is just a push and discipline.

I go to YMCA to work out some weekly plan. Something to achieve small goals. Suddenly I feel so serene.

Thank God for being there for me now.

Tonight, I am quite angry with my mum regarding my sis vacant room. I want to make it to be home office but she disagree. I am like blasting her by saying that why ,she want to rent the room out ? I just ignore her.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Wasted

Today, I seek attention from the crowd by dressing up in super pink V neck tee and black bermuda which cause a great constrast to the pink. I'm loving it.

Looking like some faggot but hey, pink is in this summer.I shall start to sport goatee or stubble.Anyway I go to the library to do some work but I skip my important tutorial.

I submit my CA and then buy my lunch at canteen B and go home. Nothing much to do but take a nap. End up having a headache.

I go to town to meet Tee for gym workout. Nothing much interesting today except that I am worried about revision somehow. Today I do not even do any revision at all and I feel quite guilty.

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I'm gonna show you that good guys don't always win, I'm gonna show you the brighter side of living in sin.So when you're six feet under, you won't wonder why, Just 'cause you got a halo don't mean that you can fly.If you thought it was over, you're way off track, You made a blunder, and...You put me back, back in business,This ain't no hit or miss, I'm gonna get my way.'Cause you put me back, back in business,You're my first witness, and I'm here to stay.I'm gonna show you good guys always finish lastSpeaking of virtue, being nice is a thing of the past.When I want something done, I'll say it with a gun.kJust 'cause you're an angel don't mean you're having fun..I just wanted to thank you for what you lack. Hope they don't hang you, 'cause...I'm coming back in style